


The Contract

by Gia_Sesshoumaru



Series: The Contract [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Addiction, Angst, Depression, Drama, M/M, PTSD, Pre-Relationship, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Wordcount: Over 50.000, alternate universe - freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-04-13 20:27:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 59,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4536204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gia_Sesshoumaru/pseuds/Gia_Sesshoumaru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Voldemort’s demise, Harry struggles with nightmares and depression. When Dreamless Sleep and Sleeping Potions stop working, he goes to only person he thinks can help him – Severus Snape.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is cross-posted on Fanfiction.Net under my pen name Gilana1 to reach more people. This story is pre-Snarry and will be continued in the planned sequel. Also, thanks to my betas/pre-readers for all their help - Ticia, wonderwomanlovesyou221, and Lady Eve! You guys are wonderful.
> 
> Edit: Also, thanks to skyla2010star for the beta!

Harry Potter stood in front of the door and wished that he had another option. In the past three years, though, his options had dwindled to nothing. After he’d defeated Voldemort, he’d had this idea in his head of how his life would go from that point on. He would become an Auror, he would marry Ginny, they would have children, and he would be happy. After all, why wouldn’t he be happy after finally destroying Voldemort, who had made his life a living hell for seven years? That had been his mistake; he should have realized by then that nothing ever worked out the way that he wanted it to.

He thought he’d be happy with Voldemort gone, but happiness had been the farthest emotion from him at that moment. He’d been more relieved than anything else. All he’d wanted to do was to be with Ron and Hermione and to sleep. Neither of those things had happened, of course. He was, after all, the Wizarding World’s Greatest Hero. He’d gotten what only seemed like a short time to himself before everyone had wanted a piece of him. Without anywhere else to go, he’d gone to stay with Weasleys. It seemed as though the letters started hounding both him and the family before the dust had even settled upon the graves of the many that died. 

The list had been long, not as long as it could have been, he supposed, but long enough to haunt him. He’d stared at the list over and over before Hermione had snatched it out of his hand. She had left soon afterward to go and find her parents. Ron had offered to go with her, but she had wanted to do it by herself. She returned what seemed like an eternity later to her boyfriend, Ron, but in reality, it had only been a week or two.

The Burrow had not been the happy place it was before. Arthur and Molly were depressed at first at the loss of Fred, as well as Remus and Tonks. Their infant child, Teddy, was with Andromeda, where he would stay. She had shown up, her eyes red-rimmed as if she had been crying. Of course, she had. She had lost her husband, daughter, and son-in-law in a very short period of time. Teddy was really the only thing she had left. She would raise him, which had been fine with Harry, as he had been only seventeen at the time. As his godfather, he would go over and help whenever he could.

Harry hadn’t felt like leaving. He knew the Weasleys wouldn’t kick him out or anything. In reality, he hadn’t felt like leaving the room he shared with Ron. If the Weasleys themselves were hurting, George was a wreck. He barely left his room at all for what seemed like a long time. Losing his twin had shaken him to his core. As for Harry himself, he just felt… lost. It was like, yeah, Voldemort’s dead, now what do I do? The idea of being an Auror didn’t seem too appealing to him anymore, but what else could he really do? Professional Quidditch? Somehow, that didn’t sound quite right, either.

So, Harry had hung out at the Burrow. Molly and Arthur didn’t ask him to leave. In fact, they seemed happy to have him there. Arthur went back to work at the Ministry. Kingsley Shacklebolt had been named interim Minister of Magic. He talked about wanting to clean out the corruption in the Ministry. It sounded great, but Harry wasn't convinced that was really possible. Hermione wanted to go back to school and finish up her final year that she’d missed while hunting Horcruxes with Harry. She wasn’t the only one in their year that was going back either, but most had skipped their NEWTs and were moving on to life after. Ron had wanted to be an Auror, and the Ministry was looking for them. He had signed up quickly, wanting to drag Harry along. Harry, however, had pushed the idea away and went back to hiding in his room. Despite losing Fred, the Weasleys were determined to move on. Sadness still permeated the house, though. It seemed as if everything reminded them all of what they’d lost. That was why it was easier for Harry to hide. If he hid under the covers long enough, everything would go away and get better.

Harry had been okay until the trials started. After that, it was all anyone talked about. It was on the WWN and in the Daily Prophet. In his opinion, it seemed as if the Wizarding World thought sending a bunch of people to Azkaban would make it all better. To them, it was like pushing the dirt under a rug makes you forget that the dirt was ever there. It didn’t make sense to him. He had skipped all the trials, preferring to hide in the hole that he created for himself until the major ones happened – the big name Death Eaters. He had been required to attend. The most prominent trials by far were that of the Malfoy Family and Snape.

Yes, Severus Snape had survived, though just barely. He’d been found unconscious and bleeding on the floor of the Shrieking Shack where Harry had thought he’d died. Recovering in St. Mungo’s, he had still been weak by the time his trial came long. The Malfoy Family trials had come first. Draco had been the first of the three to stand trial. Harry had spoken up for him, saying that he did not participate in the final battle. He had also lied to his aunt and father about if he recognized him or not, saving his life. It was obvious that he was forced into participating, and thus, the charges were dropped.

Narcissa’s trial had been up next. She was not an actual Death Eater in that she did not have the Dark Mark, but she was a sympathizer. Harry had also spoken up for her, saying that he owed her a life debt because she lied to Voldemort’s face and told him he was dead when he wasn’t. He wasn’t sure he wanted to owe her a life debt, but there wasn’t much he could do about that now. As she also had not participated in the final battle, her charges were also dropped.

Lucius Malfoy’s trial, however, had been a lot more complicated. After all, he had lied after the first war. Saying that he’d been bewitched by the Imperius Curse wouldn’t work this time around because now it was public knowledge that he was a Death Eater. Harry hadn’t really been all that surprised when he cooperated fully with anything they asked, but he was a bit surprised when he agreed to give whatever information that they required. He had provided information against many Death Eaters who were trying to evade arrest by the Ministry. That information, however surprising it may have been, had turned out to be invaluable as many of them were caught.

Severus Snape’s trial had come after that. He had still been weak from Nagini’s attack. He had gotten off after the first trial because Dumbledore had vouched for him as a spy. However, Dumbledore wasn’t here this time because Snape himself had killed him. Harry had needed to speak up for him this time, and after what he’d seen in the other man’s memories, he had been more than willing. The very idea that he would speak for Severus Snape had shocked people. He had advocated for the man very passionately, and Snape’s memories were used to prove what he had been saying - with his permission, of course (not that he’d had much choice in the matter.)

It had worked, and Snape also provided information – including backing up much of what Lucius Malfoy had told them. He had been released back into the care of St. Mungo’s for further recovery, and after they had cleared him, he was free to go his own way. Of course, he would never be allowed to work at Hogwarts again, but Harry was sure that the school’s former Potions Master was secretly very happy about that because anyone could have seen that he hated the job.

With the trials over, one would think that Harry’s life would be better from then on out. However, the trials had brought on a much bigger problem. As soon as they had started, so did the nightmares. It was as if every time he closed his eyes, the faces of all those who had died for him came to him. It always reminded him of all the lives that had ended because they had sided with him. Yes, it had been their choice, but it was still because of Harry. If only he had been able to end the war faster, find the Horcruxes faster, maybe, just maybe…

Harry would just wake up screaming sometimes. Other nights, he would come back to consciousness kicking and thrashing. Voldemort had still haunted his dreams, as well. He knew Ron would never complain, but he disturbed everyone with it. It hadn’t mattered if they told him it was fine. So, he had moved out. After trying out five different Wizarding flats and getting the same reactions – “Merlin, it’s Harry Potter!”, “Look, everyone, it’s Harry Potter!”, “Harry Potter’s going to live here!” – he went to a Muggle flat. Ron talked about moving in together, but Harry quickly squashed that. The truth was, he hadn’t wanted Ron around all the time though he couldn’t explain why.

Harry’s new flat was nice, and it helped some. The Weasleys were great, but being around them was another reminder of what he saw every night in his nightmares – people dying for him. After that, he joined the Auror Department. As much as he enjoyed the job – well, at first, anyway – it brought on too much press. Some days, he found it hard to get out of bed because just knowing what would be waiting for him when he left his flat and entered the Wizarding World was enough to make him want to scream.

He thought things would get better, but he should have known nothing would be that easy. His relationship with Ginny ended, quite badly, if he did say so himself. She tried to be there for him and help him, but she didn’t know how and honestly, he didn’t want her help. He didn’t want to feel like he was something that needed to be fixed. After she and Hermione had left school, she got a position on the Holyhead Harpies Quidditch team as a Chaser. Hermione went to the Ministry in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. She wanted to make a difference.

Harry was happy for them, really he was. Ron was enjoying his job as an Auror. Hermione wanted to help get magical creatures the rights that they deserved, and anyone with half a brain cell knew not to mess with Hermione Granger. It wasn’t that Harry didn’t enjoy the job as an Auror, but… it just felt like he was going through life in this thick, gray haze and no matter what he did, it never left him. He and Ginny kept in touch. He didn’t want her out of his life altogether, but whatever they had in school was gone as soon as the war ended.

Over two years after the end of the war, something else had happened that proved to him that his life was not meant to be happy. Something would always come along and snatch it away. If not Voldemort or some Death Eater, then some random freak thing because, hey, he’s Harry Potter, so why not screw with him some more?

Harry had been over visiting the Weasleys. Arthur had been holed up in his shed working on something. He was fixing to leave, so he wanted to say goodbye to the older man and had gone to visit him in the shed. He was examining some cursed Muggle artifact. Well, Harry entering the room set something off – either that or it was random – and some of the dark magic infused in the device came right at him, hitting him square in the chest.

His memory was a bit sketchy, but he remembered waking up a couple of days later in a back room of the infirmary at Hogwarts, surrounded by the Weasleys and Madam Pomfrey. After all, they had been smart enough not to take him to St. Mungo’s where the press would undoubtedly find out. They couldn’t get him in there without someone seeing, and there was no one there they really trusted.

Madam Pomfrey also informed him that while she had stopped the dark magic from doing any further damage, a great deal had been done already. Arthur looked horrible and kept continually apologizing. Harry told him it was fine, and he didn’t blame him, more to shut him up than anything else. In truth, it wasn’t Arthur’s fault… it was his. These things just happened to him. Something would have happened to him eventually regardless, so better the bad things happen sooner rather than let him get a false sense of security.

Madam Pomfrey informed him that the spell had done damage to his chest and lungs. He would feel straining in that area if he got overly upset and nervous, that it would almost feel like a heart attack. He needed to stay calm, and staying in shape wouldn’t hurt either. She gave him the recipe for a potion to try should the effects worsen. It could be made into a salve, as well, so he could either drink the potion or rub the salve on his chest to calm the effects. She told him not to use that as an excuse, though, and that getting upset when one of these attacks happened would only make things worse. If he took deep breaths and kept calm, anything he was feeling would pass.

Harry’s Auror career was also over. Among everything else, she informed him that a spell to the chest could not just injure him, but might put too much strain on him and kill him. Sure, take that from him, too. Why not? She tried to make it sound like it was not a big deal, but to him, it was merely the icing on the cake that was his life.

Over the next year, his life got worse. Ron and Hermione got happier, talked about moving into together, and eventually did it. Ginny was doing great in professional Quidditch. The joke shop was going great – a little too great, as it turned out. Without Fred, George simply couldn’t manage it all comfortably by himself. So, he offered his little brother a job after he expressed interest. Ron would be his co-manager at Weasleys Wizard Wheezes. Ron accepted, quitting his job as an Auror.

Meanwhile, Harry left the Ministry altogether. He didn’t know what he wanted to do. He had enough money to last him for quite a while. After all, he hadn’t actually needed to work, and he’d made decent money as an Auror. McGonagall and the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, a woman named Estelle Rockfort, asked him to do a couple of lectures on Defense Against the Dark Arts. He accepted, despite feeling like he didn’t know what to say. They’d seemed happy with both lectures that he’d done, though.

The nightmares, however, hadn’t gone away, and Harry was getting worse. Originally, Hermione had suggested Dreamless Sleep potions and Sleeping Draughts – light ones that wouldn’t knock him out for a couple of days. He couldn’t just walk into an apothecary, though. He’d tried that, and it inevitably ended up in the paper the next morning. He made them himself from time to time but buying the ingredients was hard, too. Hermione helped him, but she always harped on about not overdoing it on potions because he was also taking the potion for his chest pains as well whenever he got an attack. That irked him more than anything - he needed them.

It felt like Harry had stopped sleeping altogether, even though he knew that wasn’t true. He started getting more tired during the day. Working out did seem to help him be a bit healthier. Sometimes, he would overdo it in the gym to make up for what was going wrong in the other aspects of his life. He had also gained occasional migraines, which he had to take either potions or Muggle pills for. He felt like he hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep since the war ended, and the nightmares were constant when he couldn’t get Dreamless Sleep.

Harry had been pushing away Ron and Hermione, all the Weasleys, really. Sure, Arthur and Molly would never truly get over the loss of their child, but it seemed as if everyone was moving on except for him. Ron and Hermione had moved in together. It made him begin to resent all of them. How could they be happy when he couldn’t? He didn’t even remember what being happy felt like, let alone how to achieve that. Hermione kept telling him to talk to someone about it, but that just annoyed him even more. As if talking could fix what he was going through!

Harry didn’t know what to do, and he started to become desperate. He kept telling himself that he just needed to sleep. If he could just sleep, he could clear his mind. So, that left him where he was now – standing in front of the door. It was the back door to a new apothecary only a couple of years old in Diagon Alley. It was called _The Master’s Shop_. Hermione’s theory was that the Potions Master behind the potions was Snape, but no one ever saw his face. That was the mystery of it. Harry had tried asking directly for him, and the attendant always turned him down, saying he could write or make an appointment.

 _Yeah, right_ , Harry thought to himself. There was no way if it was Snape that he would want to talk to him. He told himself that if he could just see him, he might be able to talk him into giving him some potion of his creation. All he needed was something simple yet strong enough to knock him out when the potions he’d been taking had stopped working. He just needed to sleep. So, after standing outside for about fifteen minutes and pacing back and forth, he walked up to the door to knock. It had opened before he had even finished.

“I thought you were going to stand outside all day, Potter.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read, commented, bookmarked and left kudos. I appreciate it so much! Also, the goal for this story is going to be around 11 - 16 chapters - might be more, but won't be less.

“I thought you were going to stand outside all day, Potter.” Snape stood there, a familiar sneer on his lips. His voice had his usual drawl, filled with distaste for the person in front of him – Harry himself.

“You knew I was here?” Harry knew as soon as the words were out of his mouth that it was a stupid question.

Snape scoffed as if the idea that he hadn’t known was ludicrous. “Of course, I knew, you imbecile,” he told him. “You think I wouldn’t notice someone walking up to my door and pacing there for fifteen minutes, especially you? Now, why are you here, Potter?”

It was clear that Snape was not going to move until Harry spoke, and he hadn’t expected anything more. “I need your help.” He put his hand out to stop the door from moving before the other man had a chance to close it. “Please, just listen. I need a sleeping potion, something strong. I’ve tried everything, and they don’t work anymore.”

It was clear that Snape still didn’t care. “I have a shop. This is no reason to bother me.” His tone was cutting, but that was nothing new to Harry.

He kept his hand where it was, and he knew that if the older man wanted to overpower him and close the door anyway, he could most likely do so. He would need to hurry. “I’ve tried going in your shop, but I need something else,” he told him. “I tried asking for ‘the master,' assuming it was you, but your shop worker wouldn’t let me.”

“Of course not, there’s a reason why I am anonymous. Now, if you don’t mind –“

“Please, I know you have something else that I can use, maybe something you use for yourself,” he told him. “I’ll pay you for it in full. I’ll pay you more. I’m desperate. Come on, I’m practically begging here.”

Snape just stood there, seeming to be thinking it over. After a few moments, he stood aside, gesturing up the stairs to his right. Harry nodded. “Thank you.” With that, he walked past his former professor and up the stairs as indicated.

When he reached the stop of the stairs, he found himself in Snape’s rooms. The room was stark, only having what was needed. There was a fireplace with a couple of chairs in front of it and a small table in between them. There was a couch nearby with a table in front of it. There were a few bookcases lining the walls and a desk in the corner. Past that he could see the kitchen, which also seemed to have a small round dining room table with a couple of chairs. He saw a small hallway off to the right past that, assuming that was probably where the bedroom was.

“Sit down,” Snape ordered. Since he was doing him a favor, Harry did as we were told and took a seat on the couch. Snape walked towards where his bedroom was presumably located. “So, why does the great Harry Potter require one of my sleeping potions?” Sarcasm and disdain dripped from his voice as he spoke. “Too many adoring fans that you feel the need to knock yourself out?” The word ‘adoring’ was said as if it was something horrible and dirty.

It took all of Harry’s self-control not to snap at him, but the man was doing him a favor. If he pissed him off, he was likely going to hex him before throwing him out on his arse. He even fought the urge to roll his eyes, knowing that Snape could probably sense stuff like that, and he really didn’t want to piss him off. “It’s just… well, I need them.” He was surprised at how weak his voice sounded. Regardless, he did not want to admit to Snape the reason why he truly needed it.

Snape came back a few moments later, a small blue vial in his hand. He walked straight towards him and held it out for him to see. “You just need it?” It was obvious that he thought that was probably the most stupid thing he ever heard.

Harry had no idea why Snape wanted to know, but most likely he just couldn’t fathom why “the Boy-Who-Lived” would need something like this. Then again, it seemed as if he was giving him something that he didn’t sell, so in a way, it almost made sense for him to ask. It wasn’t as if he was ever nice about anything. Once more, Harry fought the urge to snap at him and roll his eyes. “I have nightmares, okay?” He felt kind of defeated now, but wouldn’t let Snape know that.

That seemed to be enough of an answer for Snape. “This is a very strong, very potent sleeping potion. I designed it myself for my own, personal use. It can only be taken in small doses, and one can easily overdose on it. You take two or three drops every two or three days, no more no less. If sleeping potions are becoming ineffective, you are probably becoming addicted, so you should wean yourself off. This means you should start off with two or three drops every two or three days and then slowly lower the dosage. You should be going down to one or two days a week, one day a week, every other week, et cetera… You should reduce the dosage of the drops as well. Take it in your nighttime drink, but don’t mix with alcohol.”

Snape said the whole thing very quickly, and it almost gave Harry whiplash. Snape’s words about possibly becoming addicted echoed his mind for a brief moment before he forced them out.  He then set the vial on the table before going over to the desk. He wrote on two pieces of parchment before bringing them both over. One was small and looked torn. He rolled it up and attached it to the bottle. He assumed that was the directions. The other he handed to Harry. “Is that satisfactory?”

Harry looked over it. It was the list of ingredients with a note for labor. _Ah, this is what it cost him to make it,_ he thought to himself. He was pretty sure that the older wizard was over exaggerating on the prices, but he truly was desperate. If it is what it cost, he was more than happy to pay it. He took a tiny bag out of his pocket and then grabbed his wand, enlarging it. He dumped out some Galleons on the table, leaving only a few in the bag. He shrunk the bag and put it back in his pocket. “That should be it.”

Snape counted, and then nodded, sliding the bottle across the table towards him. “Our business is done, Potter. Now I suggest you leave whence you came.”

Harry took that as his cue to leave and stood up, nodding. He walked towards the stairs, and then hesitated before turning back. “Thank you. Honestly.” He then left, walking down the stairs and out the door before Apparating to an alley outside of his flat.

Harry took the trek up to the fourth floor, before turning down a hallway. He found his flat and entered it. Taking a deep breath, he walked straight back towards his bedroom. He took off his jeans, making sure to take out his wand and the tiny bag of galleons he’d gotten for Snape. He undid the spell on the bag, putting it in the drawer. He set his wand on top of the table near his bed. The vial Snape had given him, he’d been holding the whole time.

Harry unrolled the parchment attached to it and saw – almost word for word – the directions that Snape had told him earlier in the man’s familiar scrawl. He set it on the table, putting the vial on top. Deciding he had no more reason to stay up, he figured he should take it in case the symptoms were delayed. He went and made himself a cup of tea, and then walked into his bedroom, putting three drops in just as directed. He went out to watch some television before going to bed. As soon as the tea was finished, he could feel himself getting drowsy.

 _Damn, Snape wasn’t kidding. This stuff is strong_ , Harry thought. He went to get ready for bed, and as soon as he lay down, sleep quickly overtook him. He awoke the next morning feeling quite rested. “It worked I guess,” he told himself. After all, he had not had any nightmares last night. “Thanks, Snape,” he said to no one in particular.

That night, Harry didn’t take the Potion as Snape had told him not to. The man’s instructions had been simple – every two or three days.  Unfortunately, the nightmares returned since he was not under the influence of the potion, and he didn’t sleep much. It left him in a bad mood all day; he was glad that no one decided to visit him that day, as he was not in the mood for company.

Harry took the potion that night because that was every two days, wasn’t it? It was safe, right? The nightmares disappeared. The morning after, he felt better now that he’d gotten a good night’s sleep. It was then that he found himself wondering why Snape would need something this strong. After all, nothing else worked anymore for him. Of course, that was a stupid thing about which to wonder.

Snape had been through more than most people, and it was only natural that some nights he would have nightmares. It was a bit weird to think of him having nightmares for some reason, and he wasn’t sure why. That was the only explanation for him to have such a strong sleeping potion. It made him wonder how often they happened. It could also explain why he asked why Harry needed it, and why he didn’t argue once Harry admitted the reason why. Then again, he might be overthinking things. It had been a business transaction, after all.

Harry followed Snape’s instructions for the next week, but it became harder and harder for him to go from having a good night’s sleeping to waking up screaming. Something had to be done, so he started taking it a bit more – just a little. It worked. “Snape must have been exaggerating,” he told himself aloud one day.

Harry still didn’t take it every day, because that was dangerous, but he didn’t wean himself off as he had been instructed to do, either. He figured it had been a suggestion only, and since this was something that he needed, he disregarded it. He didn’t give a second thought to Snape’s comment about becoming addicted. It just didn’t seem realistic to him at all.

After an unusually bad night, Harry woke up sweating. He was almost afraid to go to sleep that night. He was just so sick of nightmares. He looked over and realized that the potion was nearly gone. Had he only been given so little of it? Or it had really been that long since he’d gotten it? It had to be, what, a month? There should be more.

Shrugging his shoulders, Harry just downed the rest of it without a second thought of how many drops were left or the fact that he wasn’t taking it in anything like Snape had instructed. An extremely deep and dark sleep overtook him almost instantly, and when morning came, he did not wake up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning was a Saturday, and Ron and Harry had plans. To be honest, the redhead was very excited. He and Harry didn’t see each other as much as they usually did, but that wasn’t the reason why he was so anxious. Ron was planning on proposing to Hermione, and he wanted Harry’s opinion on a ring he had spotted before he actually bought it. He knew his girlfriend wasn’t in a hurry to get married, but the timing felt right. They were living together; they were in love. Sure, things weren’t perfect, but nothing ever was. The important thing was that they were perfect for each other.

Ron made his way up to his best friend’s flat and knocked on the door. There was no answer, so he knocked louder. Again, there was no response, so this time, he practically slammed on the door. “Harry, mate,” he yelled. “Open up! Are you asleep?”

One of Harry’s neighbors poked his head out of his front door to say, "Either he isn't home or doesn't want to see you," before slamming the door as he went back inside.

Ron just rolled his eyes. He looked up and down the hallway, making sure it was deserted, before taking his wand muttering “Alohomora.” The door opened. He went inside, locking the door behind him. “Harry, what gives?” Again, there was no answer. Is he seriously still asleep? Walking towards Harry’s bedroom, he opened the door to see his best friend, still unconscious.

Checking his watch, Ron saw that it was noon, and Harry said he had been going to bed early lately though he didn’t say why. Shaking his head, he walked over and shoved him on the shoulder. “Harry, get up, we have things to do.” There was no response. The body on the bed lay still, so Ron shook him again, but harder this time. “Hey, wake up, mate!” Again, no response. It was then that he started to notice him having tremors.

Ron thought it was strange, a little too strange. Harry didn’t sleep this soundly. In fact, he slept a little too lightly. That started to worry him, and the tremors worried him even more. He shook him again, and when that didn’t work, he poured some water on him. That didn’t work, and now he was anxious. He checked Harry’s breathing and his pulse. His pulse was a bit slow, and his breathing was shallow and labored.

Ron’s worry went from slight to extreme almost instantly. He was about to take Harry out of there when he spotted something on the bedside table. He grabbed Harry’s wand, but that wasn’t what had caught his eye. Next to that was a potions vial sitting atop a note. He hadn’t been in Harry’s room lately because he had no reason to be in here on the occasions he did visit Harry. The vial itself was empty, but the note had writing on it, which seemed to be instructions on taking whatever had been in the vial. It said something about a few drops every two or three days and then to wean off it.

Ron recognized the handwriting, too, because he had seen it for six years at Hogwarts. The handwriting belonged to Snape.

Grabbing the vial and the note, as well Harry’s wand, Ron put a spell to make him lighter before taking him to the fireplace and Flooing them both straight into the Hogwarts Infirmary. They gave Madam Pomfrey quite a fright, but she recovered quickly. “Mr. Weasley, what in Merlin’s name are you –“ It was then that she spotted Harry, attached to Ron at the moment and quite unconscious. “Here, this bed. Quickly. Now.” Ron did as he was told, and removed the spell he’d put on him. “What happened?”

Ron shrugged his shoulders. “Dunno. I found him like this at his flat,” he explained. “He’s completely unresponsive, shallow breathing, slow pulse… and I found this.” He showed her the note and vial, starting to feel angrier and angrier with Snape as time went on. “And I recognize the handwriting.”

Pomfrey took the note, looking it over before waving her wand over Harry’s unconscious body. “It might just be a sleeping potion of some sort,” she said. “That would explain why he didn’t wake. Has he taken them before?” Ron nodded. “We need to know what this was and what was in it. It might be something of his own creation. It seems to be an overdose.”

Ron nodded again and knew what to do. Hermione had mentioned her theory of where Snape was, and if she was right, he knew right where to find him. “I’ll handle it. I know what to do.” He went to the Floo and called Hermione first. His girlfriend – and hopefully soon-to-be fiancée – looked worried. She had known he had plans with Harry today.

“Ron, what’s wrong? I thought -” Hermione started to say.

“Something’s wrong with Harry,” Ron interrupted quickly. “Pomfrey thinks he might have overdosed on some sort of sleeping potion. Come here now.”

 Ron hadn’t needed to tell her where, and within a moment, she had walked out of the fireplace. “Ron, what happened? Is he okay? What’s –“

Ron silenced her quickly. “I found him unconscious and unresponsive, and he’s having tremors,” he explained. “He seems to have taken a potion of Snape’s.” He grabbed the note from Pomfrey and showed it to her. “I’m going to go and talk to him now and demand he tell us what it was. Pomfrey thinks it might have been something of his own creation.” He gave his worried girlfriend a kiss before Flooing out to the Leaky Cauldron.

Ron made his way down Diagon Alley and found the shop – The Master’s Shop. If Hermione was right, and she was rarely wrong, this was Snape’s place. He went around back to where the door to his personal rooms would be and began to slam on the door. He almost thought about busting it open but figured that if it was Snape, he was more likely to hex him first and ask questions later.

It took a few minutes but finally, the door opened, and there stood Snape. By now, Ron was absolutely fuming and worried sick about his best friend. Snape was equally furious at being disturbed, but the redhead didn’t let him get a word out. “What did you give him?”

“What in Merlin’s name are you talking about, Weasley?” Snape said, his voice cutting and sharp.

“Harry. You gave him something. I saw the note, and I think I know your handwriting by now,” Ron responded. He held up the vial. “The note went with this. I found him unconscious and completely unresponsive, and Pomfrey said he overdosed on some kind of sleeping potion, most likely one of your own creation. What did you give him?”

Snape swore and ran back inside returning a quick moment later. He was yelling nearly incoherently about an insolent imbecile not following directions. He seemed angrier than he’d seen him in a long time, but Ron didn’t care. It appeared as though Snape was coming with him.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been a long time since Severus Snape had been this angry. It was lucky that there was no one around because if anyone dared to look at him, he was likely to hex them where they stood. He was a bit surprised when Weasley didn’t Apparate away on the spot, but instead turned and walked in the direction of the Leaky Cauldron. If they were headed to St. Mungo’s, it was only logical that they would Apparate away instantly because surely Weasley would want to go to Potter’s side as soon as possible. Where was Potter located then? 

Severus followed Weasley and was surprised when he Flooed to the Hogwarts Infirmary. He followed immediately and was greeted with a sight that he never thought he’d see again. Surely, the days of Hogwarts were behind him but apparently not. Pomfrey was bustling around Potter, who was lying unconscious on a bed. Granger sat in a chair next to the bed, her eyes filled with tears as she looked down at him. Weasley went straight to her side, putting his arm around her though he did not sit down. 

Pomfrey turned to face him. “Severus, pleasure to see you again,” she told him. He merely nodded. 

“Enough with the pleasantries, Poppy,” he snapped. “You want to know what is in the sleeping potion I gave him, yes?” He rattled off the list of ingredients, and the matron nodded. “He had a very specific set of instructions that he obviously did not follow!” His voice rose as he spoke, earning him looks from Weasley and Granger that he promptly ignored. 

“It was a sleeping potion then,” she responded. “I thought as much.” She turned back to her patient. “I have done what I could for him, cleansed his stomach of the potion. He should wake up soon, but there’s no telling of when.” 

“What in the name of Merlin are you doing taking care of Potter?” he demanded. “You are the Hogwarts Matron, not a for-hire nurse!” 

Pomfrey turned to him, one hand on her hips. “I can take care of whoever I damn well please,” she told him. “Besides, they don’t trust St. Mungo’s. Couldn’t have this in the paper, now can we?” She then turned back to Potter. 

Severus rolled his eyes. Why should anyone else care if Potter ended up in the papers? He probably ate up the attention anyway. Sitting down right now was not an option for him, and it seemed it wasn’t for Weasley either. The redhead was shifting from foot to foot while his bushy-haired girlfriend just sat there, distraught at what had happened to her friend. 

“Why did you give Harry that Potion, anyway, Snape?” Weasley piped up. 

Severus leveled him with a furious glare. “Because he paid me, you imbecile,” he sneered. “It is my job.” He hoped that Potter woke up soon because he had a few things he wanted to say to the Golden Boy.  He had already snapped at Pomfrey once, and his friends were certainly on his list. It would be much more fun to yell at Potter, though. “It should have lasted him at least two months!” 

“Is he going to be okay?” Granger said, seemingly ignoring him. 

Pomfrey took a deep sigh. “He will live,” she told him. “I did what I could for the damage what was done, but he’s lucky Mr. Weasley found him when he did. If he had been left too much longer…” She shook her head, and Granger gasped in shock at how dire her friend’s situation could have been. “Luckily the damage wasn’t that severe.” 

“Yes, very lucky for Potter,” Severus said in a mocking tone, “lucky that he had a high-quality potion that I created to not have severe side effects!” 

“Then that most likely saved his life,” Pomfrey said, “since it is probable he was unconscious for quite a while.” 

 _Yes, just another time to add to the list of the many times I’ve saved Potter’s life,_ Severus thought to himself, and the insolent brat probably isn’t even grateful. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry groaned. The first thing he realized upon waking was that he felt horrible, worse than he had in a long time. The second thing was that this was most certainly not his bed though it still seemed familiar. Slowly opening up his eyes, he was greeted with a familiar sight – the Hogwarts Infirmary. “What happened?” 

“Don’t you remember?” Ron asked, and Harry looked over to see his best friend standing at the edge of the bed, his arm around a distraught and teary Hermione. “We had plans, and I went over to wake you up. You didn’t answer, so I let myself in and found you unconscious. Pomfrey said you overdosed on a sleeping potion.” 

Harry groaned again but for an entirely different reason this time. He must have taken more than what Snape told him to. Okay, he knew that he had taken more than what Snape told him to; he had been all month. Last night he must have taken more than just a little bit. He hadn’t even been paying attention; he’d had such a bad day. 

“Harry, if things were that bad, you should have –“  Hermione started, but he didn’t want to hear it. 

“I didn’t do it on purpose!” Harry told her, insulted that she would even insinuate something like that. “It was an accident. I just wasn’t paying attention and accidentally took too much. It was stupid.” 

“Yes, foolish, Potter,” said the scathing and familiar voice of Severus Snape. Harry hadn’t even realized that he was there, standing off to the side. He realized now, though. Within a moment, his former professor was standing over him, a murderous look on his face. “Listen carefully, though I know for you, that is a difficult thing to do. Next time, you’d better hope you are dead because if you’re not, I will end your life myself! If I’m going to go to Azkaban for your death, it will be because I actually killed you, not because you were a dunderhead and overdosed on one of my potions!” 

At that, Snape turned and stalked off towards where the Floo was located. He didn’t blame him for being angry. It hadn’t occurred to Harry that if something had happened to him after he’d taken one of Snape’s potions that his history would make him liable. Harry hadn’t honestly been paying attention last night. He wasn’t given time to think because Hermione spoke again soon afterward. 

“Look, Harry, you’ve been so off lately. Maybe, subconsciously a part of you, you know…” she said, and Harry stared at her as if she’d grown two heads. 

“You can’t be serious, Hermione!” He knew he was yelling at her, but he was so angry at her words he didn’t care right now. “I told you it was an accident! I can’t believe you would think that I would want to kill myself. What in the bloody hell is wrong with you?” His voice had gotten louder and louder as he’d gone on. 

Hermione jerked back like he’d slapped her, her eyes still filled with tears. A second later, she got up and ran towards the Floo. Of course, that made Harry feel even worse, seeing as he’d obviously hurt her feelings. He turned over so that his back was to Ron, hoping that he would just go away. All he wanted right now was to be left alone. 

“Mate, she means well,” Ron told him. “She’s just worried about you, we both are. It was kind of scary seeing you like that this morning.” Harry didn’t respond. “Fine, I’ll leave you be. We’ll be in touch to check up on you.” That angered Harry even further, and he might have said something, but he heard Ron turning and walking away. 

Pomfrey walked up to him then “Now that the distractions are gone… How long have you been taking sleeping potions?” 

Harry shrugged. “On and off since the trials. I went to Snape because they weren’t working, and I thought he could give me something that worked,” he explained. 

“Well, it obviously did,” she responded matter-of-frankly. “Have been experiencing nausea, headaches, paranoia, insomnia, weight loss, anxiety, mood swings, changes in your personality, hallucinations, loss of appetite, confusion, insomnia, a persistent cough?” 

Harry glanced up at her, trying to think if he had been experiencing any of those symptoms. “Er, Ron and Hermione said I'd been off lately, so maybe personality changes… and Insomnia, that’s the whole reason why I needed the potions.” That was part of it anyway; the nightmares were another. 

“Any depression or social issues?” Harry didn’t respond because now that she mentioned, that might be true. It made him feel horrible to think about, and even worse now after how he’d spoken to Hermione. He wanted the floor of the Infirmary to swallow him up whole. Pomfrey asked him some more questions, and he tried answering as truthfully as possible. 

“Well, Potter, it sounds like you’re addicted to sleeping potions,” she told him. 

Harry looked up at her. “What?” That couldn’t be right, but then he remembered what Snape had told him. He felt like a heel now for disobeying his orders on how to take the potion. 

“Addicted, Potter, you’re addicted,” she told him. “You’ll need to wean yourself off of them, slowly. You need to get help, Potter.” Harry avoided her gaze, pulling the covers up higher to try and hide himself. “You can stay the night, like before, but you need to leave in the morning. Take it easy for a few days. If you start feeling worse, go into St. Mungo’s.” 

Harry knew he had to be pretty bad off for her to suggest that, but then again, she had suggested that last time he’d been here, too.  He wasn’t sure if he’d been worse off because it seemed as if he’d almost died both times. He knew he didn’t sleep that night, but he drifted off a little bit. He woke in the morning, feeling no better than he had before. He left, using the Floo to go home. 

As soon as he got home, Harry tried eating, but he didn’t feel like it. Deciding to crawl into bed, he wanted to sleep to overtake him, but it didn’t come, so he just laid there. He kept thinking about Pomfrey’s words. He was addicted to sleeping potions. How could this have happened? What kind of person gets addicted to something like that? It wasn’t as if he was the only person who took them. Loads of people did, right? 

Harry also thought about the look on Hermione’s face after he’d yelled at her. She had seemed so worried, and what had he done? He’d yelled at her when she was only trying to help. She cared about him, was one of his best friends. Ron had seemed worried about him, too. Had he really gotten that bad? He had been so sure that all he wanted was to sleep. Was there a part of him that maybe had actually wanted to overdose, to make the nightmares end for good? 

Harry didn’t get up at all that day, only getting up to use the loo. He used his wand to get anything he wanted to drink or eat though he didn’t eat much. The next day, he planned on doing the same thing. He couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed. Sometime that evening, Ron and Hermione came over, Flooing in. They found him lying on the bed where he’d been for the past two days. 

“Harry, are you alright?” Hermione asked concern etched in her voice. “Have you gotten up at all?” He was pretty sure that she could tell by looking that he hadn’t. 

“Can you go and make him something to eat, Hermione? I got this,” Ron told her, waving her out of the room. Ron was taller than him, always had been, and so he dragged Harry out of bed and to the bathroom. “Take a shower, mate. You’ll feel better. We’ll be in the living room when you get done.” 

Harry decided not to fight them and did as he was told. He took a shower and put on some fresh clothes. When he was done, he found Ron and Hermione sitting on the couch, a plate of food on the table in front of them. He sat down beside Ron, not looking either of them in the eye. 

“Harry, you need to get out of the house,” Hermione told him, “or at least out of bed! This is not good for you; it’s not healthy. Are you feeling okay?” 

Harry just took a deep breath. “Apparently, I’m addicted to sleeping potions.” 

Hermione gasped, and Ron looked equally shocked. “I did try to warn you –“ 

Ron stopped Hermione before she could continue. “Look, sitting around feeling sorry for yourself isn’t going to make you any less addicted,” he told him. “You need to do something about it!” 

Harry just sat there, grabbing a piece of cheese off of the plate. “I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” They both nodded, and for a while, the group just sat around in silence. Hermione took the remote control and turned on the television, but soon, Ron had it, always fascinated with it just like his dad was about everything Muggle. He didn’t feel any better, but it was nice just to hang out with them. After a couple of hours, the couple got up to leave. 

“Look, I’m sorry about what I said the other day,” she told him. “I didn’t mean to say that you were suicidal; I was just worried!” 

Harry nodded. “I know, and I shouldn’t have snapped at you. It was a lot to take in okay?” He was honestly still a bit upset with her, but he knew that she meant well, and honestly, he was too upset with himself to make a big deal out of it. 

“Do something for yourself, mate, all right?” Ron said, and that was the last thing he heard before they both Flooed home. 

Harry went to bed soon afterward, but his sleep was uneasy.  He woke up in the middle of the night, screaming, and slept on and off after that. The next morning, he managed to eat some breakfast but found himself on the couch for most of the rest of the day. The longer he sat there, the longer he dwelled on what Ron had told him yesterday. He was right – he did need to do something. They were both right in the fact that he needed to get out of the house. 

What was he supposed to do, though? 

Pomfrey said he needed to wean himself off. He didn’t think regular potions would work, though. His only other option was to go crawling back to Snape and hope he didn’t shut the door in his face.  He couldn’t think of any other way to help himself. He couldn’t just sit around feeling sorry for himself. That was no way to live. What if Snape said no?

Harry decided that was a chance that he needed to take. That potion that Snape made worked better than anything else had, well… ever. He had to make the man see that he could be trusted. Surely there was some way that they could come to an agreement. It wasn’t as if money was an object. Harry inherited plenty of money from his parents and Sirius so he could pay him whatever he wanted.

Harry took a deep breath and got dressed. He walked out the front door, walked down to the first floor and outside. From there, he went to the alley outside of his flat building where he Apparated to Diagon Alley. He made his way to Snape’s shop, his heart beating faster with every second. He fully believed that he would get the door shut his face. He had no idea what he was going to do if Snape said no.

Harry went around to the back and prepared to knock.  His fist stopped inches from the door, and he almost turned around and left. _You’re a Gryffindor,_ he told himself. Where’s your Gryffindor courage? With that, he knocked on the door, hoping that when Snape answered, this didn’t end up being for naught.


	4. Chapter 4

Nothing. Harry frowned, looking at the door, but no sound came from inside. Was he home? He doubted that Snape was someone who went out a lot, so he figured he was home. Then again, he could be out buying potions ingredients or something…  Looking around, Harry debated on whether or not to knock again. Deciding that he needed to do this, he knocked again. This time, the door opened. “You dare show up here, Potter?” Snape practically yelled at him. Harry jerked back slightly. “Leave now and do not come back!” With that, the older man made to shut the door in his face. Harry knew that he couldn’t let that happen because he’d come here for a reason. 

Harry reached out and put his hands on the door to stop it from closing on him, but Snape was surprisingly strong. “Please, look, I’m sorry, okay?” Harry pleaded as he tried to keep the door from shutting in his face. “Just hear me out.” Harry’s apology seemed to have taken Snape by surprise, because he stopped, opening up the door. He crossed his arms and glared down at him. Harry was suddenly very aware of how tall he was with the former professor standing within a couple of feet of him, staring down at him. Harry wasn’t exactly short, but neither was he tall. Snape was easily several inches taller than him. He was taller than Ron, and Ron had four inches on him. “You were right. I am addicted. Pomfrey said I need to wean myself off,” he explained. “What happened was an accident, but your potion was the best I’ve taken. I feel if I’m going to do this at all that I need yours. Please, I’ll… pay you more!” 

Harry was sure that the promise of more money would work, and he didn’t say that Snape was right very often, either. “I do not care about your problems, Potter,” Snape said scathingly. “Now, go away and leave me alone.” He was wrong. 

Harry knew that if he didn’t act quickly, the door would be shut in his face, and Snape wasn’t likely to open it up again for him. Immediately, he reached out, holding the door in place before Snape had a chance to shut it. “Please, I’m sorry, okay? It was stupid. It was an accident, and it won’t happen again, I swear.”  Harry could see Snape hesitating, which he felt didn’t bode well for him. “I’ll pay you double, at least!” 

That did it. Snape gave up, moving aside and gave a sharp gesture towards the stairs. Harry nodded his thanks and made his way up. He could hear Snape following him up. Snape motioned for him to sit on the couch, and Harry did as he was told, taking the far left end. The older man went to his desk, grabbed a stack of parchment, a quill and sat on the far opposite end of the couch from where Harry was. 

Harry cleared his throat. “So, how –“ 

Snape cut him off. “You need to be weaned off. I suggest over three months in a similar schedule to what I gave you before,” he said quickly. 

Harry nodded. “Okay, that’s fair,” he told him. “I’ll just make sure and follow it this time.” He was under the impression he would be getting the entire supply – or, at least, part of it – all at once. He was wrong once again. 

“I think not, Potter,” Snape replied. “You will come here for each dosage. After your last display, I think you have more than proved that you can’t be trusted.” 

“You really want me over here that often?” Harry asked before he could stop himself. “I mean, in the beginning, that means we’re going to be seeing a lot of each other.” 

The potions master scoffed. “Of course not,” he told him. “This is a business arrangement, Potter. I cannot trust that you will take them as instructed, so I will give you no more than what you need.” 

Harry knew that he was not going to win that argument, but it wasn’t his nature to let Snape win. “That’s fair,” was all he said as he leaned back into the corner of the couch. He hated to admit it, but he had a point. It might be best not to give him more than he needed. With that, though, a deep feeling of guilt and shame swept over him at the realization of why he was here. 

Snape was right not to trust him. 

Harry brought himself back to the present as Snape showed him another piece of parchment, this one detailing the schedule with which he should come over. It had today’s date as the first dose and showed each date over the next three months that he should come over, as well as the dosage that he’d receive that day. He nodded, as it looked pretty sound to him. 

Snape nodded in response, and then went on to writing. He slipped over the first page of the contract again, and this time it had added a part about payment. Harry gaped at the number. It had to be at least three times higher than what he should be paying for it, if not more. There was no way it was right. “Is the original paper still on your desk?” His former teacher nodded. Harry went up and retrieved it. He then did the math to make sure it added up and showed it to Snape. 

“Really, charging me nearly four times what I paid you for the first one?” Harry asked him, eyebrows raised. 

Snape’s eyes narrowed. “That is what I am asking for.” Harry shook his head, and redid his math, and then showed Snape a new number. It was more than twice what he had paid before but still lower than what Snape had wanted. He showed the paper to him. “Fine, that is acceptable.” Some people were still bound to think that it was too high, but then again, no one else would find out how much Harry was paying him for this. He saw Snape looking over the contract and changing his amount to Harry’s. 

Harry had won one argument against Snape, and since that didn’t happen very often, he was rather pleased with himself. He quickly brought himself back to the present, though, and looked at the next part of the payment section of the contract. Snape wanted all the money up front? No. “I don’t think so,” he said pointing to the offending section. “All the money up front? You can’t be serious. “ He figured that Snape would just tear up the contract and take his money. “I’ll pay you every week.” 

Snape sneered at that. “I think not,” he said. “Half now and half later.” 

Harry thought over that, and then decided he could give Snape that one. “Fine.” He took it back and quickly scribbled down the following line: _Severus Snape is in no way responsible for anything Harry Potter may do. He is only responsible for giving him the potion on the specified days– no more, no less._ He showed Snape the paper, and he nodded. 

“I think we have an agreement,” Snape said, before signing the bottom of the contract, and then sliding the paper across the table to Harry. He signed it right next to his. He wondered if he was going to end up regretting this later, getting into a contract with Severus Snape of all people. It wasn’t like he had much of a choice at the moment, though. He didn’t want to be addicted forever. “Wait here. I will return with your first dosage shortly.” 

“That’s fine, I need to get your first payment,” Harry told him, and with that, he left. He made his way straight for Gringotts and got out the first half of the payment. He put it in a bag that he had brought specifically for this – anticipating that Snape would want money now – and then shrunk it. He made his way back to Snape’s. The door opened almost instantly, and he was holding a vial in his hand as well as a copy of the contract. 

At first, it didn’t look like there was any liquid in it, and then Harry remembered that it was only a few drops. He took the vial and the contract, then handed Snape the money. “See you in two days, Potter,” he said, before slamming the door in his face. 

Harry stood there for a second, before rolling his eyes, and then Apparating back to the alley near his flat. He made his way up to his flat. He made himself a light dinner and listened to some music – Zeromancer and Linkin Park were what he was feeling right now – before going to bed early. Snape’s potion worked wonders, and he felt better the next morning. A good night’s sleep could do that, he supposed. It wasn’t long after he finished cleaning up from breakfast when he heard someone Flooing into the living room. He walked in and saw Luna Lovegood standing there. A small smile broke across Harry’s face, and he walked over, giving her a small hug. “Good to see you, Harry,” she said in her dreamy voice. 

“Good to see you, too, Luna,” he told her. “How have you been?” 

“Just fine, Harry,” she told him. “I just got back from Greece.” She then went on about what she found there, and he barely understood any of it. He just nodded and smiled as they went to sit down on the couch. He listened politely, though, until she grabbed the remote control off the table. 

Harry tried to reach for it first once he saw what she was doing, but he failed. A groan escaped his lips. Luna and the television were dangerous. “Luna, please…” It was too late. She was already clicking in between channels faster than Harry could see. He tried to reach out and take it from her, but she was too fast for him. He used to be a seeker and should be able to catch a remote control from Luna, but he couldn’t. 

Every time Harry reached for it, Luna would move it out of her way. “Luna, just stop,” he told her after about twenty minutes of this. She never focused on one channel, but instead on going in between them quickly.  It was extremely annoying, but no matter how hard Harry tried, he couldn’t get the remote control from her.  He should have expected it because this happened every time she came over.

The first time Luna had ever come over, she been transfixed by the ‘muggle moving picture box.' He had found it amusing at first, to let her play with the remote control, but it soon became less amusing. She couldn’t stay at one channel and actually watch a show. She had stayed for about six hours the first time and hadn’t changed much since. 

After a while, Harry gave up and just let her switch. Luna was still going on about the recent things she’d seen in what countries on her travels. It was fun to hear her talk about it, even if he didn’t really understand what she was talking about. He noticed then, after about an hour of her being there that she hadn’t once asked how he was. 

“So, have you seen Ron and Hermione lately?” Luna asked, still switching channels. 

Harry nodded. “Yeah, they were by yesterday,” he told her. 

“Good, I should drop by and see them,” she told him. “Is Ginny away at a game?” 

“I think so,” Harry replied. “I’m honestly not sure. You should ask them; they would know.” In his defense, he had been a mess lately. “Ginny’s away a lot, though.” 

It went on like that for a while. Luna would ask random questions, none of which seemed to matter about anything. She continually flipped through the channels and would move out of Harry’s way if he tried to take it from her. Any “Stick with one channel, please, Luna,” comments were ignored. 

“Do you want some lunch?” Harry asked when lunchtime rolled around. 

“Sure, that sounds great.” 

Harry got up and made them some sandwiches, bringing them out and setting them on the coffee table. He couldn’t even look at the television. It was only when she started eating that she had stopped flipping channels. He quickly tried to take the remote, but Luna moved it out of his way. He decided to let her have it. She wasn’t here that often anyway. 

“Ron and Hermione told me what happened,” Luna said out of the blue. It was only then that Harry realized in the hours that she’d been here, she hadn’t mentioned it once. He had noticed that she hadn’t asked how he was. 

“I thought so,” he told her, “but you didn’t ask me how I was or anything.” 

Luna shrugged. “It should be obvious that you’re not alright, Harry, no one should expect you to be.” Harry smiled at her. It was refreshing to hear that someone didn’t expect him to be okay. “You’ve been through a lot. We all have.” She ate a bit more before continuing. “Are you getting help?” 

Harry nodded. “Yeah, Snape and I sort of have this agreement,” he explained. “His potions are really the only ones that work, so we came up with a mutually beneficial arrangement. He gives me what I need, and I pay him more than it’s worth.” 

Luna nodded. “I suppose that makes sense,” she said. 

“Yeah, Pomfrey said that I have to wean myself off, so…” He shrugged. “That’s what I’m trying to do.” 

“It won’t be easy, but at least you’re trying,” Luna said. “There are a lot of people who don’t.” 

The conversation changed after that, and Luna went back to talking about her work or something her dad was doing at the Quibbler.  Of course, she had control of the television which she never let go of. The longer she went on, though, the more resentful he became. She was so happy, and it annoyed him because there was nothing happy about his life at all. She left after another hour or so, and Harry cleaned up before going back to watch television. 

It was nearing dinner time, and Harry decided to make himself some chicken. He did a sauce, some vegetables, and some potatoes. It was nearing completion, but the potatoes needed more time. It was then that he heard the Floo. _Who could it be now?_ He thought to himself. He went out into the living room, and there was Neville Longbottom – his second visitor of the day. 

“Hey, Harry, it’s been a while,” Neville said. 

“Yeah, it has. Take a seat, Neville,” Harry told him. “How are you?” 

They both took a seat on the couch after Harry got them both something to drink. “I’m good,” he said. It was then that Harry noticed that his friend seemed to be bouncing up and down. He was really excited about something. Harry was about to ask when Neville decided to tell him what he was so happy about. “Okay, I have to tell you something. You are looking at – as of next fall – the new Herbology Professor at Hogwarts.” 

Harry once again felt the resentment creeping in, but he kept it out of his voice. “Congrats, Neville,” he told him. “Aren’t you a little young, though?” 

Neville shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, I suppose,” he told him. “I was honestly surprised that I got the job, you know, because of my age. I guess my interview with McGonagall went pretty well. I really wanted this job, you know? I’d be really good at it.” 

“Apparently, McGonagall thought so, too,” Harry told him, trying to keep his voice even. He was truly happy for Neville, really he was. It was just that, after hearing Luna talk for hours about her great life, his level of tolerance was a bit lower. He was in a better mood today, though, because he had slept well. It was hard to hear his friends talk about how great their lives were when he had nothing to talk about in return.  “What about your job as an Auror?” 

“Quitting, of course,” Neville told him. “I plan on telling them tomorrow. I’m going to go ahead and just put in my two weeks’ notice because I want to make sure I can devote plenty of time to doing the proper lesson plans and all that.” 

Harry nodded. It made sense to him. It was then that he remembered his food. “I was just making some dinner, do you want some? There’s plenty.” 

“Sure, that sounds great.” 

Harry got the dinner ready and brought it out for Neville. “So, I guess you’re the youngest teacher since… Snape, right?” Harry asked. 

Neville nodded. “Yeah, I suppose so,” he said. “This is great, by the way.” 

“Thank you.” Harry was a pretty good cook. He had cooked for the Dursley’s more than just a few times and cooked for himself all the time since he had moved out.

 “So, how have you been?” Neville asked.

 Harry knew that had been coming. “Ron and Hermione told you what happened, didn’t they?” Neville nodded. “Yeah, Luna was by earlier, so I figured.” 

“Oh, yeah? How is she?” 

“She’s good,” Harry said. “She seems really happy with her job.” 

Neville nodded. “That’s good. I’m happy for her.” Neville and Luna had dated for a year or so after the end of the war but had broken up. Luna traveled too much for her job as a wizarding naturalist, and with Neville’s job as an Auror, it was hard on them. They decided to break up but remained good friends. 

Harry just nodded but knew that Neville would want more information, so they talked; he filled him in him on his contract with Snape. His friend didn’t seem that skeptical of it or anything and Harry realized then that he hadn’t told Ron and Hermione. He made a mental note to Floo them and tell them. 

Neville and Harry finished their food, the conversation turning to other things – the latest Quidditch matches, the goings on of the Ministry and such. “Oh, yeah,” Neville said, piping up. “I met someone.” 

Harry again felt a bit of resentment. Harry hadn’t dated anyone since Ginny, especially since he had been dealing with a rather a lot, too. He pushed it back. “Who?” 

“Hannah Abbott, remember her? Our year, Hufflepuff?” Harry nodded. “We ran into each other a couple of months back.“ Had it really been that long since he and Neville had talked? “I’ve been so busy lately, but… she’s just amazing. So smart, kind, and patient… I’m really excited about this, you know?" 

“I’m happy for you, Neville,” Harry responded, and truly, he was. He was just having a hard time feeling it right now. 

“Yeah, she’s meeting Gran this weekend and is a bit nervous,” Neville said. 

“I can imagine.” The conversation turned back to mundane things until Neville realized it was getting late, and decided to head off home. After he had left, he Flooed Ron and Hermione and filled them in on his deal with Snape. They were a bit wary, but it seemed to pass, and they were happy he was getting help. He slept uneasily that night and was grateful when the next day came – it was time for another dose of the potion from Snape.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Ticia for her suggestion with Rita Skeeter.

As soon as Harry woke up the next day, he wanted to run right to Snape’s apothecary and get the potion now, almost as if having it would automatically make him feel better. That was ridiculous, though. So, he made breakfast and watched some television. The Daily Prophet came, but he was not in the mood for reading the paper, so he just set it on the table and left it there. Then, he made some lunch and read a book. He was starting to get anxious. He wanted to go and get the potion, to give him some peace of mind. After a while of sitting there, fidgeting, he just couldn’t stand it anymore. He needed to go and get it, if for any reason than it would be over with. He would have it, and then Snape wouldn’t have to worry about it. 

Harry walked out of his flat, the copy of the Prophet forgotten on his table. A couple of other letters had come as well, but he hadn’t read those either. He had forgotten about them and hadn’t even glanced at the headline. He continued out of the building, and to the alley outside it. In a moment, he was in Diagon Alley. He made his way to the shop and knocked on the back door just as he always had. After a few moments, the door opened, and there was Snape, glaring down at him.

“You’re early,” Snape told him matter-of-factly. 

Harry furrowed his brows, confused. “I am?” He hadn’t realized he was earlier than he had come over the last time. Yes, he had thought about waiting until later. He knew that Snape worked, but he hadn’t thought that this classified as ‘early.' “I’ll try to come over later then.” He thought about making a comment that they hadn’t discussed times, just dates but kept that to himself. Pissing Snape off probably wasn’t the best way to go about things right now. 

“Yes, you are, but don’t bother leaving. Since you’re here, we might as well get this over with.” Snape directed him up the stairs and told him he’d be up there shortly. True to his word, he followed him a short time later. He had a vial in his hand. He went over to presumably get the potion from his bedroom, which is where he got it from the first time. “Oh, you made the front page today, Potter.” 

Harry frowned, and he remembered the paper that it was still lying on his table – untouched. Snape threw the paper in front of him before walking off. Curious, Harry picked it up and gasped in shock as he read the title.

 **Harry Potter’s Great Addiction  
** By Rita Skeeter

“What the –” Harry wondered if Snape had actually read the article or if he’d just saw his name and rolled his eyes – probably the latter.

Harry Potter defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and is  
considered a hero by many. However, he may not be as  
perfect as he wants everyone to believe. He is, in fact,  
harbouring a dark secret – he has a serious addiction to  
sleeping potions and has for quite some time. This is  
combined with a deep depression, as well as  
post-traumatic stress disorder stemming from the war.  
Potter is a very troubled man.

“Bloody hell!” Harry continued reading. Skeeter basically said that he was a serious addict who needed them to get by. He was also, apparently, paying quite handsomely to continue fueling his addiction. She went on to say how her sources had uncovered that he was paying ex-Death Eater Severus Snape to give him what he needed. He didn’t believe for a second that any of his friends or Pomfrey would have said anything, and Snape most certainly wouldn’t have. 

The more of the article Harry read – which went into great detail about how horrible things were with him and how screwed up he was – the more angry and upset it made him. Once he got to the end, he could barely see straight. Before he could stop himself, he started tearing the paper into little pieces. That attracted Snape’s attention, but Harry didn’t hear what he was saying. Harry also wasn’t aware that he was speaking as though his lips were moving and sounds were coming out. 

The words had started along the lines of “Why, why me? Why can’t she leave me alone? I just want to be left alone!” By the time the paper had been completely shredded, the words were no longer understandable. Tears were now streaming down Harry’s face, and his voice was getting louder and louder. He put his hands on his head and started rocking back forth. He was no longer completely aware of what he was doing or what was going on around him. His movements got sharper, and his voice got louder and more distraught. The tears didn’t stop but continued flowing down his face. 

Harry didn’t know what he looked like, and even if he realized what he was doing, he wouldn’t know how to stop. He just kept rocking back and forth on Snape’s couch, screaming and crying and pulling at his hair. 

“Harry!” 

The voice came from somewhere, but the use of his first name startled him. Harry blinked, trying to clear the tears from his eyes, and looked up. Snape was kneeling in front of him, one hand on his shoulder as if he had tried to shake him out of it. Harry hadn’t even noticed that he had been that close, let alone touched him. Now that his mind was clearing a bit, he realized that Snape had probably been saying his name – well, his last name – for some time, trying to get him to snap out of the… breakdown. That’s what that was right, a breakdown? 

Harry had just had a breakdown in Snape’s living room. 

Shame washed over him, and he quickly leaned back, wiping off his face with his hand. Now that he was calming down from it, he suddenly became aware of the tightening and pain in his chest. He gripped at his chest with one hand as panic started to wash over him. In all the emotion he’d been experiencing earlier, he hadn’t even noticed that he was having an attack. It made sense, though, because he always got them during times of extreme emotion. 

Snape was suddenly not there anymore though Harry couldn’t register where he went. He came back a short while later, right as Harry was sure that he was going to have a heart attack right here or stop breathing. Neither of these was good options, as he was not looking to die at the age of twenty. “Drink this. Now.” It was a command. For some reason, Harry obeyed without question and downed it. He recognized it instantly as the potion he took for his chest. How would Snape have known about that? 

“Another, pay attention!” It was Snape’s voice again, and there was another vial. He took it, and it seemed familiar, but he couldn’t place it. “Calming Draught, you need it.” Harry nodded, and now his panic and the pain his chest were both subsiding. Snape left again, and a glass soon appeared in front of him, with some amber liquid inside of it. “Brandy. You need it.” 

Harry nodded and took it. “I’m sorry.” Snape didn’t respond, and Harry looked up at him. “You used my first name.” 

Snape shrugged. “I had no choice; you were not responding to anything else I said.” 

“How did you know what to give me for my chest?” 

Snape scoffed. “Do you really think that Madam Pomfrey would know how to fix the effects of dark magic such as that?” As soon as he said it, Harry realized that he probably shouldn’t have assumed that. “I’m the one that told her what to do, Potter! She Flooed me when the Weasley’s and Granger brought you in. She told me what happened and what your symptoms were. I told her the most likely cause and how to fix it. She wouldn’t have known what to do on her own.” His voice said to suggest otherwise meant that you were a moron. 

Harry nodded, still reeling a bit from everything that had happened. “Sorry about the paper. I don’t –“ 

“Quit apologizing.” 

Harry nodded. A few moments later, there was a vial on the table in front of him. Snape had kept his distance since bringing him the potions. “Thank you.” Snape nodded. Harry got up, leaving the untouched glass of brandy on the table and made to leave. “You know, it seems kind of silly to keep using my last name. I mean, it’s not as if you don’t know my first. You’ve already used it, too, so…” Harry shrugged, turning back to him, a lopsided grin on his face as he tried to ease some of the tension in the room. “It just seems a bit weird, is all. I mean, we’re going to be dealing a lot with each other.” 

Snape rolled his eyes. “Get out of my flat, Potter.” 

Harry just continued grinning at him, eager to forget, at least temporarily, the shame and humiliation he felt right now. “Just say my first name again, and I’m gone.” He knew that the older wizard hated it when he was sassy to him like this, but honestly, the man asked for it sometimes. 

“Potter –“ 

“Just once.” 

Snape groaned. “Fine, you insolent brat,” he drawled. “Goodbye, Harry.” He said his name with such thick sarcasm that Harry hadn’t even realized it was possible to say a name like that – intense hatred sure, that was a norm for them. 

Harry couldn’t help it, but a light laugh escaped his lips. He didn’t truly feel better, but some of the tension and shame had dissipated a bit. “Goodbye, Severus.” He knew that would piss him off, so he made sure he had his vial and made his way out before anything else could happen. He had tried to match the man’s sarcasm and drawl, and he knew he’d failed quite miserably. 

Harry made his way back home to his flat, and it wasn’t empty. Ron and Hermione were standing there, concern etched on their faces.  “Where have you been?” Hermione cried. “We sent you letters from work because we couldn’t leave or Floo you, but you never responded!” 

Harry let out a groan. “I didn’t look at them, sorry,” he said, honestly. 

They both shared a look. “So, you didn’t see the article,” Ron said. 

Harry’s shame and humiliation came back full force, and he struggled to keep his emotions at bay. “No, I saw it,” he said darkly. “I saw it at Snape’s.” 

“Are you alright?” Hermione asked. 

Harry shrugged his shoulders and sat down the couch. “I’ll be okay.” He didn’t want to admit to them what had happened when Snape had shown him the article. Then, something occurred to him – had Ron and Hermione known that Snape had told Pomfrey how to heal his chest? “Hey, wait, why didn’t you tell me?” 

Ron and Hermione shared a look; both seemed to be equally confused. “Tell you what?” Ron asked. 

“Snape. That Pomfrey Flooed him, and he told her how to help me with this,” he said, putting his hand on his chest. 

They shared another look, neither seemed to have any idea what he was talking about. “We didn’t know,” Ron said honestly.

“Of course!” Hermione said as if something had clicked for her. “Who else would she have contacted? Pomfrey would have known that with Snape’s knowledge of the dark arts and potions that he would easily know how to help Harry.” Her brows furrowed in confusion. “He told you that? Why?” 

Harry realized only then that he had talked himself into a corner. They wouldn’t buy that Snape had just come forward with that information. He sighed. “I may have had an attack while over there, and when I asked how he knew what to give me, he told me.” He saw the looks of concern and pity cross their faces, and he quickly brushed it off. “I’ll be okay, I promise. I just want to be alone.” 

Ron and Hermione nodded. “Okay, Harry, but if you need anything, even if you just want someone to sit with you, just call Neville or us okay?” Hermione told him. Luna was usually out of town, or she probably would have been added to the list.

Harry just nodded, but the next moment, he felt a slap on his arm and saw Hermione standing there, her hands on her hips. “What in the bloody hell was that for?”

“You forgot the anti-animagus wards when you put your wards up.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. “How do you think she got the information? Some of that she would have had to be in here for.”

The look on Harry’s face said that he had indeed forgotten. “I’ll put them up after you leave.” There was no use in feeling sorry for it now, but she seemed satisfied now.

“Merlin, that Skeeter woman is such a fucking bitch,” Ron said as he walked over to the table, taking the paper and crumpling it. All Harry and Hermione could do was nod, because he wasn’t wrong. She was a bitch. However, it had been such a random comment that before any of the knew it, Hermione started to giggle. Ron looked at her strangely, but it set Harry off, too. Soon enough, all three of them were just laughing their arses off.

It subsided quickly enough, but it did the job of loosening the tensions a bit. Hermione gave him a hug before she and Ron left. He did just as he said he would, too, and found the spell for the anti-animagus wards and put them up so that Rita Skeeter wouldn’t be able to get information from his private home ever again. 

Harry picked up the paper once he sat down again and burned it with a flick of his wand. The letters he didn’t open, but as he held them something clicked – Andromeda and Teddy. She would have seen the article, and it had been at least two months since he’d been over there. His visits over the past year had lessened as his issues had gotten worse. He would have to contact her to tomorrow, go see Teddy. He was his godfather, after all, and he would not turn absentee. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night, Severus Snape was sitting in front of his fire, a bottle of brandy sitting on the table next to him. He had been thinking about Potter all day, and that was not something he enjoyed doing. He had been distracted through the rest of his work that day, thinking about Potter’s rather intense reaction to the paper. He had been trying to get a rise out of him, poking at the fact that he couldn’t do anything without getting his picture in the paper. He hadn’t bothered to look at the headline. He’s simply seen the words “Harry Potter,” and thrown it off to the side. He had no interest in reading about the Wizarding World’s Golden Boy. As if Potter needed more of an ego boost! 

Severus had been proven very wrong today, and it bothered him more than anything. He was not wrong, at least not very often. He was always so sure about Potter, his personality, his behavior… In school, he’d been a copy of his father, strutting around and acting like he’d owned the place – that rules were beneath him. He hadn’t thought much when Potter had told him that he had nightmares. He’d find him even more of a fool if he didn’t have them, and he chalked up the overdose to being moronic and taking too much when he didn’t need to. 

He was fairly certain that wasn’t the case now. 

The display that Potter had put on today was… disturbing to say the least. At first, he had thought that he might be throwing a hissy fit with the tearing up of his paper. It wasn’t like he had really wanted to read it anyway, but occasionally he liked to glance through it, if for any reason than to see how badly things were in the world. Of course, Potter’s display had gotten worse, and continued with screaming, crying, unintelligible babble, and rocking back and forth. 

Severus had tried to snap him out of it by speaking to him, but that hadn’t worked. He’d moved on to trying to shake him out of it, but throughout the entire ordeal, Potter hadn’t seemed to even realize that he was there.  He never seemed to realize where he was or what he was doing. That was when he’d resorted to using the man’s first name – something he had never done, ever.  It had worked, though, completely shocking him out of his breakdown. 

Since Potter left, Severus had found himself thinking little of anything else. He found himself curious as to how someone like him – who seemed to have everything – could turn into the broken man he had seen today. He had brushed off the addiction and the nightmares, but the addiction had been hard to ignore when he’d witnessed it first-hand. Depression seemed to be the likely cause, and it was clear that he could also have post-traumatic stress, as well.  Severus knew better than anyone the effects that surviving a war could have on someone. 

Severus would not tip-toe around the boy just because he had issues. No one escaped a war unscathed, and to think so was ridiculous. Some were worse than others, and it was clear that Potter had been damaged a bit more than he would have thought. 

Severus poured himself another glass as he brooded some more on what had transpired today. He remembered the smile that Potter had given him before leaving. The sudden change in attitude had been sharp. Had he been faking it or just doing it to annoy him? Possibly a combination of both, and that was when Severus decided he was sick and tired of thinking about Harry Potter. It bothered him that he was curious about what had gotten him to this point – and he was curious. The breakdown this afternoon had made sure of that. 

Severus downed his glass of brandy and made for his bed. He promised himself the next time that Potter came over for his next dose, he would give the dosage to him and then kick his arse out.


	6. Chapter 6

Harry awoke the next morning, feeling better - as he always did right after he took the potions from Snape. He knew he would need to speak to Andromeda today. He knew she was going to be mad at him for him being absent for the past two months. There was no excuse, and he knew that. He would not be absent in Teddy’s life, so he would start making up for it.

Harry made himself some breakfast, and the steeled himself for what was to come.

Harry went to his fireplace and Flooed Andromeda. She was there, of course, and crossed her arms over her chest as soon as she saw him. “So, you have finally decided to grace us with your presence?”

Yes, she was not happy, and he didn’t blame her. “I’m sorry,” he told her. “We need to talk.”

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with that article that the Prophet posted yesterday, would it?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, that’s part of it.” She let him through. She stood there, waiting for him as he dusted himself off. “Where’s Teddy?”

“Upstairs, playing in his room.”

Harry nodded. “Look, I’m sorry about not being around at all recently. There’s no excuse,” he told her. “The last year few years have not been easy for me, but the last year has been even harder. That article had some truth to it.” He explained that he had become addicted to Sleeping Potions, how they had stopped working, and how that had led him to Snape. He told her about the overdose, and how that had led him to his contract with Snape.

Andromeda just listened. She nodded once he was done. “Go and see your godson, Harry,” she told him, her tone firm, her arms still crossed over her chest. “We’ll talk later. I just want you to keep something in mind, though - I understand what you’re going through, but Teddy is a toddler. He doesn’t, and I have no explanation as to why you’re not there. He asks about you, and I can’t tell him anything. Remus and Dora wanted you to be his godfather, not his friend, not ‘big brother’ and not the ‘fun uncle.'”

Harry nodded. “I know.” With that, he made his way up to Teddy’s room.

Once there, he knocked on the door and let himself in. There was his godson playing on the floor with both Muggle and magical toys alike, his hair currently a bright shade of blue. As soon as the door opened, the three-year-old looked up. He gave a bright smile and then ran over to him as Harry took him in his arms. “I missed you, Harry!”

“I know, Teddy, I’m sorry,” he told him. “I’ll be around more from now on, I promise.”

“Where have you been?”

How was he supposed to answer that question? Harry decided with a grain of the truth. “I haven’t been well lately, but I’m getting better,” he told him. _Or trying to,_ he thought to himself. Teddy seemed satisfied, though, and asked him if he wanted to play with him. “Sure.”

Teddy started showing him every toy he owned though Harry had already seen most of them. He just let him go on, doing exactly what Teddy wanted him to do when he told him how to play with a toy. They would play with a couple of toys for a while, and he would get distracted or bored so that they would move on. The toddler seemed to enjoy having Harry there.

They had played for the rest of the morning before Andromeda said that lunch was ready. Harry hadn’t even realized what time it was, but his stomach sure knew now. Teddy ran down the stairs, and Harry had to call to him not to run. They had some sandwiches and fruit, and the toddler was ready for more playing. Harry was exhausted already. His energy was draining. He couldn't imagine Andromeda having to deal with him all the time.

Andromeda told Teddy it was time for his afternoon nap, though. He groaned, but Harry volunteered to put him down. He took the toddler upstairs and put him to bed. Or tried to. Teddy did not want to go down, and it took Harry a while to finally get him to sleep - namely a few stories before the blue-haired toddler would finally go down.

Harry trudged down the stairs. He loved Teddy to pieces, but the little boy was physically and emotionally draining. He went to find Andromeda and found her sitting in her living room sipping tea. “He’s down,” he told her taking the seat next to her. He saw a cup for him sitting on the table in between them. He picked it up and took a sip. “He is draining.”

“Try being with him full time,” she responded. Harry nodded but did not respond. “We need to talk.”

Harry nodded. “I promise I’ll try to be around more often,” he said. He knew he’d said that already.

Andromeda nodded. “I appreciate that, but don’t make promises you can’t keep."

“I’ll keep it. I promise,” he told her. “This past year… has been hard on me.”

“I know, Harry, and the past few years have not been easy on me, either.” She fixed him with a look, one that he couldn’t decipher. “Perhaps… no. You need to do something for yourself and only yourself.” He didn’t respond, and he couldn't look at her in the eye, either, because he knew she was right. He was tired of hearing it from Ron and Hermione, but he couldn’t get mad at Andromeda. “You haven’t done anything but wallow in self-pity since you got injured and were forced to retire from the Auror department,” she told him. “You need to find something that you enjoy, a reason for waking up in the morning.” When he didn’t respond again, she continued. “Why not be a Healer? You’re talented enough, I would think, and they’re certainly looking for good Healers. You don’t need to be an Auror to help people.”

Harry’s ears perked up at that. “Actually, that’s not a bad idea,” he told her. “I just always thought I wanted to be an Auror because I didn't know what else to do. I never thought about being a Healer.” It was not something that he had ever considered. Auror had always seemed like the only choice for him. Perhaps that wasn’t true.

“While you’re at it, you might want to start dating again, too,” she said, but that seemed to be the end of the conversation. Harry didn’t respond to that one. 

They talked about other things after that - namely Teddy, and Harry volunteering to keep him overnight once he got his next dose of the potion. He wanted to make sure he slept through the night when he had his godson over. Teddy woke up a bit later, and Harry watched as Andromeda worked with him on his Metamorphmagi skills. The lesson didn’t last that long, and he got easily frustrated when he couldn’t do something. Harry stayed for dinner before going home. He thought about it the rest of the night and most of the next morning about being a Healer. That was when he decided just to jump in head first, so to speak.

Harry wrote to both St. Mungo’s and the Ministry inquiring about how to go about being a Healer when he had no NEWT’s. He had been offered the Auror job, so that was different. Both letters were pretty much the same - _I am inquiring about how to go about being a Healer, as I do not have the required NEWTs. I would appreciate any information you have._ He thought the reason why - namely, Voldemort - was fairly obvious.

That night, he Flooed Ron and Hermione’s. If anyone could help him with what books to study - as he would need to brush up, and he assumed there had to be some test or something. That made sense, right?

“Oh, that’s so great, Harry!” Hermione said once he told her what he was doing. “I’m sure they have an entrance exam or something. You’re not the only one who hasn’t taken them over the years, and you have such a good reason. Now, do you have some spare parchment?” He almost wished he hadn’t. She organized the books she told him about by subject - and there was about five per section. It totaled about twenty books when all was said and done, and Harry was sure he was going to die if he had to read all those, no matter how long he had. It wasn’t going to happen.

Luckily, he needed to see Snape that night, so Harry figured he could ask his opinion. The man may be a right git, but he was brilliant.

Harry left his flat, and Apparated over to Snape’s. The older man answered the door. “I was expecting you,” Snape told him. He held out the vial.

Harry put his out hand out. “Wait, I want to ask you something!” Snape stood there, looking at him, and Harry couldn’t decipher what he was thinking. “Er, I’m actually thinking about becoming a Healer, and I asked Hermione for some books that I could study from,  and I wanted your opinion." He held out the piece of parchment that had the list of books he’d written down earlier.

Snape gave him a look that Harry couldn’t decipher. “You want my opinion?”

Harry nodded. “You might be - “ He almost went and insulted the man who was helping him. They had a contract for the potion, but he was also asking him for a favor right now that Snape didn’t have to do if he didn’t want to. “Well, let’s just say that you and I may have our differences, but regardless, you’re brilliant.”

Snape stared at him for a second, and then took the parchment from Harry’s hand. He motioned for him to follow him, and he followed him up to his rooms. He went straight to his desk, setting the parchment down and grabbing a quill. "What was she thinking?" He started scratching things off and writing things on the side and muttering things like "unnecessary" or "unrequired" or "interesting, but too advanced at this stage."

"If you tried to read all these you'd go crazy!" Snape said, and then started writing on the parchment. Harry just stood there patiently until his former professor turned around, handing him the parchment and the vial. "There, read those," he told him.

Harry nodded,  taking both items from Snape's hands. "Thank you." 75% of the list had been marked through, and some had replaced with his suggestions. There were only about ten book names there now. Hermione would be very upset, but Harry was glad to know that he had been right.

Snape just nodded in response, and Harry wondered if he even knew how to say "you're welcome."

"See you in a few days, Severus," he said, and then left before he could even see the inevitable glare that was sure to be on the older man's face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Severus glared at Potter’s retreating back. The boy definitely had a way of grinding on his nerves. It seemed as if he was starting to ask for more favors. He had sworn the last time he had been here that he would throw him out on his arse. He had looked at the time and prepared for his arrival, and then Potter had stopped everything because he wanted his opinion. Granted, it had been a wise decision, which was very strange considering this was Potter. Granger seemed to think that because she wanted to know everything there was to know about everything that somehow that meant everyone else should do the same. As usual, she was mistaken. The list had been too extensive, and no one - most especially not Potter - would have ever been able to tackle that list.

Severus couldn’t fathom the idea of Potter being a Healer. Then again, he had asked for his opinion, and before tonight, he wouldn’t have thought that was possible. It had shocked him, and very little managed to do that. He couldn’t comprehend the idea that the arrogant student he’d once had wanted to become a Healer. Healers were by nature people that wanted to help without any thought to themselves. That didn’t sound like Potter at all. Then again, Potter had also given him what appeared to be a genuine compliment. Severus was pretty sure that there had originally been an insult planned there, but he’d had the good sense not to use it. After all, it was not a good idea to insult someone from which you were asking for help.

He could not deny that this had been an unusual night. Potter had not been acting like himself lately. Other than the fact that he seemed to be insisting on using his first name that he had not given permission for, he didn’t seem like the arrogant brat from school. Severus had been a bit shocked that he had been actually asking for his opinion that he had given it to him.

Wait, why did Potter want to be a Healer anyway? Auror seemed more along the lines of something that he would want to do for a living, but of course, he couldn’t do that anymore because of his chest injury. He had already laid around for the better part of a year, which was not something he could continue. The boy’s change in attitude was also a bit disturbing as well. Severus refused to believe he had been wrong all those years, and he was reluctant to believe that he had changed this much. People didn't change that much. It didn't happen, and not to anyone with the last name Potter, even if half his DNA was Lily's. He had been too much like his father. Severus also refused to believe that he was curious about Potter himself. It was unnatural, that was all. Anyone in their right mind would be curious. It didn’t matter who it was.

Severus poured himself a drink and quickly downed it. Potter was becoming more of a nuisance than this contract was worth. Yes, it was his job, and the insolent brat now had the idea that he could ask for him for favors. He didn’t want him thinking that he could get away with that, and the use of his first name bugged him more than anything. What had his excuse been the first time? “It seemed weird,” to not use it and “they were going to be spending a lot of time together.”

Severus couldn’t wait until this whole thing was over because Potter was getting in his head ever since his breakdown, and he didn’t like it. He had thought about it for the rest of the night and spent the next couple of days trying not to think about Potter or his breakdown. That was, until today, when Potter was due to come for his next dose. It was hard to ignore him. All he’d wanted to do was hand him the vial and then shut the door in his face, but Potter had other ideas when he’d thrown him off by asking for his opinion. That was not part of the plan.

Severus poured himself another drink, thinking to himself that at this rate, he’d be an alcoholic by the time the contract ended at the end of September. Potter was infuriating. He swore to himself that this was the last time that he would let the young man get under his skin. He had more control than that. Next time, he would be out on his arse, end of story.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special shout out to Ticia for her help.

Harry went straight from Snape's flat to Andromeda's house, vial, and parchment in hand. He had promised to take Teddy today, and that's what he was going to do. Andromeda greeted him when he knocked on the door, and he noticed that she seemed a bit relieved that he’d shown up. "Sorry, I'm a bit late, but I just got back from Snape's flat," he explained. 

Andromeda nodded as she let him in. "That's fine, Harry," she said. "You're here. That's what matters. Teddy has been excited all day." 

Harry walked in and then was nearly mowed down by an energetic blue-heard three-year-old. He laughed. “Are you ready to go?” He nodded, showing Harry his packed overnight bag that he’d already seen. He just smiled down at him. They said goodbye to Andromeda, and then Flooed to Harry’s flat. Harry had Teddy put his stuff in his room, and then they went on the couch and watched some television. He left Teddy there while he made them some quick dinner. Afterward, Harry cleaned up before going back to sit with Teddy. The toddler was curled up next to him on his side, and a wash of guilt came over him. He had been so absent in this little boy’s life over the past the past year, and he felt so guilty that words could not describe it. He swore to himself, as he had to Andromeda the other day, that he wouldn’t do that again. Teddy was more important than whatever problems he was going through. It was hard, though, and it wouldn’t get any easier. Harry told himself that no matter how bad it got for him he would make an effort. None of this was Teddy’s fault, and he knew more than anyone what it felt like to be unwanted. He wouldn’t subject his godson to that. 

It started to get late, and Harry then prepared Teddy’s bath and washed him before putting him to bed. “But I’m not tired,” the toddler said, giving a big yawn. 

Harry chuckled. “Sure, you’re not.” To placate him, he told him a story. He always told ones based on either their father’s adventures in school or his own - of course, told in a way that was appropriate for a toddler. He never used names, either, but always made them up, so it seemed like a grand story for him. Teddy was dozing by the end of the story but still mumbled about another one. Harry just smiled and pet his head, and the toddler eventually dozed off. Harry got up, and then went back into the living room to watch some more television. He went to bed a couple of hours later, taking Snape’s potion as instructed. 

As per usual, Harry slept very well with Snape’s potion. So well, in fact, he was awoken early by a couple of small hands shaking him awake, muttering his name over and over again. He groaned and then turned around to see Teddy sitting on the bed, waiting expectantly for something. “Good morning, Teddy.” 

Teddy grinned, and Harry wondered how someone could have that much energy this early in the morning. “Morning! Are you awake? I’m hungry.” 

Harry smiled, nodding his head. He was awake now. “Okay, I’m getting up. I’ll meet you there.” The three-year-old jumped off the bed and dashed into the living room. He laid there for a minute before getting up. He heard Teddy calling for him again. “I’m coming!” He put a pair of jeans and made his way into the kitchen. 

Teddy was there standing there, bouncing on his feet as he waited for his godfather to come in. “And what have you been doing in here all alone?” Harry asked, before grabbing him and tickling him on his sides. The toddler giggled and squealed before Harry let him go. “Go sit down, okay?” He did as he was asked, and got into his chair. 

Harry made them both some breakfast and then cleaned up afterward. They played for the rest of the morning. He thought about taking Teddy out, but even though he was in a good mood, he wasn’t willing to deal with people staring at him. Going into the Muggle World was tricky because Teddy was still learning how to control himself at will. Even if he could change his hair back, it could change at any moment if they went out. 

After lunch, Harry put Teddy down for his nap. It was obvious that the toddler didn’t want to go down, but he finally managed to get him to sleep. It wore Harry out, so he relaxed on the couch for who knows how long until a wide-awake Teddy woke up, wanting to play some more. Harry wasn’t up for that much excitement at the moment, so he tried to get him to sit still, but it seemed as if he couldn’t - like he had springs in his legs. A few hours later, Harry was feeling a bit stretched and told his godson it was time to go home. 

Teddy seemed disappointed. Harry could tell by the look in his eyes and the way he held himself - he wasn’t as rambunctious as he normally was - but Harry got his things, and Flooed him back to Andromeda’s house. She was waiting in the sitting room for them and wrapped Teddy in a big hug once they came through. He quickly hugged her back, before wriggling out of her grasp and going back to Harry. Looking up at Harry, Teddy asked, “I can’t stay with you?” The look that Teddy gave him simply broke Harry’s heart, and he wanted desperately to be able to say yes. However, he knew that was a bad idea at the moment. Long stays would have to wait. He knew his limits. 

Harry took him in his arms. “No, not tonight,” he told him. “Er, how about this weekend?” He looked over Teddy’s head and caught Andromeda’s eyes. She gave an appreciative nod, and he looked back down at Teddy. The toddler was smiling from ear to hear, nodding vigorously. “Good, I’ll see you on Sunday, then?” If his memory served, that was the date this weekend when he got his next dose Snape’s potion. Unsure of what else to do, Harry just put a hand on Teddy’s shoulder and smiled at him, simply enjoying wanting the connection with the boy. 

Andromeda told Teddy to take his stuff upstairs, leaving Harry alone with her. “The house was rather quiet without him.” 

“I’m sure it was,” Harry replied. “He’s a handful, but I always miss him.” He looked over at her. “I have to wait until Sunday because of the potion.” 

Andromeda nodded. “I figured.” She raised her head and looked Harry straight in the eyes. “Harry, listen, you don’t have to push yourself. I know this isn’t easy for you. Teddy just wants to be with you.”

Harry nodded back in response. He understood what she was saying, but he wasn’t sure what else to do right now. He would have to figure it out, and making Teddy happy was worth it. He said his goodbyes and went back home. He turned right around, and Flooed Hermione. Ron answered the Floo but got his girlfriend for him. “Hey, er, I just want to tell you that I asked for Snape’s opinion on the… extensive list of books that you gave me, and he thought - and I agree - that most of it aren’t really necessary.” He read off the new list and the comments about the list that she had given him.

Hermione was visibly disappointed. “Oh, well, you did ask, and I was just trying to help, and I thought…” She went on for a while about her reasoning, and Harry had to cut her off.

“Hermione, and I know and I appreciate it,” Harry told her, feeling like a heel now even though he had been right. He reminded himself that he had done nothing wrong. She had gone overboard. “You’ll be the first person I ask to help me study.”

That brightened her up. “I won’t let you off easy, you know that,” she told him. “You’ll have to work if you want me to help.”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t,” he told her.

“How are you going to practice potions?” Hermione asked. “I know you can make them there, but your apartment really isn’t suited for such things, not really, and not on a regular basis.”

Harry nodded. “You’re right. I’ll think about it.” He said his goodbyes, and then dwelled on what Hermione had said. She was right - he could make potions here and had before,  but his flat was muggle and not meant for such things. He would have to come up with something else, but what? Then, it hit him.  He knew exactly where he could he could go every day to practice and not be bothered. There was just one problem.

Harry had no idea if Snape would agree to let him practice in his lab. He wasn't the most agreeable person, and that was putting it mildly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry slept well that night, thanks to the potion. That following day, the response from the Ministry arrived.  It was short.

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_Thank you for your letter. As it happens, you are not the only one who does not have their NEWT's for a reason beyond your control. If you have not already, please owl St. Mungo’s. They will explain to you their entrance exam for those in your position in order to get into their training program and send you the proper forms._

_I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors._

_Sincerely,_

_Griselda Marchbanks_  
_Ministry of Magic_  
_Wizarding Examinations Authority_

So,  Hermione was right - there was an entrance exam. The letter from St. Mungo’s hadn’t come yet, though. So, he would have to wait.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry didn't sleep well that night, leaving him feeling a bit off the next day. The reply from St. Mungo’s came that day, though.

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_Thank you for your letter, and we are pleased to hear that you are interested in becoming a Healer. We have an entrance exam for all those who are missing some or all of their NEWTs._

_You take the exam over a weekend, one of your choosing. The first day is written, and the next is practical. You will have eight hours to complete them each day.  Results will take about ten weeks to analyze, and then if you pass, you will receive your start date and the name of your trainer._

_The apprenticeship can last anywhere from six months - for those who simply need a refresher or choose to work longer hours - to three years - for those who wish to take their time or need more repetition. You can discuss necessities about your schedule with your trainer on your first day where you will get more information._

_We look forward to seeing you there._

_Sincerely,_  
_Jonas Rutherford_  
_Head of Training_  
_St.  Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries_

With it were two sign-up sheets. One was for the entrance exam while the other was for the apprenticeship, should he pass. They both had similar elements - name, birthdate, address, date that you finished Hogwarts… The application for the apprenticeship asked for any previous work experience and NEWT’s grades. There was a box underneath that section that said to check if you were taking the entrance exam, and had a note to see the attached form.

The apprenticeship form asked for OWL grades and then had you check off if you had any of the NEWT’s at all. Since he had none, he didn’t check any of them. There was a spot to leave a reason as to why you didn’t have the NEWT’s. Harry smirked, feeling that his reason should be obvious. He wrote down one name: Voldemort. He would love to see the look on the face of whoever read this form. Then, there was a list of dates of the rest of the year with a note saying to choose which weekend you were going to take your entrance exam, with a reminder that it would take both days. Harry signed up for the weekend after he finished his contract with Snape - September 29th and 30th.

Harry signed both forms in the proper places, confirming both honesty and accuracy and his commitment to that date along with the promise that if he should need to cancel, he would owl. He put the payment in with the envelope and then sent it off. It was official. He was going to be taking the Apprentice Healer’s Entrance Exam. He suddenly felt an onrush of nerves. He knew he would need Hermione’s help as she was the Queen of Studying. Now, he would actually have to go and get the books that she and Snape had picked out.

Harry decided to do that the next day after another bad night. He magicked the books to make them smaller and lighter so he could get them home. He set them on his coffee table and stared at them. Potions for the Healing Arts, Transfiguration and It’s Uses for Healing, and Advanced Healing Charms, among others were all sitting there in front of him. It was suddenly such a daunting task, and he had no idea where to start. He picked up one of the books that centered on healing as it pertained to Defense and flipped through that before going through one of the potions books.

Harry’s head started to spin, and he just left them there and went to bed early. He didn’t sleep well that night but started going through the books as much as possible. He told himself he would need to ask Hermione for help at some point because he’d never be able to do this without her. Late that afternoon, he went ahead and went over to see Snape to get the potion. Besides, he’d need to ask if he could use his lab, and he should just get that over with since he was certain the answer would be no.

Harry stood in front of the door nervously as he knocked. He heard footsteps coming towards him, and then the door opened, revealing Snape. The potion vial was in his hand. “Wait, I wanted to ask you something -”

Snape groaned, cutting him off. “Just because we have an agreement, does not give you license to badger me with questions every time you see me,” he drawled.

Harry just rolled his eyes. “At least give me a chance to finish my sentence,” he said. Bastard, he thought to himself as he felt anger bubble up within him. He told himself to control his temper because he couldn’t afford to piss him off. “I just wanted to ask if I could use your lab. Remember, I told you that I’m going to train to become a Healer? I need to practice potions, and I live in a Muggle flat so making potions there is not all that easy…” He shrugged his shoulders. “I mean, I couldn’t think of anywhere else and-”

“Yes, Potter, fine. You can use my lab,” Snape said, cutting him off again. “Quit babbling. Under a few conditions. You do not ask me for advice. You do not bother me or get in my way. You will use a cauldron in the corner, you will bring your own ingredients, and if you break, burn or destroy anything of mine you will pay to replace it. Is that clear?”

Harry nodded, feeling that was fair enough, but he couldn't stop a small smile from crossing his face that Snape had agreed. “That’s fine. Thank you so much,” he said.

Snape paused for a second before giving a slight curt nod and then handing him the vial. “Why do you live in a Muggle flat?”

The question took Harry by surprise, as did Snape’s small nod. What, did he not know how to say you’re welcome? And why was he curious about him living in a Muggle apartment? “Er, I had too much attention when I was looking at the Wizarding flats, so I went Muggle.”

Snape nodded. “See you in a few days, Potter.” Then, he shut the door in his face.

Harry stood there, in shock. It was great that Snape was going to let him work there, but why had he had been curious about him living in a Muggle flat? Sure, it was a bit odd, but… Putting it out of his mind, he went back home, trying to figure out what he would need to start working on potions as soon as possible.


	8. Chapter 8

Severus stood on the other side of the door after he had closed it in Potter’s face. There it was again - Potter asking for help. Again, he had agreed when he probably shouldn’t have. It had gone against his better judgment. He had been so shocked at what had seemed to be an honest request that he had said yes - well, that and the boy had started rambling. Pushing it out of his mind, Severus went back to finish his last couple potions, but barely ten minutes passed before he wondered what in Merlin’s name had possessed him to allow Potter to practice in his lab. What had he been thinking? It was a foolish idea, and he should tell him the next time he saw him not to ever come there unless he needed his potion dosage.

It was too late for that. He wasn’t the kind of man to go back on his words, and he had told the boy that he could practice there. Severus could not fathom why he had allowed it in the first place. Potter had genuinely asked and rather politely, too. He also seemed glad that he had allowed it. It was all rather strange if you asked him. Severus still could not believe that Potter actually wanted to become a Healer. It seemed so out of character for him. He seemed serious about it, though. He didn’t think he’d come over to him for more help if he didn’t absolutely need it. He had been asking him for help quite a bit lately, and it was starting to get rather annoying. He was a solitary man, and he did not want Potter poking around all the time.

Severus finished his potions, storing them properly before making his way up to his flat. He made himself some dinner, pouring himself a glass of brandy as he dwelled on Potter. He just couldn’t fathom why such a self-centered person would want to be a Healer. It simply didn’t make any sense. His father would never have been able to do a job like that; it wasn’t in his nature. Lily, on the other hand, would have been well suited for the profession had she survived. Potter, however, had never been like Lily, who had been kind and selfless in life, so why all of sudden was he deciding to something like becoming a Healer?

Severus knew as he cleaned up from dinner, that he had thought a lot about this since Potter had started coming around. It wasn’t something that he could get out of his mind, though, because it just didn’t make any sense at all. He poured himself another drink and went and down on the couch. He was not curious. He didn’t care what Potter did. If he wanted to be a Healer, fine. He could do that. Severus didn’t care one way or the other.

Severus regretted allowing him to practice in his lab, though. That would turn out disastrous, he just knew it. Knowing Potter, he would probably end up blowing it up or destroying part of it or something. There would be at least one melted cauldron for sure that he would end up having to replace himself because Potter would never remember to do so. He’d probably end up using his ingredients instead of bringing his own, as well. Why had he agreed to do this again? Oh, yes, that’s right, because Potter seemed genuine. Severus knew when someone was lying because he was an expert himself. Potter had lied to him many times in the past, so it would be no surprise he was proven wrong the one time he thought he might actually be serious about something. As if Potter could ever be serious about anything. It wasn’t possible. It wasn’t in his character.

Severus also couldn’t come to terms with the fact that Potter said he didn’t like the attention he got. That didn’t sound like him at all, either. None of this made any sense, and it infuriated him that he couldn’t figure him out. The Potter he knew from school reveled in the attention. What had changed so much in four years? Yes, a war had happened, and he would have thought that Potter would be enjoying the attention, but apparently not. Severus downed the rest of his drink and decided to go to bed early. He had a feeling that he’d be getting a visit from Potter tomorrow, and he was not looking forward to that.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry awoke the next morning feeling a bit nervous. He really needed to start potions, since that had always been his weakest subject at school. Of course, the snarky professor of that subject hadn’t helped. Regardless, it was the one he was most worried about. It also didn’t help that he’d been around him, working in the same area as him anytime he was there. To say he was nervous would be an understatement. To say that the two of them had a tumultuous relationship was also an understatement. It would not be easy, but he reminded himself that it was necessary and that the results would be worth it when he passed the Healer’s exam with flying colors.

Harry didn’t sleep well, so he went ahead and got up early. After making himself some breakfast, he decided to get any early start and get the ingredients he’d need. First, though, he needed to pick out what potions he was going to try today. He decided on two, both that seemed relatively easy healing potions. It would be a good warm up - or a show of how much of a miserable failure he was. Either way, it was a starting point.

Harry copied the instructions for the two potions onto a couple of pieces of parchment. That was when he had to make his way to Diagon Alley. He was not looking forward to it. In fact, he might be looking forward to it even less than Snape. He’d rather take that than the hero worship he got everywhere else. Part of him was actually looking forward to spending some time in Snape’s lab. At least, he knew he would not be bothered there, and that he could have peace - or well, as much as he could get with Snape around, only a few feet away all day long.

Harry arrived at Diagon Alley and headed straight for the apothecary. He got the ingredients on the list and tried to ignore the stares. Luckily, the shop was rather empty as the streets had been. That didn’t mean there weren’t stares, and he could imagine that there were people staring from shop windows and in the flats above the shop windows. He knew he might be imagining things, and most likely was. It didn’t stop him from thinking about it and picturing it inside his head.

After getting the ingredients he’d need for that day, Harry made his way to Snape’s shop, knocking on the door. Snape answered the door, glaring at him. “What is it, Potter? You just got your potion yesterday.”

“Yeah, but you said I could practice here, and I wanted to get started -”

“Fine, get in,” Snape ordered, leading him past the stairs that led up to his flat. There was a door past that that Harry had never noticed. Snape opened that up, and that led into his lab. It was a huge open room. There were several tables with cauldrons in the center of the room. The walls were lined with vials, ingredients, and the like. The back half had ingredients while the front half had vials both filled and unfilled, all organized by type. There was another door that Harry figured led into the front part of the shop.

“You’re over there,” Snape snapped at him, pointing at a cauldron over in the corner. “Don’t -”

“-screw anything up, be quiet and don’t bother you. Yeah, I know.” There was no point in letting him finish that sentence. Harry knew exactly what he was going to say, and quite frankly, he was tired of hearing it. He decided just to go and do what he was here to do, minding his own business. He wasn’t here to talk to Snape anyway. Why would he want to do that anyway? Especially if Snape was going to keep talking to him like that.

For a while, this worked pretty well. Harry screwed up the first potion twice, and it wasn’t because he didn’t know any better. He was just nervous, and at any moment, he expected Snape just to turn around and yell at him for no reason. That, and he wanted things to go well. The idea of being a Healer was growing on him all the time, and he if didn’t do well on his potions, he was not going to do well on the test.

Harry would cut the ingredients the wrong way, put a hair too much in. The door to the shop only opened once, but nonetheless, it distracted him. On the third try, he made it successfully. It came out just as his notes from the books said it should. He almost said ‘brilliant’ out loud in his excitement about getting the potion just right. He stopped himself, though, keeping his mouth shut.

Nonetheless, Snape looked over at him, stopping from the three potions he was doing. “You can hardly be finished with that already considering your abysmal skills.”

Harry didn’t want to be kicked out because by complicating things between himself and Snape, he would only make them worse. They had never been on good terms with each other. He didn’t want to make things worse since they had a long way to go before the contract ended. He would have to continue dealing with him from here on out, and that would be easier if he didn’t lose his temper. So he didn’t say anything, but inside, he was fuming. What in the hell was Snape’s problem?

By the time Harry bottled up his third successful potion and cleaned everything up, it was time for lunch. Since he was already here in Diagon Alley, he should just eat around here. Debating, he decided to go to a Muggle place nearby. He couldn’t stay here in Diagon Alley. He just couldn’t. He left his ingredients there and was planning just to leave when Snape made another comment.

“What, leaving so soon, Potter?”

Harry stopped in his tracks, his hands balled into fists. He almost turned around to tell Snape off but reminded himself that he didn’t want to piss him off. The older man was trying to antagonize him, and if he let him than it would ruin everything. He just wanted to practice and get the dosage of his potions. That was it. He didn’t want to let Snape ruin things for him.

Harry took a deep breath, gave a curt nod that he knew that other man would see and then made his way out. He walked out of Diagon Alley, and to a nice Muggle restaurant a couple of blocks away. He’d been there a couple of times before and always enjoyed the food.  After he was done eating, he made his way back to Diagon Alley and to Snape’s shop.

He knocked on the door and waited a few moments before Snape answered the door. “You decided to return,” Snape stated.

Harry balled his fists again, the words “Well, I came back, didn’t I?” on his tongue. He didn’t say them, though, and simply nodded. “Yes. I want to work on the second potion.” He looked him straight in the eye, refusing to back down.

Snape stared at him for a moment but then moved aside to let him in. “Fine,” was all he said. He didn’t follow Harry into the lab, though, but went upstairs. That was fine with him. He started work on the second potion. It went fine the first time, but it wasn’t quite right. The color was a bit off, so he scrapped it and started over.

That was when Snape came back down. “You haven’t started yet?” The scorn and disdain dripping from his voice was very evident.

Harry tensed up at the sound of his voice. “First one was a bit off.” He reminded himself not to let Snape get to him. That was easier said than done, though. That exchange caused him to cut some of the ingredients he had been preparing a bit too fine. With a groan, he vanished them and started over. He just knew Snape was smirking at that.

Harry did much better the second time around - well, third if the ingredient mishap was counted. He was satisfied, so he bottled it and then began cleaning up. All in all, today had gone fairly well, and it was only mid-afternoon. Well, there was Snape, but there was nothing that he could do about that.

“You can’t be done already, Potter?” Snape said it in the tone voice that clearly said that Harry needed more practice. “Surely, you do not think that you don’t need any more practice?”

Harry froze. He had been walking with his stuff towards the door.  Once again balling his hands into fists. That didn’t work to curb his temper this time. He turned around, knowing that his fury was evident on his face. “You know what, I am getting bloody sick and tired of you,” he said, the words flowing out before he could stop them. “I have done exactly what you asked, down to the letter, and you are being nothing but a nasty, snarky git to me. I don’t care what your reasons are, and I don’t care that this may just be how you are as a person. The very least you could do was give me the respect of ignoring me, but no, you couldn’t even fucking manage to do that. I am not being a git to you, so grow up. No, you know what? I don’t care. Do whatever you want.”

Snape stared at him for a moment, and Harry wondered what the retaliation for his outburst would be. He knew he shouldn’t have said anything, but honestly, how long was he supposed to take that man’s shit? All of a sudden, the potion’s master’s face turned into one of fury, and Harry knew he should have kept his mouth shut. No, that wasn’t right - he had been right, and Snape was wrong.

“Why, you insolent little -” Snape said, before walking towards him.  Harry took a step back, but the other man was several inches taller and crossed the space between them quickly. “Get out.” With that, he grabbed him back the collar of his shirt and pushed him out the door. He shut the door behind him before he’d even crossed the threshold.

“I was leaving anyway!” Harry yelled at the closed door, before rolling his eyes and going home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Severus was fuming when he threw Potter out on his skinny little arse. Who in Merlin’s name did he think he was, talking to him like that in his own lab? And after he was doing the boy a favor by allowing him to practice here? He went back over to his potions, doing his best to concentrate on them and not how angry he was at the moment. Potions were always calming to him, though, so he tried to put Potter out of his mind and continue on with his work for the day.

Once he had finished, Severus made his way up to his flat and made dinner. The entire time, all he could think about was the insolence that Potter had showed him today. That is, until about halfway through dinner when something occurred to him. Potter hadn’t actually done anything that he hadn’t told him to do. When he had asked him for the use of his lab, he had told the boy not ask him for advice, not bother him, to a cauldron in the corner, and to bring his own ingredients.

Potter had done just that. He had been quiet and diligent. He had used the cauldron that Severus had told him to use, had brought his own ingredients. He hadn’t broken, burnt, or destroyed anything that would need replacing, either.  He had done everything that was asked of him. That ruined his entire day because he had predictably made some comments… this was Potter, after all. He was about to screw something up or bug him at some point.

But he hadn’t.

Severus finished his dinner, cleaned up and poured himself a drink. He had certainly started drinking more since Potter’s visits had increased. He was already curious as to why Potter wanted to be a Healer, and then the boy had done exactly what he wanted him to. Since when did he act so well-behaved? What was up his sleeve? Was there anything up his sleeve? Potter usually wasn’t clever enough to be planning something, so if he wasn’t… was he actually trying to do exactly what was asked of him because… because of what? Was he afraid of inconveniencing him?

As he nursed his drink, he wondered how to go about things the next time he came over to work. There had to be something. Potter would do something to warrant the behavior that Severus had shown him earlier today; he just had to. He tried not to think about the fact that the Wizarding World’s Golden Boy not only wanted to be a Healer, which was quite out of character for him, but he had been… well, possibly been a rather decent lab partner.

Had Severus stepped into an alternative universe of some sort or was it possible that maybe, just maybe Potter had actually changed from the arrogant brat he’d known in school?

Severus downed his drink and decided to call it a night. His mind was reeling, and he wasn’t sure what to think. He told himself that the next time Potter came over, he’d watch him very carefully. Surely, he’d do something to warrant him getting kicked out for good next time. He just had to, because it was in Potter’s nature. The potions master refused to believe that he was wrong about him because truly, such things were just not possible.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, folks! By posting Chapter 8, I was caught up with what I had written already. Updates will be slower from here on out, but I have ten and eleven completed, and needing to be looked over by my betas/pre-readers. Don't worry, though, I will finish!

Harry Potter was enraged as he made his way home from Snape’s shop. Snape had said not to bother him, and what did he do? He proceeded to do nothing but bother him when all Harry had been doing was working quietly as he had been requested to do. He wasn’t surprised, not really, but that was beside the point. If he had done what he had been told to do, then what in the bloody hell was Snape’s problem? He was Snape. That was it - that was his problem. It had nothing to do with him.

Harry fumed all the way home, and as he made dinner. It wasn’t until after dinner than he realized that he’d have to go back. Without his lab, he had no idea if he’d be able to practice potions like he needed to. He’d need that for the entrance exam, or he’d never get into the apprenticeship at St. Mungo’s. He groaned as he cleaned from dinner and then went and sat down on the couch. Harry grabbed one of his books and started to read the beginning. He had parchment out for notes. He found it hard to concentrate, though. The idea of going back to Snape’s was a bit daunting, and he was still so freaking angry. The old git would make him apologize, and Harry hadn’t done anything wrong! It was infuriating.

Harry decided to wait to go back for a couple of days. Snape needed to calm down, and so did he. Besides, he didn’t want to push his luck. The old git might ban him if he pissed him off again. _This is such bullshit_ , he thought to himself. Why should he be forced to apologize when he did nothing wrong? Sure, he may have lost his temper, but he had been right.

As it turned out, it had been a good idea not to go back, because the next couple of nights were a bit rough. Harry was starting to get really tired of all the nightmares again. He wanted more, and by the time the next day for the potion came around, he was almost itching for it. It took every ounce of self-control he had not to run over and wake Snape up in the middle of the night to demand some more. He refused to do that, but the impulse was strong. He knew that he had to learn to live without it, but this whole process was agonizing. This was going to be a very long three months.

Harry was up early the morning of his next dosage. He made himself some breakfast and put off going back to Snape’s as long as possible. It was mid-morning, though, and he’d been up for hours already. Groaning, he got dressed, picked out the next couple potions he wanted to practice and copied them down before leaving for Snape’s shop. He dreaded the seemingly inescapable confrontation the whole way there. 

Harry approached Snape’s back door, as per usual. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for needing to convince the old bastard that he deserved to practice here after following his directions. He knocked on the door. There was silence for a bit, and then footsteps. The door opened, and there was Snape, glaring down at him. The younger man opened his mouth to say something, but Snape stepped aside and walked back towards the lab without a word.

Harry stood there in shock. He had expected Snape to say something, but he hadn’t. He hadn’t said anything - he had just walked away, leaving the door open for him to enter. He shrugged, thinking it was strange, but being grateful that he didn’t have to argue with him because he was not in the mood. He followed Snape into his lab, closing the door behind him. Harry walked over to his cauldron, as before. Snape didn’t even look at him. In fact, he didn’t acknowledge him in any way except for letting him in. It was so strange. He didn’t even know how to act. He just stared at the potion master’s back as he worked between cauldrons, just waiting for him to turn around and say something. But he didn’t. He just worked, not even acknowledging that he was there.

Harry wondered what was going on after the way he’d yelled at him before, but decided not to fight it. After all, this was what he had wanted, so he shrugged his shoulders. He started preparing his ingredients, cutting up each one according to the directions he’d copied. He put each one in the cauldron and stirred as directed, but the potion turned out to be green instead of the teal it was supposed to be. He frowned, vanished it and started over again. 

It was about then that he almost thought that he felt someone was looking at him. Harry had learned to trust his instincts, but the only person in the room was Snape. Why would he be looking at him? He glanced up, but the man’s back was to him again. _I could have sworn,_ he thought to himself. Maybe I’m just imagining things. It was strange, though.

Harry continued working, trying the potion again, and once more he thought he felt someone looking at him. He would glance up at Snape, but again, the older man wasn’t glancing his way. What is going on? It was bizarre. It distracted him so much he screwed up in the preparation of his ingredients and had to start over. He tried not to swear in frustration, and just continued with the potion.

Harry glanced up while he was working to see if he could catch Snape looking at him, because damn it, he had to be. However, he could never catch him if he was. There was no way that he could be imagining things. That just didn’t make sense, because it wasn’t as if he wanted Snape to be looking. He just wanted to be left alone so that he could practice, and it bugged him that he kept getting the feeling that he was being stared at.

Harry groaned, despite himself and his promise to stay quiet. He looked down at his ingredients and thought to himself that at least he hadn’t gotten so distracted that he had screwed up again. The potion turned out better that time around, and it was teal - or teal-ish. He shrugged, deciding that he wanted to move on. It was getting close to lunch time, though, so he’d take a break and come back.

Harry left his things and made his way out, getting that feeling again as he reached the door to the lab. He turned around, but as per usual, Snape wasn’t looking. He swore to himself and left. After getting lunch at a Muggle diner, he went back to the lab. It didn’t seem as if Snape had stopped at all. Did he ever eat? Come to think of it, he wasn’t sure that Snape had left last time, or at least he hadn’t seen him leave.

Snape glanced at him as Harry walked over to his cauldron, causing Harry to freeze in his tracks. The older man looked away, though, going back to his work without a second thought. It was strange, but he told himself to shrug it off. He started preparing for his next potion. He glanced up, seeing if Snape was looking at him because he was pretty sure that he had been that morning. Nothing.

Harry shook his head, wondering if he was going crazy. He told himself to concentrate on the potion. It didn’t matter what Snape did. This potion was a bit tricker than the last, and he screwed up the first batch royally. It was supposed to be orange, and it was yellow. How in the fuck does that even happen? It had to be scrapped, causing the young man to read over the directions a bit more carefully. He knew that potions had never been his forte, but there had to have been something that he missed.

Harry tried again, determined to get it right. He knew that potions were an important part of being a Healer, just like Charms or any of the other branches of magic that he would be studying in relation to Healing. He needed to get this right, but it was more than frustration that the first batch had turned out so horribly wrong. What had he done?

 _There’s nothing that I can do except try again,_ Harry told himself. _I refuse to ask Snape, especially since he specifically told me not to._ He read over the directions he copied very carefully before starting again, and even then, he read each line with scrutiny before going on to the next. He was determined that this should come out right.

It didn’t.

It was closer than before, though, but it was too dark this time, not even close enough to be considered okay for him. What had he done wrong? Harry stared at the directions, and the potion, determined to figure out what he had screwed up on. His eyes scanned down the list, trying to figure it out but to no avail. All of a sudden, a vial was sat on his table. It looked empty, but Harry knew that it wasn’t. He glanced up, and there was Snape. The older man looked down at his cauldron and then stirred it. “You added too much of the Jobberknoll feather,” he told him. “Crush it up a bit smaller, and add it in more carefully.”

Harry just stared at him for a minute before responding. “Thank you, but why… you said-”

“I was here, that is all,” Snape told him. “You did not ask for advice, but don’t think for a moment that I will offer it willingly again.”

Harry nodded. “Thank you.”

Snape returned his nod with a slight jerk of his head, before going back to his cauldrons. Harry wondered if he had kept the vial with him all day, or if he’d gone and gotten it while Harry had been at lunch. He told himself that it didn’t matter, but went to start over again. He almost thought about not following Snape’s suggestion just to spite him, but that seemed rather stupid. So, Harry took his advice, trying to cut the root up smaller, and add it more carefully - just like Snape said. Why had he offered the advice? Of course, the potion turned out perfectly. Harry was so confused. He glanced up again and could swear that he saw Snape turning his head away from him. It happened so quickly, but Harry was almost certain that the bastard had been glancing at him all day. Why? It made no sense unless he was double checking on him. Maybe that was it.

Harry bottled up that potion and decided that it was time to leave. He packed up his stuff, grabbed the vial, and made for the door. He had reached the door of the lab when he heard a voice.

“Potter.”

Harry, stopped, and turned around, confusion crossing his face. Snape had turned around and was looking at him. What now? “Er, yeah?”

“Why do you want to be a Healer?”

Harry blinked. “Er, what?”

“I didn’t stutter.” Snape’s eyes narrowed.

“Er, well… I just want to help people,” Harry admitted. “That’s part of the reason why I wanted to be an Auror. Well, that and I honestly didn’t think I could do anything else. Obviously, that’s not an option anymore, so it was suggested to me that I become a Healer. I thought it was a good idea, and the more I think about it, the more it’s something I really want to do.”

Snape stared at him before giving him a curt nod, and then turning around, going back to work.

Harry blinked in confusion again. What in the fuck was going on? “Er, okay, then,” he told him. “Thank you again. See you next time.” He then left making his way home, dwelling all the while on Snape. He had been looking at him all day, and Harry was pretty certain now that he had been doing it to make sure he didn’t screw something up. Then, what in Merlin’s name was up with that random question just as he was leaving? And Snape had offered him help - willingly, he might add, after yelling at him and insulting him the last time he’d been here. Harry thought he knew Snape, but now… He wasn’t sure what to think. He was so confused, so he just went home. His mind was reeling the whole time, wondering what in the world Snape could be up to. It nagged at him that he couldn’t figure it out. He obviously didn’t know the old git as well as he’d thought. That annoyed him, too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry walked into his flat, putting his potions with the rest. He kept the vial with the special dreamless sleep separate, putting it on his bedside table. He itched to take it right now, but he wasn’t ready to go to sleep, and that stuff knocked him out. He cooked himself some dinner and then dwelled some more on Snape. Snape had been watching him the whole time; Harry was sure of that now. The question was why. The more that he thought about it, the more he was sure that he must have thought that he would try something. That almost made sense, because it wasn’t as if he trusted him. They had never gotten along; that was no secret. It did make sense, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t annoy him. It had also been horribly distracting. However, there was one thing that bugged him even more.

What in the bloody hell had been up with that random question at the end of the day? Why was he becoming a Healer? First of all, it was none of his damn business and second of all what did it matter? Harry didn’t understand, and that bugged him. He should have asked, but he had been so shocked that Snape would ask him anything except why are you leaving. This wasn’t the first time, either. The other day, Snape had asked him why he didn’t live in the Muggle world. Why was he curious? What was it of his business anyway? Harry could refuse to answer because it wasn’t, but it wasn’t as if he was hiding anything. It was just annoying, and it annoyed him even more that he couldn’t figure him out. Then again, no one figured out Severus Snape unless the old bastard wanted them to.

Harry shook his head, trying to put all thoughts of Snape out of his mind. That was not something - or someone - that he wanted to dwell on. He opened his books, but it was so daunting, and he only had a few months in order to learn all this before he had his test. Yes, he could reschedule if he failed a part of it, but that wasn’t the point. He didn’t want to fail. Harry sighed, and knew that he’d have to talk to Hermione and get her to come up with a plan for him. He’d never stick to it, he knew that, but he had asked her for help. Not tonight, though. He was not in the best of moods after the past couple nights. He’d feel better tomorrow after taking the potion. He took the few drops of the potion and immediately fell sound asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just as he thought, Harry felt much better the next day, so he tried to study. He made a mental note to go see Teddy again soon. When he thought Hermione would be off of work, he Flooed her. “Hey, do you want to come over? I could use some help coming up with a study plan.”

Hermione beamed. “Of course! I was wondering when you’d call me. I’ll be right over.” She disappeared, but a moment later, she stepped right on through. She was still smiling from ear to ear. He was glad that she was happy, but part of him knew that he’d end up regretting this. “So, I had some ideas -”

“Wait, Hermione,” Harry interrupted, stopping her in her tracks. “Remember, before we get started… I’m not you. I can’t study the way you can. I know that I have three months and a lot of information to go over, but… I’m not you.” He took a seat on the couch.

Hermione sat next to him. “I know that Harry,” she told him. “I know I can be a bit overbearing and a bit of a perfectionist sometimes, but I mean well. I’m only trying to help, you know, and you did ask for it.”

Harry nodded. He felt like a bit of a heel for saying anything, but he didn’t want her to come up with a plan that only she could come up with.

“How are you doing?” Hermione asked. “You know, with the… contract with Snape.”

Harry shrugged. “Well, enough, I guess,” he told her. “Some days are better than others. It’ll be worth it when it’s all over, though, I suppose.”

Hermione nodded. “At least Snape’s potion doesn’t have side effects.”

He turned to her, his brows furrowed in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t you remember? Oh, wait, maybe we didn’t tell you,” Hermione told him. “That was a very… trying day. Snape told us when you… wouldn’t wake up that he designed the potion to be without side effects. Pomfrey said it might have saved your life.”

 _Great_ , Harry thought to himself, _another thing I owe him for._ “Why is that important?” He knew that his best friend would know that he was referring to how it mattered now, and not in reference to when he passed out from the overdose.

Hermione turned to him, that looked on her face - that one that said that she didn’t understand how he didn’t know these things. “Honestly, Harry… if Snape’s potion was a normal potion that you were being weaned off of, then this would be even harder on you than it already is,” she explained. “You would have more withdrawal symptoms. It’s still early, though. Your contract isn’t over until… when, September?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, September… 22nd.” They sat in silence for a while, before he remembered why she was there. “So, what’s the plan?”

“Oh! Right!” She grabbed some parchment Harry had left on the table in front of her and began writing furiously. Harry just watched her writing, and she didn’t say a word until she was done. “There you go. Stick to that as closely as possible, and you should be okay.” Harry took the papers from her. It was over three pieces of parchment. She had detailed what to do on what day, and tried to keep things spread out enough, but did enough so that he would finish everything on time. “I wasn’t sure how often you were going over to practice Potions at Snape’s, so you can edit it around that,” she suggested.

Harry nodded. “I’ve only been over twice so far.”

“How’s that going on?” Harry just groaned. “That bad, huh?”

“It’s just that… I did everything he asked of me, and he was a git to me the whole first day I was there,” Harry told her. “And then, this time, he wouldn’t stop looking at me, like he was waiting for me to screw up.”

Hermione shrugged. “Well, he doesn’t think very highly of you, and you two didn’t get along,” she told him. “It’ll only be for another three months, and then you’ll never have to see him again.”

Harry nodded. He thanked Hermione for her help and then she left soon afterward. As he went to bed that night, though, the only thing he was thinking about was Snape. The old git’s behaviour still annoyed him. He told himself as he drifted off that it would pass when Snape realized that he wasn’t going to do anything weird or crazy. At least, that’s what he was going to tell himself because he wasn’t sure how much longer he could deal with this.


	10. Chapter 10

_I just want to help people…_

The words echoed in Severus’ mind long after Potter had left. He wasn’t sure what to think. He supposed he had the answer he had sought for. He wasn’t sure what he had thought he was going to hear from the young man, but that one had not been in it. It had sounded like something that Lily would say. The two were nothing alike; it had shocked him. He hadn’t been able to say anything except just turn around and wait for him to leave. That had been why he had asked on his way out, to avoid Potter wanting to try and talk just because he’d ask him a question.

Severus also regretted offering Potter advice. If the insufferable brat was going to stand there, keep making mistakes and being louder than he should be, offering a slight suggestion was the least he could do. Besides, making potions was his job. Potter should be so lucky that he was even getting any advice on his abysmal potions at all. It wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t been over there at his cauldron to drop off his few drops of the sleeping potion. Severus was cursing himself that he had not been careful enough. Yes, he’d wanted to watch Potter to make sure he wasn’t going to do anything to screw up his lab. He knew him well enough to know that he was not a potions genius, far from it, in fact, and he was lucky enough that he was even allowing this. It was his prerogative to watch someone in his own lab - especially Potter.

Severus pushed Potter out of his mind, refusing to spend any more time dwelling on that brat. He finished his potions, and then went up to his flat to make himself dinner. Try as he might, though, Potter kept creeping into his mind. At least, Potter hadn’t used his first name this time that he’d been over. He prided himself on his intellect, and yet he couldn’t figure Potter out. He wanted to help people? It seemed a bit out of character for him. He admitted that helping people was only part of the reason he had wanted to become an Auror, which only served to peak his curiosity. It made him want to know the other reason - or reasons.

Damn that Potter. This was supposed to be only a contract for his sleeping potion - that was it. It was turning into more than that now, as Potter was now going to be coming over to practice his Potions. It annoyed him because it wasn’t supposed to be like this. It also annoyed him thoroughly that Potter had caught him watching him. He successfully spied on the Dark Lord for many years, yet the Golden Boy had caught him. He must be slipping, which only served to aggravate him further.

Severus poured himself a glass of brandy as he finished making dinner. Afterward, he cleaned up and then poured himself another glass. He made another mental note to himself that he was drinking more since Potter had come around. He just took his place in his chair in front of the fire, taking the bottle of brandy with him. He had an idea of when Potter was coming back, and it irritated him that the Golden Boy could show up whenever he wanted. At least with the contract, there was a schedule. Well, today had been a contract date, so maybe he would wait and not come back until the next contract date.

He should be so lucky.

~~~~~~~~~~

The next day was pretty typical for Severus. He woke up early, as per usual, and made himself some breakfast. After eating, he went downstairs. None of his shop workers would be here for a couple of hours yet. He checked the stocks in the store to see what they would need before going back in the lab. Checking his ingredients, he knew he’d need to replenish in a day or two, and that included going to Knockturn Alley for some… less savory ingredients. Some ingredients were harder to get ahold of at more reputable apothecaries - like the one in Diagon Alley - because they were mostly used in potions that were either dangerous or illegal. Severus didn’t care one way or the other and used what he felt would make the potion work best. He didn’t need to go today, though, and thus checked to see if he had any personal orders due today. He had one, but he had completed it yesterday because the potion in question needed to sit.

Severus made a mental list of what he would need to make today, and in the order he would need to do it in. He went to work, staggering the start times for the potions. As he went on, he almost expected for Potter to show up at any moment. The brat had shown up at about the same time the last two times he’d been here to practice, so when that time passed, he was pretty sure he was free of him for one day at least. If he was lucky, Potter wouldn’t show up tomorrow, either.

Turns out, he was lucky. Potter didn’t show up the next day, and Severus was free not to worry about him ruining something for once. _But Potter didn't do anything that you didn’t ask_ of _him,_ he thought to himself. He had, in fact, been a rather decent lab partner, all things considered. Sure, the last time he’d been here he may have gotten annoyed at getting the potion wrong, but other than that, he had kept quiet and not ruined anything or asked for advice.

If anything, that was more aggravating than anything else. How could he have been wrong about him? Severus was rarely wrong about anything, especially Potter. He had not only admitted to wanting to help people - though there was another reason he hadn’t mentioned as to why he had become an Auror in the first place - but that he had nightmares and didn’t like the attention he received. It seemed hard to believe, but he was not seeing much of the arrogant young man who used to be his student. He still refused to believe he was wrong, though. Not completely, anyway.

Severus told himself that he was overthinking things, that there was no reason to be curious about Potter. It didn’t matter why he did anything. That was none of his business.

~~~~~~~~~

The next day was one of Potter’s contract dates, so Severus was fairly certain he would show up. He was right about that. Severus had already been down in the lab for an hour or so when the Golden Boy decided to show up. He quietly went over to his cauldron in the corner with his ingredients and went to work. Severus told himself not to worry about him. If he screwed something up, he could yell at him then. He kept himself firmly engrossed his work though he was keenly aware of the younger man’s presence behind him. 

Both men continued working quietly. Severus could hear Potter working back there no matter how quiet he was, and it was a little unnerving still knowing that someone else was in his lab. He expected him to do something stupid and foolish at any moment. After a while, he heard some cussing from behind him. It was always short-lived, though, never giving him a chance to turn around and yell at him. That was incredibly annoying. If Potter was going to talk in his lab, he could at least have the decency of getting caught. He looked back a couple of times, but after Potter had met his gaze the second time, he stopped.

 _You’re slipping,_ Severus told himself, just as he had the other day. Potter should never be aware that he was watching him. A good spy should always go unnoticed, and he had been one for a long time. It aggravated him that the Golden Boy could catch him. Was he becoming predictable? _Damn it, you think about him when he’s here, and you think about him when he’s not here. What’s wrong with you? It has to be Potter’s fault somehow. There’s no other explanation. It doesn’t concern you; nothing about Potter does. Why do you care one way or the other?_

Potter finished up the potion that he was on. It seemed that he had wasted enough time on it, because he left, presumably for lunch. Severus checked his time and decided to go to lunch himself just as he had the last two times that Potter had shown up. After all, he didn’t want that insolent brat in the lab by himself while he was eating. He didn’t trust anyone that much, especially Potter. Severus finished lunch and then went back to work. Potter showed up not too much longer after that, and the two worked in silence for a while longer. He was still very aware of Potter’s presence, as aware as he was of anyone who entered his lab. He would be glad when his lab was completely silent again, no matter how quiet Potter might have thought he was being. It was still someone else in his lab.

When Severus was at a good stopping point, he got the next few drops of the sleeping draught for Potter. He would need to make more soon within the next few dates, as he was running low. He set the vial on his table where he was working, and he couldn’t help but notice that Potter was screwing up again. Don’t say anything. “You need to put more of the unicorn horn in, or it will come out wrong.” He turned away and went back to his work.

“Thank you,” he heard Potter say from behind him.

Severus didn’t respond but simply continued working. He glanced back to see if Potter had managed to screw it up again. It seemed under control, so he didn’t interfere. As he was working, he could swear a few times he felt Potter looking at him. If Potter thinks that the only thing I have to do is to watch him, he’s got another thing coming, the arrogant brat. Severus did feel some sense of satisfaction that he hadn’t been completely wrong about him. There was still some of the arrogant whelp from Hogwarts still in him.

It wasn’t too much longer before Severus heard Potter cleaning up. At least that was something - the boy didn’t leave things a mess, because if that were the case, then he probably wouldn't let him back in his lab to practice. Then again, chances are, Potter knew that. He was making to leave when Severus turned around. The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself. “What was your other reason?”

Potter turned around a look of confusion on his face. “My other reason for what?”

Severus instantly regretted saying anything, but he couldn’t go back now. Knowing Potter, he’d never let it go. “You said the other day that you had another reason for becoming an Auror,” he explained. “What was it?”

Potter’s expression changed from confusion to shock. “Er, well… Honestly, I couldn’t think of anything else. I mean, I’d already done it, you know? It was really the only thing I was good at.” It was a simple answer, but not the one Severus had been expecting. He had been expecting for him to say something about wanting the glory, or the challenge, something to that effect. It seemed that Potter was proving him wrong, and he regretted saying anything. He didn’t care, and his curiosity was getting the better of him, it would seem. “Why do you ask?” Potter queried.

“No reason,” Severus said, turning and going back to work.

“Er, okay,” Potter said. “Goodnight, Severus.”

Severus quickly turned around, glaring at the young man’s retreating back. How dare he use his first name? “Same to you, Harry,” he said, spitting out his first name like venom. That boy was becoming a pest. Why would he allow him to come back his lab continuously? There were only a few months left of the contract, so when it was done, he could just kick him out and be done with him for good. There was no reason to continue seeing him after it was done. He barely wanted to see him now.

~~~~~~~~~

Harry left Snape’s lab feeling thoroughly confused. Snape was probably the most confusing and aggravating man that he had ever met. That was made even more confusing by the fact that he had known the man for years now. He thought he knew him, but the Severus Snape he knew wouldn't have asked him questions about himself. He did that tonight, and it wasn’t the first time he wanted to do that. What was Snape’s problem? It wasn’t as if he actually cared. That was the point, though, wasn’t it? If Snape didn’t care, on at least some level, then why was he asking him questions about his choices? It wasn’t as if he would be curious on any level otherwise. This was Snape he was talking about, after all. What in the bloody hell was going on?

Harry tried to put it out of his mind as he reached his flat. He did not want to dwell on Snape anymore but found that it was hard to do. It just didn’t make any sense. He thought he had Snape figured out, but apparently, he was wrong. He was so frustrated, he just made some dinner, cleaned up and then went to bed.

The next day, Harry felt better thanks to Snape’s potion. He managed to put the potion’s maker out of his mind, telling himself that he must have been imagining things. He spent the next couple of days trying to study as much as possible. However, as he was in between doses, that was easier said than done. He knew he was going to have to learn to live without them. _I suppose that’s why they call it an addiction,_ he thought to himself.

Harry waited until the next contract date to go back to Snape’s lab, and as per usual, Snape was already there, working. The older man looked over at him as he entered. They worked in silence for the rest of the morning, but as before, Harry got the feeling that Snape was looking at him again. It was unnerving and distracting. He went to lunch, glad to be out of the lab, but of course, he had to go back. Harry tried to stick to his work and told himself that he imagined things. That is, until, towards the end of the day, when Harry thought he felt someone looking at him once again. He happened to look up and catch Snape’s gaze. “You are looking at me!” Harry exclaimed. “Why?”

Snape groaned and then turned around. “Potter, I thought I told you when I agreed to let you practice here -”

“Why are you watching me?” Harry asked. “I’ve caught you the last two times I was here, too.”

Snape’s gaze narrowed. “You are in my lab. That’s reason enough.”

Harry crossed his arms over his chest. “Really? So, you keep looking at me because I’m in your lab?” He felt that he’d more than proved that he was capable of not burning the place down over the past couple of days. Surely even Snape realized that. Yes, Harry realized he was a stubborn bastard, but… something just didn’t sit right with him about that.

“It is no secret that your skills in potions back at Hogwarts were severely lacking, Harry,” Snape said, saying his name with such a sarcastic tone that Harry wanted to lunge at him. “The number of times that I had to save everyone from a disaster of your making was insurmountable. I am simply looking out for my own livelihood.”

 _Oh, please,_ Harry thought to himself. _If I was going to blow this place up, don’t you think I would have done it already?_ “You know what, Severus, you didn’t have to let me use your lab,” he pointed out. “You could have just said no, which is what I expected. So, why did you say yes?” Snape didn’t answer, and since he always had an answer for everything, Harry found that rather strange. There was another reason, then. But what? “Also, why did you let me back in after the fight? I was certain you’d bar me from ever entering again,” Harry said.

Still, Snape didn’t respond - he truly didn’t have an answer or not one he was willing to share. It confused Harry. What was going on? This wasn’t like Snape at all. He was rude the first day, but after that, he’d done nothing but give him advice and look at him. It was strange, even for Snape. It left Harry feeling distracted and confused. And the silence was enough to drive him crazy! After what seemed like forever, though it probably hadn’t been very long at all, Snape spoke again quickly as he turned around. “If you’re through, Potter, you can clean up and see yourself out.”

Harry took that to mean “get out, or I’ll throw you out,” so he vanished the rest of his potion, which he hadn’t finished. He made a mental note to start on it next time. He knew, however, that he’d hit a note. Snape was admitting that he had a reason for letting Harry come around. Harry knew him well enough to know that. Harry wasn’t sure what it was, but he wasn’t going to dwell on it here. He cleaned up and then left. “See you in a couple of days, Severus.”

A lot of things can change in a few years’ time. Apparently, that was truer than Harry ever thought it could be. 


	11. Chapter 11

Harry tried to think about Snape as little as possible, but it seemed his life pretty much revolved around him. The next couple days were spent waiting until the contract date so he could go to Snape’s lab, practice potions, and get his dose of the potion. Between the doses, he was so on edge he wasn’t sure what else to do. He tried to study, but that was hard to do when you woke up screaming from a nightmare. All it made him want to do was curl up in his bed and wait for it all to end. That made studying rather difficult. One day, he spent it almost entirely in bed. He remembered thinking that he should get up, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It made him feel like a failure.

Harry was also left wondering about Snape’s behavior. It was strange, even for him. Sure, he supposed that it could be because Snape didn’t trust him, but that just didn’t feel right. Something else was up, but he wasn’t sure what. It felt different. Yes, he knew things could change in three years, people could, but Severus Snape? He would never have thought that in a million years. Something had changed, though, and it was bugging him. However, the days passed, and the contract date was upon him again. He was there earlier again, but as before, Snape was there already. _I know he has to leave to sleep and eat and all that, but it doesn’t really seem as if he ever leaves,_ Harry thought to himself as he set up. As before, the older man glanced over at him. Harry met his gaze, and he looked away.

That afternoon, Harry cleaned up before going to lunch, and something itched at him. He turned around to face Snape. “Do you ever eat?”

Snape froze in his work and turned around to face him. “Your lack of intelligence astounds me, Potter,” he said. “Contrary to the rumors you may have heard at Hogwarts, I am a human being, and therefore, yes, I do eat.”

“I’ve never seen you eat.”

“You’ve seen me eat.”

“Well, at Hogwarts, sure. I’m not stupid, contrary to what you might think,” Harry told him. “I meant since I’ve been using your lab.” Seriously, how dumb did Snape think he was?

“When I choose to take a break from my job to eat is none of your business.”

“So, you do eat.”

Snape groaned. “Yes, Potter, I do eat, when you are not here. I am not leaving you alone in my lab.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Fine. If you’re going to eat at the same time as I do, we might as well eat together.”

Snape turned back to his work. “Leave, Potter.”

“Fine,” Harry said. “See you after lunch, Severus.”

“Same to you, Potter,” he said, saying his last name as a curse word.

The rest of the day went rather smoothly, at least for them. Snape was still looking at him occasionally which made Harry want to scream at him. He dropped off his dosage, gave a piece of advice about the potion that he was making and then went back to his work.

~~~~~~~~~~

Harry realized as he got home that the gaps between doses were getting longer. The last one had been four. This time, it would be five days. It was only going to get longer. He felt a slight sense of panic and wondered how hard would it be when it would be a full week. Or two? He took a deep breath because he didn’t need to make himself so upset that he had an attack. Besides, Ron and Hermione were going to be over for dinner at any moment. He would rather not deal with their looks of pity if they saw he was having issues. He was always having issues, and while they knew that, he didn’t need to hear about it. He didn’t need for them ask him if he was okay. He wasn’t, but for once, he could try and be normal.

Harry had started dinner before they arrived, and his best friends showed up shortly before the food was ready. “Hey, good timing,” he told them. “It’s almost done.”

“Smells great, mate,” Ron said, coming in and grabbing two drinks out of the fridge before sitting down. He handed one to Hermione, who sat down next to him.

“It does,” Hermione commented. “So nice to not have to cook.”

Harry shrugged. “I kind of like cooking, so I don’t mind,” he told them. “Besides, we don’t get to see each other too much.” Provided the conversation stayed away from… certain things, he would be okay.

“So, how are things, Harry?”

Harry would have groaned if Hermione wouldn’t have been able to hear him. Of course, she would ask that question. “Fine,” he responded, shortly and to the point.

“Oh? That’s good,” she said.

“Yeah, Snape’s not too bad?” Ron asked, a smirk crossing his lips.

Harry rolled his eyes as he finished up dinner. “He’s Snape. What else can I say?” _Yeah, because telling you_ _two the truth is not an option,_ he thought to himself.

“I don’t know, mate. After as much as we had to deal with concerning him, I don’t know if I could do it.”

Hermione elbowed him. “Ron!”

“What?”

“That was a long time ago,” she said pointedly. “Besides, this is a business arrangement, and Harry is mature enough not to let the past get in the way of what’s best for him. Also, it appears that Snape is being a bigger person, too, or he would have thrown Harry out when he asked to train there!” She said it all in one breath, her eyes fixed on Ron.

Ron put up his hands in defeat, knowing better than to get into argument with her. “Okay, Hermione, calm down. It was just a comment.”

Hermione huffed, and Harry cleared his throat. “Um, if you two are done with your lover’s quarrel….” They both blushed a bit as Harry set their food in front of them, and muttered thanks. He just smirked and got his own food before sitting down. It was kind of nice to hear them going at it like that because it seemed completely normal. And it had nothing to do with him… well, sort of.

“So, Snape’s not being too much of a jerk to you, then?” Hermione asked between bites. “This is great, by the way.”

“Thanks, and I mean…. He’s Snape.” He shrugged his shoulders, really not wanting to talk about it. There were things going on that he couldn’t tell them about right now because he wasn’t even sure what was going on himself. “He doesn’t trust me in his lab, and he still makes some snide comments every now and again, but it’s fine. I can handle him.” He wanted to change the subject, and quickly. “So, how’s work?”

Hermione piped up first, going on about some new reform she was working on. Harry just nodded, because he was only paying half-attention. Talking about Snape had brought back memories of what had transpired earlier. He had tried to get Snape to come with him for lunch because if he was going to be watching him like a hawk anyway, he might as well just come with him. It made sense, right?

Ron made a comment about Hermione taking a breather and getting back to eating. Between bites, he went on about some new stuff that was going on at the joke shop. Meanwhile, Harry was dwelling on his interactions with Snape. He had been disappointed early when he had turned him down. Not even logic could get through to him, it seemed. Why was he disappointed? It didn’t make sense. This was Snape, after all. Yet, there was a part of Harry that had been disappointed. Why couldn’t Snape just stop being so stubborn? They were both adults. And the fact that he wouldn’t use his first name was to be expected, but would it kill him? It was a name. He was treating him like he was still a child. Things had changed, and he was being too stubborn about everything.

It was about then that Harry realized that Ron and Hermione were talking to him. “Er, what?”

They shared a glance. “Harry, were you even paying attention?” Hermione asked.

 _No, not really,_ he thought to himself. He wasn’t about to say that, though. He didn’t need the lecture. “Of course.” Hermione gave him a pointed look as if she knew better, and as she was Hermione, she always knew better. “You talked about the reform, and Ron talked about some new products.” That was a cop-out, and they all knew it. He couldn’t tell them the truth, though, because the truth was complicated, and he didn’t understand it himself.

“Harry-”

“Hermione, let the man be,” Ron said, chowing down on his food. Hermione relented, and Harry was silently thanking Ron. The rest of the night passed quickly, and he was glad when they left. He loved them, but he didn’t want them wondering what he had been thinking about. Had he really just spaced out with them while thinking about Snape? What in the bloody hell was going on? Harry pushed it out of his mind as he got ready for bed. He didn’t want to think about it right now. He was probably better off that way, too.

~~~~~~~~~

Harry decided that he couldn’t wait until the next dosage to go and practice. Since he and Snape didn’t have a schedule for when he went over to his lab to practice. After all, Harry had never said that it was only on the dosage days. If Snape assumed that, it was not his fault. So, he decided to go back on Saturday, two days after the last dosage. It was right in the middle of the five-day stretch. 

Harry arrived at the lab, trying to steel himself for another day with Snape. _Everything will be fine,_ he told himself. Just like every other time you’ve been over here. As soon as he walked in, Harry knew that wasn’t going to be true. For one thing, Snape wasn’t the only person in the lab. There was someone else, and it was so strange to see anyone else there. In fact, other than pop-ins from Snape’s employees from the store front… No one else had been in here. There was someone else here, though, and Harry wasn’t imagining him.

The man in question was a few years older than him, and about Snape’s height. He was thin, with wavy, black hair, and a creamy skin tone. He couldn’t see his eye color from here. He was working on the opposite side of the room from where Harry worked and didn’t seem to acknowledge that he noticed anyone else here. He looked pretty fit from where Harry was standing, too.

 _Wait, what?_ Harry thought to himself. Sure, he had acknowledged in the past that some guys were attractive, but that didn’t mean anything. Did it? It seemed the confusion never ended, because here he was, thinking that this guy - whoever he was - was fit. What was going on with him? And who was this guy? Why was he here? It didn’t make sense. It wasn’t as if Snape was a sociable person. Harry just stood there, just inside the lab, until Snape’s voice cut through his thoughts. “Potter, if you’re going to just stand there, you can leave,” he said.

Harry looked up and met his gaze, before looking away. “Sorry,” he muttered, going over to his cauldron. He glanced over at the other guy in the room. It bugged him that he didn’t know who this was and why he was here. There was no reason for anyone else to be here besides him. Harry set out his directions for the potions he had planned to work on that day and started preparing his ingredients. He looked between Snape and the other guy in the room. Shaking his head, he tried to concentrate on what he was doing. It was no business of his why this guy was in here. That was between him and Snape and had nothing to do with him. Yes, that made sense - nothing to do with him at all.

Harry had hoped that Snape would have stopped his looking at him, as he had been here a few times before. However, he wasn’t, despite the fact that someone else was in his lab, too. _So, it’s just me and not the fact that someone else is working in his lab,_ he thought to himself, still wondering off-handedly who the other guy was. Did he work for him? No one else should be here. Harry shook his head and tried to concentrate on his potion. It was none of his business.

They worked most of the morning in silence. As it turned out, Snape did watch the other guy, but nowhere near as much. He didn’t get the frequent glances over to him the way Harry did. What did that say? It was something he wasn’t ready to deal with, and this whole situation made him feel even more confused than he had before. Why did he even care who this other guy was?

Around lunchtime, the other guy finally spoke. “Sir, I’m done with this part of the potion,” he said. “It needs to sit for a couple of hours, so I will return later.” He turned to leave.

Snape stopped him. “Wait, Mr. Monroe,” he said, walking over to his cauldron. He looked at the potion, which he hadn’t done all morning. “It is satisfactory. You may go.” The guy - Monroe, apparently - nodded and then left.

“Who was that?” Harry said the words out of his mouth before he could stop himself. _What’s wrong with me? I don’t care!_ he told himself.

Snape turned to him. “I fail to see how that information is any of your business, Potter,” he said, his black eyes glaring at him.

Harry shrugged. “It’s not. I’m merely curious, that’s all,” he said, trying to convince Snape as well as himself that was the only reason he was asking. There couldn’t be another reason.

Snape stared at him for a moment, before going back to his work. “As I said, it is none of your business,” he told him. “You are here to practice, so do so or find somewhere else.”

Harry glared at his back before going back to his work. Snape had a point. It wasn’t any of business, so why did it still bug him? Why did he care? Why did he want to know? He was just getting back into things when there was a knock on the door. He looked back up at Snape, who waved his hand without even looking to open the door.

Harry glanced back as he heard footsteps and saw what was the last person he expected to see - Lucius Malfoy. He looked the same as the last time he’d seen him because he had run into him when he had started working in the Auror Department. He barely spared him a glance, muttering a quiet, “Potter,” in greeting before walking straight for Snape.

“Yes, Lucius, what do you want?” Snape snapped. “I’m working.”

“Obviously,” Malfoy said, seeming to ignore the other man’s attitude. “It’s been months since we’ve seen you. Draco and Narcissa are quite put out.”

“I’ve been busy. I do have my own business to run, something you wouldn’t understand.”

Malfoy smirked at him. “Yes, I’m sure,” he responded, waving off Snape’s comment. “Nevertheless, Narcissa insists that you come over for dinner - tonight. She won’t accept no for an answer.”

 _So, they’re still friends,_ Harry thought to himself. He was sure that after Snape had been revealed to have been a spy for so long that it would have affected things. He had known that they had been friends when they had been younger. Apparently, it hadn’t affected anything or at least not enough for them to not be speaking and for Malfoy to come over and demand his presence for dinner at the Manor.

“Fine,” Snape said simply. He glanced back at Harry, before going back this work.

Malfoy, meanwhile, stood near Snape, but not close enough to be in his way. This indicated to Harry that he had been here, and more than just a couple of times over the past few years. “Also, it has been a while since we’ve played chess,” he commented.

“Looking to lose again?”

Malfoy smirked. “Hardly. I wish to even the score.”

“You won’t succeed, but I suppose I could humor you,” Snape said, glancing over at Lucius before looking back at him and then his own cauldrons.

Harry had finished his potion during their conversation and cleaned up. He wanted out of here. He saw no use in telling him that he was leaving because he didn’t care anyway. This had been such an odd, confusing day, and it wasn’t even over yet.

~~~~~~~~~

Severus heard Potter walking out the door, and glanced over at his retreating back. He wished Lucius would leave, too, but it didn’t seem as if the aristocrat was ready to go just yet. “Is there something that you require?”

“I’m curious. Why was Harry Potter in your lab?” Lucius asked.

“Working,” Severus replied simply. Knowing that wouldn’t be good enough, he continued. “He and I have an arrangement already, so he requested use of my lab to practice.”

“And you allowed that?” He seemed surprised, and Severus didn’t blame him. There was no reason for him to have done so, and he couldn’t explain that.

Severus nodded. “Yes, he is not over that often and does not inconvenience me too greatly.”

Lucius was silent for a moment before speaking again. “Is there also a reason as to why you couldn't keep your eyes off him?”

Severus glared at him before going back to his work. “I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Of course, you don’t,” Lucius replied, but it was clear that he didn’t buy that.

“He is in my lab, and his skills are poor at best, so yes, I have to make sure he won’t blow anything up.”

Lucius nodded. “So, you admit that you are looking at him? And you can see what he’s doing from your vantage point, and with the quick glances you gave him?”

Severus glared at him again. “Do you have a point?”

Lucius just gave him a smile. “You forget how well I know you, Severus,” he told him. “It was a bit… out of the ordinary. So, how about next Saturday for our chess game? And 7:00 for dinner tonight?”

Severus nodded, glad for the change of subject. He would have thrown him out if he’d continued asking questions. At least, that was one thing - he knew when not to press things. He knew their conversation wasn’t over, though. “Fine.”

“Very well. I will see you tonight. Don’t be late, you know how Narcissa hates that.” With that, he left.

Severus shook his head. Lucius knew he had been avoiding them. It wasn’t that he was opposed to dinner at the Malfoys’. It just wasn’t his world. Now, he had to go through an entire dinner with them, which included drinks, dessert and talking - fantastic. He wasn’t a great conversationalist either. He could hardly wait. 

Potter came back first. He was quiet and just went to work. Monroe showed up later to finish the second half of the potion he was working on. It hadn’t been Severus’ first choice to have an apprentice. After all, he had never much like teaching. Monroe had been one of his best students, though, so he took him up on his offer when he wrote to him, requesting for him to take him on as his apprentice. 

Monroe didn’t stay long. As soon as he finished his potion, he called him over. Severus walked over and examined it. It was nearly perfect, and most people would be hard-pressed to find better. He nodded. “You may leave.” Monroe nodded, knowing better than to expect any praise from him.

Severus could feel Potter’s eyes on him. He returned it for a brief moment before going back to work. It annoyed him that Lucius had noticed. He was glad that his old friend had taken the hint because he had tried to explain it, but he hadn’t bought it. What else was there to say? He could see what Potter was doing. Besides, he couldn’t just stand next to him and watch him. He had work to do.

Towards the end of the day, and Severus had to remind himself that it wasn’t a contract date. Potter couldn’t have more. It had become a habit for him to go over and give him his next dose. That wasn’t part of the deal. He did, however, go over to make sure he wasn’t going to destroy the place. The potion was fine though it could be improved. It was not, however, his job to critique it when the potion wasn’t going to be ruined. Therefore, he turned away. That is until Potter’s voice stopped him.

“So, who was he?” He’s _still on that?_ Severus thought to himself. Why did Potter even care? “If it’s not a big deal, then it shouldn’t be a problem. I’m only curious because I didn’t think you liked others in your lab since you watch me so closely.”

Severus turned around to face him. “As I said before, it is none of your business. If you must know, he is my apprentice, Zacharias Monroe. You probably don’t remember him from school, as he is a few years older than you and was in my house. He was one of my best students, or I wouldn’t have taken him on.”

Potter nodded. “Oh.”

Severus turned around and went to work. “If you are done, you can see yourself out.”

Potter nodded. “See you in a few days, Severus,” he said. “Just a bit odd that you don’t seem to watch him as much as you watch me, even though you gave me the impression that you watch anyone working in your lab.” Severus froze, then turned to see Potter’s retreating back as he left.


	12. Chapter 12

After Potter had left, Severus was in more of a sour mood than usual. That insolent brat Potter thought he could say whatever he wanted. It wasn’t as if there was any truth to it. There was no reason why he would want to look at Potter more than he had to. _Though Lucius had made a comment on it, as well,_ he thought to himself. There couldn’t be any truth to it, though, because it was Potter for one thing and absolutely ridiculous for another. He had never wanted to cancel on the Malfoys so much in his life because he just wanted to eat dinner at his place, alone with a drink and to follow his solitary dinner by going to bed. But no, he had agreed to go to dinner at Malfoy Manor, and one did not cancel such plans once they had agreed. He also knew full well that Narcissa would drag him there if she had to.

Severus groaned as he finished up work, and went upstairs. He took a shower, before going into his bedroom and putting on a fresh pair of robes. If any of the Malfoys found out that he had gone to dinner at their manor wearing the same robes he’d been working in all day, he’d never hear the end of it. It wasn’t as if any of them understood the concept of a hard day’s work, anyway.

He waited as long as he could, but as the time ticked nearer, he knew that he needed to leave. He would love nothing more than to stay home and avoid the whole situation but he  _had_ already agreed to go. It wasn’t that Severus had been avoiding them lately, exactly. He didn’t truly consider himself a workaholic, either, though he knew most probably would. There was nothing wrong with  _wanting_ to work.

Severus went to the fireplace and Flooed to Malfoy Manor. A nervous house elf nearly tripped over himself in shock as he stepped out of the fireplace. As he dusted himself off, he looked down at the timid creature. “Tell your Master that I have arrived,” he said, his voice expressionless. The elf nodded before popping away, and mere moments later, Lucius Malfoy strode into the room.

“Ah, Severus, you’ve arrived,” he said, matter-of-factly.

“I said I would, didn’t I?” His own reply was not quite so pleasant, and he knew that the blond would hear the snarky tone of voice. He didn’t much care if he did notice it

“Yes, yes, of course,” Lucius said, waving his hand as if Severus hadn’t spoken at all. “Shall we?” He gestured to the door behind, but turned and left without a second word - expecting his old friend to follow. Severus groaned but continued after him. It was the reason why he had come after all.

Severus was led into a sitting room, where Narcissa and Draco were waiting. Narcissa immediately got to her feet and walked up to him. She gave him a kiss on his cheek. “It’s been too long, Severus,” she told him. “You don’t come nearly as often as you should.”

“Yes, well, I am quite busy, Narcissa,” he told her.

“Of course, but hopefully, next time, I don’t have to send Lucius to come and invite you personally.”

 _A rather nice way of saying that he’ll come fetch me_ , Severus thought to himself. It wasn’t as if he was at their beck and call. His thoughts were distracted by Draco speaking next. “Yes, you could come over more.” He still sounded like an impudent child, he noted - the spoiled brat. Severus hoped the conversation wouldn’t continue, because, to be quite frank, he had no wish to continue to defend the fact that he had a job that took up a great deal of his time. Luckily for him, Lucius interrupted.

“None of this is important now,” he said. “We mustn't be rude. Severus is our guest.” The blond turned to him. “Care for something to drink?”

Of course, leave it Lucius to want things to be proper no matter what. “Scotch, please,” he replied. He would need the alcohol to get through this night. This was far out of his comfort zone, and he was going to need some assistance to get through it without wanting someone to hex him.

Lucius stood up and snapped his fingers. A quivering house elf appeared before him. “Scotch! Now!” The quivering house elf disappeared with a ‘pop, third degree’ and Lucius sat down in one swift motion as if it had been the most natural thing in the world. The elf returned a short time later and handed the drink to Severus. He had to remind himself to savor it because it wouldn’t do to be getting drunk while having dinner with the Malfoys. That wasn’t exactly a hard thing for him to do either.

Severus knew that if he wanted to keep the conversation off of himself, he needed to make sure to do that quickly. He turned to Draco. “So, how has work been going lately, Draco?” He asked. “Are you working on something interesting?” In truth, he really didn’t care, but asking Draco a question about what he was working on right now was good for one thing and one thing only - the arrogant prat would rattle on about it for ages. This left no time for anyone to ask him about anything.

“Oh, just brilliant,” Draco said. “You know, I got a raise last month. I know that I don’t need the money, but of course, why wouldn’t they give me more money for all the great work that I do?” Severus would have rolled his eyes if he could have done so and gotten away with it. “Like a few months ago, I was working on a salve to heal burns faster. The current method is a bit slow for second and third-degreeburns. I was working on a way to make the whole process faster, and it’s coming along. Of course, I would appreciate your advice, but anyway, I was…”

Draco went on like that for a while, and if Severus was honest with himself, he wasn’t really listening. For all his skills in Potions, the boy couldn’t tell when someone was only asking him something to get people off of himself. Severus, of course, was good at pretending as if he was listening. The younger Malfoy went on and on about the burn potion, before switching to another potion that he was working on and another… At about this point, Narcissa got up to check on dinner with the house elves, so she didn’t have to interrupt their conversation - albeit, a one-sided conversation.

Severus found it interesting when Draco would come to a point in the conversation when he wanted to talk about how great he was but obviously felt that was being too arrogant. It left him with this funny and strained look on his face until he got past that part of the story. Severus would laugh if that wouldn’t seem a bit out of place at this point in time. Narcissa arrived back a short time later to announce that dinner was ready. The group moved into the informal dining room, which in his opinion, was still much too large for a family of three.

The salad for the first course came out, and Draco kept on talking. “Oh, and did I mention? I got a job offer from the Magical Researching Institute.” The Magical Researching Institute had various departments for various branches of magic. They worked on the cutting edge of magic, but positions were hard to come by for most. An offer from them was most prestigious. “They heard of my work with St. Mungo’s and tried to recruit me. I turned them down of course because it’s a contract-based company. It just doesn’t make sense logically, because I’d be leaving a full-time job. Though of course, I was very honored.”

 _I bet you were,_ Severus thought to himself. As if the boy’s ego needed anymore stroking. He knew that he wasn’t really helping in that respect, but getting Draco talking had done exactly what he wanted it to do. The salads were finished while Draco talked in between bites, and then the next course was brought out - pan-seared lemon and rosemary salmon, with white rice and roasted vegetables. As usual, their houses elves had done a good job.

About halfway through, it was clear that Lucius was getting quite annoyed with his son’s monopoly of the conversation. “Do be quiet now, Draco,” he said, a warning note in his voice. “You haven’t ceased speaking since Severus asked you that simple question. Dinner conversation is supposed to be just that - a conversation, not a one-sided tell-all of your life.”

 _Damn, well, at least that got me halfway through dinner,_ Severus thought to himself. He hadn’t really expected it to go on much longer. Draco, to his credit, muttered a quick sorry to the others at the table, and then kept quiet. He knew better than to cross his father though there was a slight pout on his lips, he noticed.

“So, how has your work been going?” Narcissa asked, trying to break the awkward silence. “Are you still training that apprentice?”

Severus nodded. “Business has been going well. I have been quite busy lately trying to keep up with keeping the storefront fully stocked as well as the orders that I receive,” he explained. He didn’t really want to go into much detail because he doubted that anyone here but Draco would even care. “And yes, I am still working with Zacharias. He’s doing quite well, and shouldn’t be working with me too much longer.”

“Severus also has another visitor to his lab that he’s failing to mention,” Lucius said, a smirk crossing his pale lips.

Severus glared at him. Of course, leave to his _old friend_ to bring that little point up. Narcissa and Draco looked at him curiously, and he knew that he needed to respond, or Lucius would respond for him. “It is nothing,” he said simply. “I have a contract with Harry Potter, and he has been making use of my lab during that time. That is all.”

Draco’s face twisted into a look of confusion. “Why in the world would you want to have a contract with _Potter_?”

“It is not a matter of _want_ ,” he explained. “Potions are my profession. If someone comes and wants to have a contract with me so that I will make some potions for them, I will do just that provided they pay me the proper amount. It is my job, as you should understand full well.”

“Is that the only reason?” Lucius asked that blasted smirk still on his face.

Severus narrowed his eyes. “Yes.” Draco hadn’t noticed the exchange, but Narcissa had. She didn’t say anything but merely looked between them. To her credit, she changed the conversation again after that as dinner wound down, and dessert was brought out. It was a rich, decadent trifle. He wasn’t even that hungry after dinner and the salad but ended up eating the dessert anyway. He wasn’t much of a sweets person, and it was enough to hold him off until the next time he came over.

They sat there, making small talk, until Lucius asked, “How about a nightcap in the study before you leave?” Severus nodded, knowing that if he refused, the blond would just insist. He noticed Draco looked a bit put out and not being invited, but Narcissa got up and said her goodbyes to him. She made him promise not to go so long without coming over again before ushering Draco out.

Lucius lead him out, and up the stairs to his private study. He took a seat in an armchair, motioning for Severus to do the same. With a wave of his wand, a drawer in his study had opened up. Two glasses floated, and Lucius directed one towards him. The bottle filled up both glasses, before being sent back to the desk.

The two sat there in silence, sipping on their drinks before Lucius spoke. “So, you seemed quite… interested in Potter while I was there this morning.”

Severus glared at him, wishing the bastard would leave well enough alone. “You are mistaken.”

A smirk crossed his lips, and all he wanted to do was smack it off. The aristocrat thought he knew everything. “No, I don’t think I am.”

“He is a careless, foolish young man and I have every right to watch him while he has use of my lab,” Severus said, a defensive tone his voice.

“Of course you do,” Lucius said, but it was clear that this was not the end of this conversation. Severus was not going to stick around any longer to find out what else his friend thought he saw, though.

Without another word, he downed his drink. “Thank you for dinner,” he said before getting up and leaving the room. Severus walked down to the main Floo and Flooed home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, Harry had been quite put out after leaving Snape’s lab. Every encounter with the man was leaving him more and more confused, and now, he had his reaction to the man’s apprentice, Monroe, on his mind as well. He had found the man attractive, and he tried to tell himself that it wasn’t a big deal. Somehow, though, he wasn’t buying that. This whole thing was just… It left a knot in the pit of his stomach, and he didn’t know what he could do to get rid of it.

Harry had been quite distracted as he walked home, and didn’t come out of it until he nearly ran into someone. There was a flash of long, blonde hair as the other body collided briefly with his own. “Er, sorry, I didn’t mean to, I was just -” It was then that he looked up to see whom the head of hair belonged, and was pleased to see his friend, Luna, looking up at him. “Luna! I thought you were out of the country.”

She nodded. “Hi, Harry, and I was until a few days ago,” she told him. “I helped out my dad for a bit, and I’m heading out again tomorrow.”

“Where are you going this time?”

“Russia, there’s some quite fascinating things there, you know.” She frowned at him a bit. “You look worried. Is there something wrong?”

Harry opened his mouth to his respond but didn’t know where to start. “It’s just… I have a lot going on right now. It’s hard to explain. I’ve been using Snape’s lab to practice potions, and it’s just… it’s complicated.”

“It’s okay; you don’t have to explain,” Luna told him. Then, she reached into a bag he hadn’t noticed. “Do you need a butterbeer cork necklace to keep away the nargles?” She pulled out just that, holding the necklace out for him to see. “Sometimes, potions fumes have bad energy and need to be dispersed.”

Harry just smiled. He always forgot why he liked Luna so much. “No, thanks, though.”

She shrugged, and put the necklace back in her bag. “Suit yourself.”

“Er, how about dinner?” Harry asked. It would be a nice way to get out of his head.

“I’m afraid not. I promised Dad I’d have dinner before I leave tomorrow,” she said. “I’ll be back in a couple of weeks. I’ll come over, and then I can play with your… telly.”

 _Great,_ Harry thought to himself. That was another few hours of him watching Luna mindlessly flip through channels without stopping while he tried to yank the remote out her hand and eventually gave up. “Sounds like a plan.”

Luna smiled at him. “Great. I’ll see you then.” She gave him a hug, and he wished her well in Russia before they parted ways.

Harry went home immediately after that and took a shower. He planned on starting dinner after that, but as soon as he got into the kitchen, he heard the Floo from behind him. He turned around, and there was Hermione Granger standing his living room. “Hey, Hermione.”

“Hi, Harry. Ron’s working late, so I thought maybe we could hang out tonight, just the two of us.”

He shrugged. “Sure, I was just about to start dinner.” They made small talk as he cooked, and within twenty minutes or so, dinner was ready.

“Smells delicious, Harry,” Hermione told him.

“So, what’s Ron working late on?”

She shrugged. “He didn’t say. He doesn’t want to talk about it yet. They’ve been talking about expanding, though, so maybe they’re getting serious about that. He’s been working later and later recently.”

They made small talk during dinner until they finished eating. Harry sat back down at the table. “What’s bothering you?” Hermione asked.

Harry just stared at her. “Nothing.”

She gave him that look - the one that said, “I’m smarter than you, and I’m your best friend. You can’t lie to me.”

Harry groaned. “Okay, fine…” He went to tell her what had been going on lately - how Snape had been watching him for no apparent reason but rebuffed him every time he tried to mention it. He mentioned the apprentice, how he hadn’t liked the fact that he was there even though he found him attractive.

Hermione groaned when he finished. “Honestly, Harry. You’re so daft sometimes, and between you and Ron, _you’re_ supposed to be the smart one.” He gave her a confused look. “You’re obviously attracted to guys.”

Harry stared at her. “What?”

Hermione rubbed her temples for a moment before continuing. “You’re attracted to guys, Harry, you always have been,” she told him. “I always thought so.”

“How?”

“I’m your best friend; I can tell. And I’m not Ron.” Hermione took a sip of her drink before continuing. “First of all, there was Cedric Diggory.”

“I wasn’t -” She quelled him with a look, and a sense of defeat washed over him.

“There’s also your year-long obsession with Draco Malfoy, and that’s not the start of that, either, but I won’t go into that.”

“I wasn’t -” There was that look again. “Fine.” He sighed. “There was also Tom Riddle,” Harry admitted.

“What?” He had shocked her with that one.

“Back when he was younger, I’m the only one that saw him, I think, but he was quite… attractive… back in the day, you know, before he went crazy and distorted himself.”

Hermione nodded. “That I didn’t know.”

“It’s not as if I was going to tell anyone,” he told her. “And what about Cho and Ginny?”

Hermione sighed. “Sexuality is complicated. It varies from person to person, and can be along different shades of grey,” she told him. “Having feelings for Cho and Ginny doesn’t mean that you aren’t still attracted to guys. It doesn’t mean that you’re gay, and it doesn’t mean that aren’t, either. You liked Cho and Ginny for who they were, and neither of them were overly feminine, either. Besides, like I said, you liked them for who they were, not because they were girls. And anyway, sexuality can be fluid, Harry. You could also be bisexual or pansexual; there is no binary of gay or straight.”

Harry just sat there and let that dawn on him. So, he was at the very least bisexual or pansexual. How did he even go about figuring this out? He could feel a headache coming on. He groaned.

“Come on, Harry, don’t think about it too much,” she told him. “You’ll make yourself crazy. Don’t worry about it too much right now. I’m sure you’ll figure it out in time.” Harry nodded, but he couldn't help but worry about it. “Now, about this thing with Snape that you complained about. All I can tell you is that you need to either confront him about it or let it go.”

“I tried to tell him, but he won’t listen,” Harry insisted. “He always rebuffs me or tells me I’m imagining things or whatever.”

“Then let it go,” Hermione told him. “There’s nothing else you can do.”

That wasn’t what Harry wanted to hear, but he knew she was right. This whole conversation had given him more to think about than he wanted to admit. Even though he was attracted to Monroe on some level, he had been bothered by him being there, and that hadn’t been why. Whatever was going on between him and Snape was complicated. Harry didn’t want to think about it, but he couldn’t think about anything else.

And somehow, he knew that this all had something to do with Snape and how weird things had been between them lately.

Hermione left soon afterwards. Harry’s head was swimming with more thoughts than he could handle right now. He went to bed, hoping that the next few days would be different.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few days were very hard on Harry. It was the biggest stretch between doses he had suffered through so far. He had to work harder to even get out of bed because all he wanted to do was just go and get the potion and be done with it. That wasn’t how it worked, though, because they had a contract. Dealing with it was easier said than done, though.

Harry didn’t go back to the lab until the next contract date. He almost thought about not going. He hoped that maybe Snape had snapped out of whatever it was that had caused him to keep looking at him all the time, but he didn’t. Harry couldn’t help but look up to see if he was looking or going to look, and then had to remind himself that he didn’t care. It bugged him, though. Snape said it was because he didn’t trust him in his lab. He had even told him that the other day as he was leaving. He thought he was a good point! After all, if Snape supposedly didn’t trust anyone in his lab, then why did he pay only minimal attention to his apprentice yet never stopped looking at Harry? There was something else.

Before he left for lunch, Harry stopped and turned around. Part of him said that he should keep his mouth shut, but he couldn’t. “Why don’t you come to lunch with me?” He knew how stupid the words sounded as soon as they were out of his mouth.

Snape turned around and glared at him. “Pardon me, Potter?”

“I asked if you wanted to join me for lunch,” Harry said again, doing his best to keep his voice even. “You said you don’t trust anyone in your lab, right? It’s logical then that you should accompany me because then there’s absolutely zero chance that I could ever come back when you’re not there. Say, for instance, if I finish my lunch early.”

Snape continued to glare. “Are you trying to joke with me, because I do not find it amusing.”

“Not all. It just makes sense. After all, if you don’t think it’s a big deal for me to be alone in your lab for a bit, then there’s really no reason for you to keep looking at me so much, is there?”

Snape continued to glare, and in fact, his glare seemed to intensify. Harry hadn’t thought that was possible. “You’re imagining things.” With that, he turned around and went back to work.

Harry sighed, rolling his eyes and went to lunch. When he got back, he went back to work. He noticed that Snape wasn’t glancing over at him. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. The thing he did notice was that he wasn’t relieved and probably should have been. It was a weird, confused feeling. For the rest of the day, he noticed Snape trying to do anything _but_ look at him. In fact, he never turned back towards him at all. Today was a contract date, though, so towards the end of the day, Snape had to come over and give him his potion. Harry tried to avoid his gaze and keep working. As soon as he was done, he rushed out of there, the whole thing leaving him confused and conflicted.


	13. Chapter 13

Harry tried to do anything but think about Snape during the next few days, but that was harder than he thought. It seemed as if the more he tried not to think about him, the harder it was to think of anything else. Meanwhile, Hermione’s words were going around inside of his head. It left him, for the most part, feeling like a jumbled mess. It didn’t help that being off the potion made him feel like holing himself up in his room and never coming out. He tried to tell himself that it was okay to feel like this, but it only left him feeling that it was anything  _but_ okay. It made him feel like there was something wrong with him for not being okay, despite being told that it was perfectly normal, how he was feeling. Well, fuck them. They weren’t living his life. No one knew a fucking thing.

The whole thing with Snape, however, was driving him up the wall. He didn’t know what to do about that, and Hermione seemed to think that he should either talk to him or let it go. Neither seemed to be a really good option if you asked him because he tried the former and the latter was easier said than done. Where did that leave him? What did he do?

There was another five-day gap between doses, too, and that always left Harry on edge. He wasn’t sure what else to do, so he tried to concentrate on his studies and the plan that Hermione had given him. More often than not, though, he just let it go and watched television. With the contract date not until Saturday, Harry decided to go back to the lab on Thursday. Part of him wondered, after what had happened, if he should go back at all. But he needed to practice, and that was the only place to do it. He was stuck there and stuck with Snape.

As usual, when Harry arrived at Snape’s lab that morning, the potions master was already there. This time, though, he didn’t look at him once. For some reason, it bothered Harry. After all, he had spent so much time looking at him, now that he said something about it, he’s going to stop? What the fuck is up with that? He wanted to scream at him, but he knew Snape would only scream back and then proceed to throw him out. For the most of the rest of the morning, Snape wouldn’t look at him. He never turned back, and with Monroe not there today, he had no reason to come back this way at all. It wasn’t a contract date, either. Harry told himself this is what he wanted. He never wanted Snape to keep looking at him, to act like he couldn’t take his eyes off him. This is what he wanted - for the potions master to leave him alone.

If that were true, though, then why did it bug Harry so much?

As Harry was cleaning up his cauldron for lunchtime, he looked up and caught Snape’s gaze from the front cauldrons. He immediately averted his gaze, as did Snape. He couldn’t help himself! No matter what happened, he always had to look over at him, and it wasn’t as if Harry was doing anything differently than he did every other day he was here. He had even tried, or so it seemed to Harry now, but yet, there he had been, looking over at him when he was just cleaning. Harry looked up at him again, seeing if he would turn his gaze again. As luck would have it, he did, and before Harry could stop himself, he had blurted something rather stupid out of his mouth. “If you don’t mind me being here, then why can’t you take your eyes off me?” The other man’s black eyes narrowed, and Harry got out of there as fast he could.

Harry spent the entire time he was eating lunch thinking about how stupid he was. Where had that comment even come from? What was wrong with him? As he went back to the lab to work for the afternoon, he wondered if he was going to be barred from entering and find his stuff sitting outside. HIs heart was racing as he walked up to the back door, and found it unlocked as it always was when he was working there. He tip-toed into the lab, wondering when he was going to be kicked out.

However, that didn’t happen. Snape, again, spent most of the afternoon trying to ignore him. Harry would catch him glancing over at him, though. It wasn’t as much, though, but it really did seem as if he was  _trying_ not to look, but couldn’t help but to just glance over to see what he was doing - or something to that effect. It was leaving Harry more and more confused and conflicted, because he still wasn’t entirely sure what it was that was going on here.

Harry darted out of there as soon as he could when he was done, and spent the next couple of days - again - trying not to think about Snape. At all. It didn’t work, though, because Saturday rolled around and it was another contract date. He _had_ to go see him whether he liked it or not. He put it off the entire day, though. After he ate dinner, though, he knew it was time to go and get it. After all, if he woke Snape up to get it, he might not get the dosage _at all_.

Harry took a deep breath as he neared the door, and luckily, at this time of day, Diagon Alley was relatively empty. He knocked on the door, which then opened without another thought. There was no one on the other side, though. He slowly walked in, and heard a voice calling from upstairs. “Up here, Potter!” It was definitely Snape, and he was sounded a bit annoyed,  too.

Harry walked up the stairs, where the light was on. The scene he walked in on was not what he had expected.

Harry had expected to see Severus sitting and reading, with a drink in his hand. Instead, both of the arm chairs were now facing each other. There was a table in between them, where a chess board was set up. Things were pretty close, by the look of it - Snape was black, and Lucius Fucking Malfoy was playing white. He had totally forgotten that the older Malfoy was going to be here tonight, or he would have avoided it and come earlier.

Both of them had put their outer robes on the back of the chair, leaving them in slacks and button-up shirts. Snape’s shirt was black, of course, while Lucius’s was white. Their sleeves were pushed back. The game looked pretty much even, as they both had a handful of pieces left. They both seemed to be ignoring the fact that he was even there, that is, until Lucius decided to speak up.

“Come to play the winner, Potter?” Lucius said, glancing at him before looking back at the chess board and making another move.

Harry quickly shook his head. “No, thanks. I lose enough to Ron. I don’t need to add either of you to that list.”

“That’s wise.”

“No, Potter and I have an arrangement, as I have already explained to you,” Snape said, though he didn’t even look at him.

“I can leave if -” Harry started, but he was cut off.

“No, you are supposed to be here,” Snape said curtly. “Your potion will be completed shortly, and this game will be over by then.”

A smirk crossed the face of Lucius Malfoy. “Don’t get cocky, Severus. You forget I taught you to play.”

“And you forget that I beat you more often than not,” Snape said, “and I believe it’s about to be seven in a row.”

“I don’t think so.” Malfoy moved his rook. “Check.”

It was Snape’s turn to smirk this time. “Checkmate.” He moved his knight, and leaned back his chair, grabbing his glass of amber liquid that was floating in midair. Harry hadn’t noticed it before, but they both had glasses floating along with a bottle that was floating nearby.

Malfoy’s smirk turned into a frown. “I demand a rematch.”

“Of course you do.” The smirk was still playing Snape’s face as he sipped his liquid. “First, though, I must take care of Potter.” He got up, and walked right past him, and went down the stairs. This left Harry in the room, alone, with Lucius Malfoy.

Malfoy grabbed his glass, and then turned his chair to look at him. “So, you come over quite often under your… arrangement with Severus?”

Harry shrugged. “Couple times a week. Why?”

“Curious, that’s all.” Malfoy took another sip.

Harry desperately wanted Snape back up here, because he did not like being alone with Malfoy. Luckily for him, at that moment, he heard Snape’s footsteps up the stairs. The vial was in his hand, and he handed it to him. Their fingers brushed for a moment as he handed over the vial, causing them both to jerk back a bit. “Er, thanks.”

Snape nodded in response as he went back to his seat across from Malfoy. “If there’s nothing else, Potter, you may go now.”

Harry just stood there for a moment. “Okay. I’ll see you later, then, Severus.” He didn’t miss the smirk Lucius Malfoy was giving them as he pushed his long, blond hair off his shoulders. Meanwhile, Harry just had no idea what to think seeing them both acting so nonchalant, and just.. He turned and left, deciding it would be better if he left the weird scene behind him.

What was the world coming to? Yeah, he had figured that after last week, they were friends. Seeing it, however, was a different story. They were bantering, and playing chess casually with their robes off and sleeves pushed up and… He couldn’t help but think that the whole thing was just bizarre as he walked down the stairs. The other thing that was bugging him was that when their fingers had touched, he had felt…. something. A jolt, or… he couldn’t explain it. Snape had felt it, too, though. That was obvious, because he had quickly taken his hand away.

Harry was even more confused now than he had been before.

~~~~~~~~~~~

After Potter had left, Severus turned his attention back to Lucius, and reset the chess board. “Do you wish to lose again?”

Lucius, however, seemed to have other ideas. “You don’t even want to talk about that?”

“Talk about what?”

Lucius rolled his eyes. “You may have gotten out of the conversation last week, Severus, but I won’t let you skirt around it this time,” he told him. “You tolerate Potter’s presence here for a couple times a week, and you were very quick to make sure that you were _not_ touching him when you handed him the vial.”

Severus looked up at him, and glared at him. “Are you going to start the game sometimes this century?”

Lucius waved his hand. “Yes, yes, don’t get testy.” He moved a pawn. “Are you going to answer my query?”

“There’s nothing to answer.”

“Don’t argue with me. I know you too well for that.”

Severus looked up, glaring at him as he, too, moved a pawn. “I don’t know what you were talking about.”

“Yes, you do.” Lucius moved another piece.

Severus continued to glare, and if it wasn’t for the fact that they had started another game, he would throw his blond arse out the back door. However, he wanted to beat him at chess again, and that required having Lucius right where he was.  He hoped he would take the hint and leave off the conversation about Potter, but apparently, that was merely wishful thinking.

“So, you don’t want to talk about how last time I was here, you couldn’t keep your eyes off him? In contrast, this time, you didn’t look at him at all,” Lucius said as they continued to play.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Of course not,” Lucius said, that dreaded smirk still playing on his lips. “It’s curious, isn’t it, though?”

“No, it isn’t.”

Lucius knew he was hitting a sore spot, though, or he wouldn’t continue to badger him about it. “I fervently disagree,” he told him. “For instance, last time I checked, you couldn’t stand the boy. Yet these are not the actions of a man who hates Harry Potter.”

“What are you getting at?” Severus snarled, but of course, Lucius was not intimidated by that.

“And also, another very curious thing that happened,” Lucius said, continuing to ignore the fact that Severus wanted him to shut up.

“Oh, and what would that be?”

“When you handed Potter the vial, you both jerked away quite quickly,” Lucius said. “Such a curious thing, don’t you think?”

“No, I don’t,” he snapped, but he remembered quite clearly what he was talking about. He had felt a jolt when their fingers and touched. It was not something that he wanted to feel. He wanted to forget it happened, so he jerked away and kicked Potter out.

“I think it’s quite interesting,” Lucius said.

“It’s not.”

“Your failure to admit it just means that I’m right,” Lucius said, “and I do _so_ love being right. I love winning, too, and I think I’m winning this game.” Lucius smirked as he grabbed his glass and took a sip.

Severus looked down at the chess board, and realized that Lucius was right. He had been so furious at his old friend picking away at what was going on between him and Potter - which was nothing, by the way - he had not paid a single piece of attention to the game. He wasn’t sure he could still win, because Lucius had played him into a corner and in record time, too.

“No comment, Severus?” Lucius taunted.

Severus glared at him. He knew better than to leave his guard down around him, even when it came to chess. “So, you’re going to win one game. I fail to see how that’s a big deal, since I beat you seven times in a row.”

“Yes, but your winning streak is over, my old friend.” With that, Lucius moved a piece. “Checkmate.”

Severus watched as his king was taken. “I take it you are going to leave, then?”

Lucius grabbed his glass, smirking at him, obviously quite amused with himself. “I thought I could stay, and we could continue our little chat about Potter.”

“No.”

“Very well, then,” Lucius said. “Same time next week?” Severus nodded. “Have a good night, Severus.” He downed his drink, straightening out his sleeves and putting his robe back on. He started to walk towards the fireplace to Floo back to Malfoy Manor. As he reached the fireplace, though, he turned back. “You know, Severus, you are obviously attracted to the boy if you would look at the situation long enough to see what’s going on. And while I do _not_ approve, if you want to fuck the boy, just do it and get it over with. You both might feel better about everything once you have.”

Severus’s gaze got deadly, but Lucius was Flooing away before he could say another word.

Lucius was wrong. Quite wrong. He did not want to… He’d never want to… That was _not_ what was going on. There was no way it was…

Severus downed his drink and poured himself another glass.

He did _not_ want to fuck Potter. He didn’t.

He downed that glass, too, before deciding it was best just to go to bed and end this miserable day.

He did _not_ want to fuck Potter.

~~~~~~~~~~

Severus tried to think about anything but Potter, and… anything Lucius might have suggested. There was no truth to it, so no reason why he would need to think about it. He spent the entirety of the next day doing just that. Once Monday came along, though, there he was. Potter had shown up to practice his potions. Severus felt everything that he had been struggling so hard to not think about come rushing back at him. Potter asking him why he couldn’t keep his eyes off him, which there was _obviously_ no truth to, and Lucius accusing him of wanting to… No.

Severus tried his best not to look at him. He didn’t want to. There was no reason to look. For the most part, he succeeded. That is, until lunchtime rolled around. He couldn’t help but look back and wonder if Potter was going to try and say something today or just leave. It was just out of curiosity that he was looking, of course. There was no other reason for him to do so.

Potter looked up, and their eyes met. Severus looked away, and went back to his work. He was content to do so until he heard Potter talking to him from behind him. “Severus, if it isn’t such a big deal for me to be alone here, then there’s no reason for you to watch me is there?”

Severus turned and looked at him, trying to decipher the tone in his voice. It wasn’t one he was used to Potter using around him. Before he could say anything, though, Potter, continued.

“So, if you feel the need to… keep an eye on me, then why don’t you come to lunch with me?” Potter asked again. “It’s _only_ logical, right?”

Severus was about to tell him to get out, because he wanted nothing to do with him. However, he heard Potter asking him why he always stared at him. He heard Lucius’s voice saying that he wanted to sleep with him. He would probably tell him that if he said no, it was because he wanted to take the boy to bed. “I begrudgingly admit that you might have point,” he said. “Very well.”

Potter smiled at him briefly, before it disappeared. “Good. Er, I know of a Muggle diner that I go to. We won’t get much attention there.”

Severus nodded, and waved his hand, putting his potions in stasis. He then slipped his robes off his shoulders, leaving himself in just a white button-up shirt and a pair of black slacks. Potter blinked at him, but to his credit, didn’t say anything. He walked past Potter, putting his robe on a hook that hung near the stairs. He’d need it for when he came back. “Unless you have something better to do, Potter, I suggest we get going,” he snapped. “I have work to complete.”

Potter blinked at him again. “Right. Er, let’s go,” he said quickly. “I have another potion I need to complete, too.” With that, Potter walked past him and out the back door.

Severus waved his wand over the back door, putting a spell on it to protect it from intruders. Monroe wasn’t due today, so he didn’t have to worry about him showing up. He would have done so already if he was. With that, he slipped his wand up his sleeve, putting it into the holster that he usually kept it in. Potter glanced at him, but didn’t say anything. It was then that Severus realized that he had never actually seen Potter’s wand since he had started coming over to his lab.

There was no way that Potter didn’t have his wand on him, not after what he had been through. Unless he was total idiot, but Severus did not believe that even Potter was _that_ stupid. It hadn’t even occurred to him that he would have a holster, too, but it was the only explanation. There must also be a concealment or disillusionment charm on it to hide it, which is why he had never noticed it.

The two of them reached the Leaky Cauldron in silence as they crossed into the Muggle World where they were going to be having lunch together. _This should be interesting_ , he thought to himself.


	14. Chapter 14

Harry led Snape down the familiar road out of the Leaky Cauldron. They turned a couple of times, and then they were at the diner that he had been frequenting since their contract had started. The staff all knew him by now and greeted him pleasantly. He led Snape over to his usual table, one off in the corner. As he sat down, he pushed the menu away. After all, he pretty much had it memorized by now, seeing as how he'd been coming here about twice a week for about a month now.

Snape raised an eyebrow. "You are quite familiar with this place," he noted. "And the staff seem quite familiar with you as, well."

Harry shrugged. "I go here every time I'm over at your lab," he explained.

About then, their waitress came over. "Hi, how are you doing?" She was very friendly, reasonably attractive and about five years older than him. She treated him well whenever she served him. "And you're not alone for once." She looked over at Snape before looking back at Harry. "What will you have to drink today?"

"Just water," Harry responded.

"Same," Severus echoed.

She walked away. Harry looked back at Severus, almost wishing he still had his menu. It was very awkward, just sitting there and waiting for… something, he wasn't sure. Their waitress came back and set their waters down on the table. "So, gentlemen, what can I get for you?" She turned to Harry. "The usual?" Harry nodded, hating that he was so predictable - about as much as he hated the smirk that was on Snape's lips at the moment. The waitress nodded before, turning to Snape. "And for you, sir?"

"Turkey sandwich."

"Okay, I'll put these right in. Chips okay for both of you?" They nodded. "Okay. Brilliant." She smiled and then walked off.

Harry looked straight at Snape. "Do you have to have that smirk on your face?"

"You're here so often and order the same thing so much that the waitress just tells you, 'the usual'?" Snape said.

Harry shrugged. "I know what I like."

"Have you even ordered anything else?" Harry glared at him. "I thought so." They sat there awkwardly for a couple of minutes until Snape spoke again. "So, how is your studying going?"

Harry blinked at him. "Er, what?"

"It's called conversation," Severus said, his voice thick with sarcasm. "It's typically what you do when eating a meal with someone."

Harry blushed. "Er, right, of course," he said. "Er, it's going okay. I mean, I don't study as much as I want to. Hermione made me a plan, but I don't stick to it all that well. It's not for lack of trying, though, it's just…" Harry shrugged his shoulders. He didn't want to go into details, so he settled on moving his straw around in his glass. "Practicing at your place is the only thing I regularly do."

To his surprise, Snape didn't berate him. "Since that was your worst subject in school, it is probably wise that you do that more than you do anything else." Well, no more than usual, anyway.

Harry looked up at him and smirked at him. "I suppose that's a good point," he said. "Although, I'm not sure it was my skills as much as the teacher himself." That earned him a glare. "I did get an E on the… to get into the advanced classes."

"Yes, because I was not the teacher."

"What, do you have five students in the class usually?" Harry asked. "There was only twelve in Slughorn's."

"Including Mr. Weasley, if memory serves."

"Yeah, that's right, Ron made it, too," Harry agreed.

"Well, at least, Mr. Longbottom didn't make it in."

"You know, he's going to be teaching at the school next year. He's quitting his job."

"I suppose he's teaching… about plants," Snape said. "That was his best subject, wasn't it?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, and he might be the youngest teacher ever, at least, the youngest since you." He tried to keep the smirk off his face.

"You say that as if it would matter to me."

"Well, you do have to be better than everyone at everything, don't you?" Harry knew he was just egging him on now, but honestly, he wasn't having a terrible time.

Snape stared at him for a moment before responding. "If Mr. Longbottom has beaten me out for the youngest teacher, that doesn't bother me a bit. I never wanted to be a teacher anyway."

"You weren't very good at it, either," Harry said, and this time, he was smirking. Luckily, they were interrupted by their food arriving.

Their waitress smiled at them. "Your turkey sandwich, sir," she said, setting the food down in front of Snape. "And your usual." She sat his burger down in front of him. "Anything else I can get for you?" They shook their heads. "Okay, let me know if you need anything else." With that, she smiled and walked off.

For a while, the two of them ate mostly in silence, except for a couple of comments about the food being good. Of course, it was, or Harry wouldn't have kept coming back here so many times. _What are we supposed to converse about?_ he thought to himself. Maybe he should have thought this through before he invited Severus to come out to lunch with him. He was more thinking of trying to get him to stop watching every move he made. Besides, if they had to spend time together, getting to know each other on a non-teacher/student level couldn't hurt, right?

"So, why did you decide to start your business?" Harry asked at one point when that silence was starting to annoy him a bit.

"I enjoyed the idea of working for myself," Snape said. "Working for other people has not been my forte."

"Yeah, I can imagine," Harry said, a smile on his face.

"What else would you have thought I could do?" Snape gave him a look that clearly said he didn't know why he had even asked.

Harry shrugged. "I don't know; I wasn't sure what else you would want to do. Hermione always assumed that you were the anonymous master behind the shop, though," he said.

"Of course, she would."

"Have you ever thought about writing a book?" Harry asked in a half-joking manner.

Snape stared at him. "Why would I do that?"

"Well, you were correcting textbooks when you were a teenager." After all, Snape had already known that Harry had used his book, so there was no use in not admitting that. Snape scoffed at him as if the idea was ludicrous. Harry just shrugged. "You wouldn't have to use your real name. You could use a pseudonym." Snape didn't respond to that one, either, and they ate in silence some more.

After they had finished their food, the two sat there for a bit longer before Harry asked for his check. Their waitress smiled and asked if everything had been good. They replied that it had, and then Harry paid before they made their way out to the street. Harry and Snape began the trek back to the Leaky Cauldron and into Diagon Alley. It wasn't long before they were at Snape's shop again.

"See, that wasn't too bad, was it?" Harry said, a cheeky smirk on his face.

Snape turned back to him and glared. "I admit that your company wasn't… terrible." Harry just smiled at him, knowing it would annoy him more than anything. The older man just rolled his eyes, put his robe back on and then went to work.

Harry shook his head but admitted to himself that he hadn't had a terrible time. A part of him figured that this was supposed to mean something. He wasn't sure what, though. Or if he was just crazy. That was always a possibility, as far as he was concerned.

Harry and Severus worked in silence for a bit before Harry left.

Ron was working late again, so Hermione decided to come over and visit. He didn't mind. It wasn't as if she and Ron were around all the time or anything. He had plenty of alone time.

"So, how are things going with Snape?" Hermione asked partway through dinner.

Harry shrugged. "Fine, I guess. We went to lunch today."

Hermione froze and stared at him. It was clear to him by the look on her face that she couldn't believe the words that came out of his mouth. "Wait, what?"

"Well, I got tired of him always staring at me, so I asked him to go to lunch with me."

Hermione frowned. "I don't understand."

"I mean, if he's going to watch me all the time, he might as well come to lunch with me," Harry said. "I mean, that way he knows I'm not going to get back ahead of him. Maybe after this, he'll be less judgemental."

Hermione nodded, but Harry could tell she wasn't completely convinced. "So, did it? I mean, how were things after you two came back?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. The same, I suppose. We'll see."

After dinner, the two of them went to the couch. Hermione had made them some tea. They were watching the telly when Ron Flooed in. "I thought you two would be here," he said. "Great news, Harry! Mum's throwing you a party on your birthday!"

Harry looked back at him and shrugged. "She does that every year."

"Yeah, but on your birthday, mate! She told everyone to be there, to get off work early," Ron said. Harry shrugged again. "I don't understand why you're not thrilled. It's a party."

"Yeah, if I wanted to do something on my birthday, I would have said so," Harry told him. "I don't want a party. I just want to hide and be left alone." As far as he was concerned, his birthday was no reason to celebrate. Also, his past year had been really hard. "Besides, that's a contract date, so I'm going to be in a really bad mood."

Ron walked over and sat next to him on the couch. "Look, mate, you turned down the party last year. Mum wants to do something for you, just like she does for all of us."

Harry groaned. Now he was making him feel guilty. Hermione put a gentle hand on his arm. "Hey, it might be fun. Besides, it's food that you don't have to cook, a cake… You can always leave early if you're not feeling up to it."

Harry nodded, knowing that he had been roped in now. "All right." The two of them left soon afterward. He just decided to go to bed. He was not thrilled with the idea of a party.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Severus begrudgingly admitted that Potter's company during lunch hadn't been terrible. A simple lunch wasn't going to change things though he had to admit that Potter had a point. He didn't trust Potter alone his lab, and if going to lunch with him meant that he could keep an eye on him and make sure he didn't get back before he did under any circumstances, then it was worth it. At least, he wouldn't have to cut his lunch short now on the off chance that Potter did return before he was finished eating and back down in the lab.

It wasn't until the next contract date three days later that he saw Potter again, thankfully. He showed up at the same time as he always did. Severus glanced back at him and saw Potter working on some potion. Potter glanced up and met his gaze. The potions master turned away and went back to his own work. It was then the door to his lab opened. Seeing as he wasn't expecting anyone else, Severus immediately turned his head around to see who dared walk into his lab without his permission.

It was Monroe. He wasn't expected today. "Sorry, sir, but I wanted to work on a potion before lunch if you don't mind," the young man said.

Severus just nodded and went back to his work. Monroe knew the drill, so he went over to his corner opposite Potter and went to work. The three of them worked in silence for a bit until lunch neared.

Monroe was cleaning up as he spoke once again. "Also, sir, I wanted to come by to invite you, in person, to my wedding next Spring," he said.

 _They finally set a date_ , Severus thought to himself. It didn't matter much to him, but he had been anticipating an invitation. Monroe was many things, but he knew that his apprentice would see it as logical and respectful to do so. It was a far cry from the arrogant young man he really was, but he rarely saw that young man around him. Monroe was always more respectful around him.

"We wanted to put it off until after the baby is born in November," Monroe continued, and he seemed not to care that his former teacher wasn't responding. "Rhapsody wants to get back into shape."

Severus turned around and walked over to Monroe's potion, not really caring to hear any more about him and his Ravenclaw fiancee. "Your potion is satisfactory. You may go," he told him, going back to his own work.

Monroe nodded. "I'll leave the invitation over here, sir," he said. "I hope you'll attend since you taking me on as an apprentice is probably a good reason as to why I'm going to be getting that job as a Potions Researcher at the Magical Researching Institute. Since I will get the job." Severus could almost hear the smirk in the young man's voice. "See you later, sir." With that, Monroe left.

"Magical Researching Institute?" Potter piped up. Severus had noticed that he had paid attention to their conversation. "What on Earth is that?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "How is it that you manage to know so little?" he said, a scathing tone to his voice. "It is a business, with departments for various branches of magic - Potions, Defense, Transfiguration, Charms, et cetera… The researchers employed there do cutting-edge research on various projects."

Potter nodded. "Oh, okay," he said. "Never heard of it."

"That much was obvious."

The rest of the day went by fairly quickly. Later that afternoon, he gave Potter his next dosage, and he left. Severus picked up the wedding invitation and put it on his desk. The next day was uneventful, but of course, Saturday was his next chess night with Lucius. Severus wasn't entirely looking forward to it, but then again, he would like to beat him again. The arrogant blond had taken advantage of their conversation last night. Severus wouldn't let that happen again.

Lucius, of course, arrived at the exact time that they had previously arranged. Severus already had their glasses and the bottle ready, as well as the chess set. The chairs were also in position. They began the match, their robes were thrown casually over the back of their chairs.

"So, how you have been, Severus?" Lucius asked about halfway through their first game.

"Fine," he told him. _If he thinks he's getting the better of me again, he's wrong,_ Severus thought to himself.

"Business is good?"

"Of course."

"And your arrangement with Potter?"

"What about it?" Severus asked, scathingly.

"Ah, so you haven't fucked the boy yet."

Severus shot Lucius a furious glare. "I want nothing to do with Potter," he said firmly. "I will be very glad when our contract is completed, and I never have to see him again."

Lucius just nodded and waved a hand at him. "If you say so."

Severus had spent the rest of the night wondering why Lucius would even think such a thing. He wanted nothing to do with Potter at all. He did manage to beat him in all three matches, which thoroughly annoyed his old friend. They parted ways, with the blond saying something about denial before stepping through the fireplace. What in Merlin's name is he trying to get at? Well, he knew the answer to that, but why?

Severus put it out of his mind. He didn't want to think about Potter, let alone anything else. This was a sign that Lucius was obviously deranged.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday came around, and unfortunately, so did Potter. Since tomorrow was a contract date, he hadn't expected to see him today.

Potter seemed to sense something because he spoke his excuses as he went over to his cauldron. "Sorry, I would've come tomorrow, but I have a… well, a thing for my birthday, so... " He shrugged.

 _So, his adoring subjects are throwing him a party. How lucky to be him._ Severus just sneered. "I do not care what you do."

Potter shrugged. "I know that. I only thought you might want to know my reasons instead of thinking that I show at some random times just to annoy you."

"Of course, the thought had never crossed my mind," Severus said, his voice thick with sarcasm. "Now if you don't mind, some of us have to work."

Potter was silent after that. Every now and again, Severus would glance over at him to make sure that he wasn't screwing anything up while using his lab. Nothing of the sort happened, and the morning passed without incident.

As Lunch came around, Potter decided to invite Severus again. Of course, he refused. “Once was enough.”

"I just thought you might want to keep an eye on me," Potter said. "You have been glancing at me all day. Just to make sure that I don't get back before you."

"See that you do not."

Potter just shrugged and left. Severus took his own lunch soon after that, annoyed at Potter's words. The boy acted like everything he did was because of him specifically and not because he was using his lab. He had every right to watch him! Lucius' words went through his mind, but he pushed them out. It was absurd.

Potter returned after lunch, and of course, Severus had already been down in the lab and back to work. Severus thought that he had never wanted the contract to be over so much as the boy left, telling him he'd drop by after the 'thing' tomorrow. It was the only then that Severus realized that he didn't seem to be thrilled by the idea.

"What, get enough of your adoring subjects already? A party is too much?" Severus said, a scalding tone in his voice.

Potter's green eyes - Lily's eyes - glared at him. "No," he said furiously. "For your information, I didn't even want one! I hate parties. It's just… too much, too much of everything. I don't want to celebrate my birthday. I don't even want to have one!" It seemed as if he had said it all in one breathe, because he quickly started taking deep breaths, and Severus remembered his chest injury. "I mean, do you understand?" The last words were said a bit more softly.

Severus looked at Potter, his mind trying to form around the fact that they had something in common. "Yes, that's something that I understand quite well."

Potter just blinked at him. "Yes, well, so I'll see you tomorrow, Severus."

Severus nodded, watching Potter as he walked out the door, wondering in what universe could he have anything in common with Harry Potter?


	15. Chapter 15

Harry woke up on the morning of his birthday, wishing it was any day but this one. He wanted to stay in bed under the covers and pass this day by. He didn’t feel that it was anything worth celebrating. In fact, it left him feeling very suffocated to know that he was expected at a party later this afternoon. He didn’t want to go. It was the last place that he wanted to be, and it didn’t help that he hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since his last contract date, which was normal. Harry groaned and forced himself to get up sometime later. He tried to concentrate on his studying for his Healer’s Exam but found his thoughts just couldn’t form enough to concentrate on the words on the page. About then, an owl came to the window. He quickly let it in before someone spotted him. He took the letter and allowed the animal to fly off again. The envelope looked official. It was from Gringotts. He tore it open and grabbed the piece of parchment inside.

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_According to your parent’s will, your family’s vault is now fully accessible to you. It was requested in their will that on the event of their deaths, you only be allowed access to your personal vault with your inheritance. Since it is the occasion of your twenty-first birthday, you are receiving access to the rest of the Potter Family vault. The key is enclosed._

_Please respond if you have any other questions._

_Sincerely,_

_Ripclaw_  
_Potter Family Account Manager_

Harry just stared at the parchment, unable to believe the words on the page. He had more money?! What in the bloody hell was he supposed to do with more money! He didn’t even know what to do with what he had now! He tipped the envelope over, and sure enough, a tiny gold key fell out. It was very similar to the one had already had for his vault. Harry grabbed his wand, and put a small mark on the key, just to make sure he could tell them apart. He then put the key in a drawer and wasn’t sure that he ever wanted to touch it again. _Great, this is just going to turn out to be brilliant, isn’t it?_ he thought to himself.

~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the day went by slowly, and Harry wished it was over already. At some point today, he was going to have to go and see Snape, too. He tried to forget that the party was even happening because it was stupid to even be having one in his opinion. However, the party grew closer and closer and eventually, he had to leave. He got dressed, and then went out to the alleyway and Apparated to The Burrow. When he got there, it seemed as if a lot of the guests had already shown up. Then again, most of the guests were Weasleys. Harry sighed and tried to make it seem as if he was happy to be there when the truth was that he wanted nothing more than to be anywhere else.

As soon as he walked over, Molly came over and enveloped him a big hug. Harry froze for a second before returning the hug. “Harry, how are you, dear?”

“Fine, Mrs. Weasley,” he told her.

“Good,” she said. “Now, off you go. Everything’s almost ready.”

Harry made his way closer to the others, and every step made it seem like a sense of dread was hanging over him. Ron walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. “How are you doing, mate?” Harry didn’t respond. “Aw, cheer up. It’ll be great, you’ll see. Mum just wants to do something special, and you know she sees you as another son.”

The only ones he didn’t see were George and Angelina and Ginny. All the other Weasleys were here. Harry tried to force down the sense of panic that was rising in him and got a drink, taking a seat. He took a deep breath and tried to tell himself that it was only for a couple of hours. Right now, though, a couple of hours seemed like an eternity. It wasn’t too long before George and Angelina showed up. They came over, and George gave him a good-natured pat on the shoulder. His fiancee leaned down and gave him a hug. With the food being served soon, they took their seats. Ginny arrived shortly after, a tall, good-looking man in tow who he only assumed must be her new boyfriend. She gave him a small wave, which he returned.

Harry thought everyone had arrived when he noticed there seemed to be a couple missing chairs. At that moment, Andromeda walked in, a three-year-old toddler in tow with the same green hair he’d seen the last time he’d seen him. This brightened up his day a lot to see them there. Andromeda made a line straight for him, and Teddy nearly jumped on him. Harry grabbed him and picked him up, holding him tightly. “Uncle Harry!” he cried. “I haven’t seen you.”

Harry nodded, and a feeling of guilt washed over him at not seeing him lately. “Yeah, I know, I’m sorry about that.”

“Are you still sick?”

Harry nodded.

“Are you going to get better?”

“I hope so,” he said.

“Okay, now down with you,” Andromeda said, taking Teddy’s hand and taking him to their seats.

The food was brought out then, but Harry found that he had no appetite. He took what he needed so that no one would be suspicious, and ate what he needed out of his food so that no one would say anything about that, either. He just needs to get through this for a bit. Molly had the radio playing in the background. The music helped… a little. He tried to focus on that instead of the party, hoping that would help him somewhat. 

“Make sure that you get plenty of food, Harry, you’re much too skinny,” Molly said gesturing to a plate of food.

“I’m fine, really,” he said, taking a piece of food off his own plate.

“Molly, don’t coddle him,” Arthur chided gently from her left. “He’s a full grown man. He knows what he does and does not need to eat.”

“I know, I know, it’s just-”

She was cut off by another piece of conversation, and Harry was grateful that he had dodged that one. He didn’t want to deal with it, any of it. Everyone was almost done eating when he couldn’t take it anymore, and muttered something about the loo, walking off very quickly towards the house. He went straight for a corner of the living room and leaned back against the wall. Harry took a deep breath and tried to remind himself that they meant well. He just… he didn’t want this! Why were they celebrating him when so many were dead? It just… didn’t make sense to him. It wasn’t that much longer before he heard someone walking in, and looked around quickly for a place to hide until he heard the voice speaking to him.

“Hey, Harry, mate, you in here?” George’s eyes then spotted him, and he walked over to him.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, I just-”

George held up a hand to silence him, a very serious expression on his face. “Trust me. No one understands more than I do,” he said. “Birthdays just… don’t seem right, do they?” Harry shook his head, glad that at least one person in this damned family got it. “I actually had an ulterior motive in coming in here, too, though. I wanted to talk to you about a further business proposition.”

That got Harry’s interest. “Oh, really? What?”

George took a couple of steps closer. “You see, I don’t know if you were told, but I’m trying to expand the joke shop into Hogsmeade.”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, Hermione told me."

“Good. Now, Ron and I have been figuring things out, you know? This isn’t an easy decision,” George said, continuing. “I have the money and all, but… while Zonko’s hasn’t been the same since the war ended, they’re still a staple. They won’t go down easy. I could use a bit extra, just to cushion things, to make sure that they’ll accept and everything goes smoothly. Ron doesn’t know that you were the original investor, and I don’t plan on telling him about this either. He’s still so sensitive.”

Harry understood. He still felt guilty about talking about money around him, because despite the fact that he got more than enough working as George’s co-manager, he still would never become as rich as Harry was. Unfortunately, Ron was still sensitive about that, and probably always would be. “Er, sure thing. How do you need?”

“Really? Harry, mate, you’re the best!” George was grinning from ear to ear now. He pulled a small piece of parchment out of the pocket of jeans and handed it to him. “That’s what I need.”

Harry shrugged, and nodded. It wasn’t that bad, not in his opinion. “Sure. I’ll get it to you as soon as possible.”

“Come to the back door tomorrow night. Ron’s off, and that way you don’t have to walk through the front with a bag of money,” he told him. George then turned and made his way to the front door. “I’ll make your excuses, but you are going to have to come out. Mum will come looking for you if you don’t.”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, I know. Thanks.” George nodded, and then disappeared back outside to the noise of the party.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry took a few deep breaths before forcing himself back out to the party. Everyone was either sitting down or standing around in the yard talking. He headed back to the table, hoping he could manage to be bothered as little as possible so that he could get through this day as quickly as possible. As he was walking back to the table, he heard a conversation between Molly and Ginny. Molly was saying, “Do you think it was a good idea to bring him here, considering, you know…?”

Ginny groaned. “Considering that Harry and I used to date?” He wasn’t looking, but he could almost see Ginny crossing her arms over her chest as she spoke. “Mum, that was a long time ago.”

“Yes, but -”

“But nothing!” Ginny said, and he could hear the annoyance in her voice. “Harry has no problem with Jean-Paul. In fact, he hasn’t even paid any attention to him at all. Why would he have a problem with it? Everyone else brought their fiancees, and wives and what not, didn't they? Why should it be any different just because Harry and I used to date? We’re both over that.”

“Yes, well, I suppose so.”

Ginny groaned again, and Harry heard her walking back across the lawn as he sat down at the table again. He saw what Molly was saying, but he didn’t agree. Ginny was right - he was glad that she was happy. He didn’t care at all that she had brought her new boyfriend to the party. In fact, it would have seemed weird to him if she hadn’t brought him since everyone else had brought their other half.

Harry heard someone else coming up and turned his head to see Neville and Hannah walking in. “Sorry we’re late,” Neville called as he walked in. “Work ran late.”

Molly came over to them. “No problem at all,” she said. “There’s still a bit of food left, but if you’re hungry, I can make a bit more.”

Neville waved her off. “Thanks, Mrs. Weasley, but I’m sure we’ll manage.” With that, they made a beeline for the table that Harry was sitting at. Neville took a seat next to Harry, and Hannah on the other side of him once she had dropped off what he could only assume was his present at the gift table. “Happy Birthday, Harry.”

“Thanks,” he said quietly.

Neville didn’t ask if he was alright, which Harry was grateful for. “You remember Hannah, of course?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, sure, how are you?”

Hannah just gave him a smile. “I’m fine, Harry. Thank you for asking. Happy Birthday.”

The conversation dropped off after a bit. Neville and Hannah talked about their current endeavors. Neville was working on his class schedules for Hogwarts and was finishing up his last days as an Auror. Hannah was now working at the Leaky Cauldron. She had apparently taken her Healer’s Exam, but hadn’t wanted to work at St. Mungo’s once she was done with her training, so got a job at the Leaky Cauldron for the time being. It wasn’t too much later before Molly asked if he wanted to open his gifts. He didn’t want them or need them, but as soon as that thought crossed his mind, he felt guilty when everyone had gone through such trouble to be here. He forced a smile and then started opening each gift one by one. Ron and George and Angelina, of course, got him some silly gifts that at least made him smile. Hermione’s gift was practical. She got him a double gift - a journal along with a book about medi-wizardry.

“The book will help you study,” she explained, “and you can use the journal to help organize your thoughts.”

Harry thanked her and continued opening the gifts. Ginny got him some tickets to one of her games next year since her season was almost over. It had been a while since he had gone. She said the tickets were open, and if he wanted, he could exchange them in for tickets for the Quidditch World Cup next year. He was pretty sure he would take her up on that. He hadn’t been to any since the one in 1994 before his fourth year. After the gifts were done, everyone went back to talking. People wanted to talk to him, and Harry tried to be as polite as possible. The truth was, though, that he just didn’t want to talk. He didn’t even want to be here, but he felt as if he had to be here, at least for a while.

Harry disappeared again soon after that, running into the house and hiding. The panicked feeling had set over him again. Why couldn’t they just leave him alone? He stayed there for a couple of minutes. When he came back out, he heard George making excuses for him. _Thanks very much for that_ , Harry thought to himself. Ginny came over later and formally introduced him to her new boyfriend, Jean-Paul. Apparently, he was a player on a French Quidditch team. They had met last year, kept in touch, and started dating a couple of months ago. They were making the long-distance thing work, and she said it helped that they were both professional Quidditch players with busy lives. Harry was glad she was happy though he felt a bit of jealousy that everyone else seemed so happy… and then there was him.

Harry was trying to make it seem as if he was content and glad to be here, having a good time. The truth was he wasn’t, and it felt like no one else cared. Hermione, to her credit, did come over to check on him. He said what he had to do to get rid of her because he didn’t feel like talking and explaining. He had told Ron that he hadn’t wanted one, but it had been too late to cancel. Whatever Molly Weasley wanted she got, apparently. Molly brought out a large cake after that. She apologized that it was late, and everyone stood around and sang to him. It brought an overwhelming feeling, and it made him want to scream. He ate the cake, trying to be as polite as possible as the feeling kept washing over him. It wasn’t that much later before he just couldn’t take it anymore. He walked over to Teddy and spent a few more minutes with him. He didn’t want him to think anything of it when he disappeared.

Without saying another word, he waited until everyone was looking away. He walked over to his gifts and Apparated them straight into his apartment, which he didn’t usually do. He knew they would notice him gone, and might assume that he was coming back. Harry, however, had no plans to go back. A thought occurred to him, though. It was getting rather late, but he still had to get his potion from Snape today.

No one would ever think to look for him there.

~~~~~~~~~~

Harry soon found himself in Diagon Alley. With most of the day gone, the streets were mostly deserted. A lot of the shops were still open, though. There were still plenty of people walking around, doing last minute shopping for the day. He walked down the street until he found the one he wanted, heading towards the back door as usual. Harry knocked on the door, and a couple of minutes later, Severus Snape opened it. “Potter, you’re late.”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, I know. Sorry about that, but I had the party…”

“Say no more,” Snape said. “Come in if you must.” He let Harry walk past him, before closing the door behind him.

“Look, this might seem like a slightly crazy request,” Harry said, “but do you mind if I… hang out for a bit?” Snape raised an eyebrow. “You see, I sort of didn’t tell anyone I was leaving. I just took the gifts and left. I know that they’ll come looking over for me at my house, and I don’t want anyone to do that. I just…” Harry struggled to find the right words for how he was feeling without unloading on Severus. “I don’t want to have to explain why I didn’t say I was leaving, and this was the only place I could think of where no one would come looking for me. Please.”

Snape seemed to think it over before responding. “Fine. I can understand the need to get away from the lot you consider your friends.” Harry almost said something about the back handed insult, but decided not to. The older man was doing him a favor after all. “If you begin to annoy me or get in my way, I am throwing you out on your skinny arse, do you understand?”

Harry nodded. “Yes, of course. Thank you.”

Snape just nodded and then lead Harry upstairs. “Take a seat. Drink, Potter?”

“Yes, please.”

Snape got him a glass of brandy, and Harry slowly sipped it on. Snape had, apparently, been in the middle of eating dinner. Harry took a seat on the couch, grabbed a newspaper, and started to read it. Snape finished dinner, cleaned up, and then sat on an armchair. “Not a pleasant day, I take it?” Snape asked.

Snape’s voice startled Harry for a bit, as he had been pretty much ignored since he had come in. “Er, yeah, it wasn't,” he told him. “It was all just… very overwhelming. I feel guilty for not enjoying it after all the trouble, but… I just couldn’t be happy about it.”

Snape scoffed. “Gryffindors. You feel bad about it, when in truth, it is they who should feel bad for doing something against your wishes without even asking what your wishes are.”

Harry opened his mouth to defend them before he realized that Snape was right. “No, you’re right. I should have told them earlier that I didn’t want to do anything, that I just wanted to hide.” He shrugged. “I can’t do anything about it it now.” He only realized now that Luna hadn’t been there, and wondered if she had gotten back from Russia yet.

“That is correct, but nonetheless, perhaps you will take more care to remember that for next year,” Snape told him.

Harry nodded. “Yes, that’s good advice.” Harry sipped on his drink, and the two sat there in silence for a while longer. Eventually, Harry heard something being set on the table and looked to see Snape setting his vial on the table. “Thanks.” Snape didn't respond and went back to sitting in his armchair and reading. Honestly, this whole thing was rather peaceful. Snape didn’t ask for explanations, except to clarify that the day had been bad for him. He didn’t ask why or ask for more info. That was a relief. Eventually, though, he had to leave as it was getting rather late and he wanted to sleep. “Thanks for letting me hide here,” Harry told him as he walked to the stairs. “Goodnight, Severus.”

“Goodnight,” Snape said in an offhand manner.

Harry had taken a step on the stairs when he heard Snape speak again.

“Happy Birthday, Harry.” 

Harry froze, and looked back to make sure that he had heard right. Snape, however, was reading. Seeming to sense someone else’s eyes on him, he looked up at him. Harry smiled at him. “Thank you,” he said, before making his way down the stairs and into the street.


	16. Chapter 16

Severus wasn’t sure why he had wished Potter a happy birthday, but as the young man had headed towards the stairs, the words had just come out. It wasn’t like him, not even in the slightest. He put it out of his mind and concentrated on his work for the next few days. Monroe stopped by on Thursday, two days after Potter’s birthday. The next day, Potter himself decided to stop by.

The morning went by rather quietly. Severus would look back at Potter to make sure that he wasn’t going to screw something up. Occasionally, Potter would meet his gaze before looking away. _There is no reason for him to look at me,_ he told himself. After all, Potter was in _his_ lab, not the other way around.  Then again, this was not an unusual occurrence. Severus reminded himself that he didn’t need to keep wondering about that. Whatever Potter did was none of his business. Potter asked him if he wanted to accompany him to lunch again, and Severus scoffed. “Some of us have to work to do,” he told him.

Potter shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

Severus went to lunch about twenty minutes after that, and ate quickly, returning to his lab a few minutes before Potter returned. He started preparing his ingredients. Once again, things went quietly until the potions master heard mumbling coming from the back right corner where Potter worked. Severus tried to put it out of his mind, and ignore him, despite the fact that he had told Potter that he was only allowed in here if he stayed quiet.

Severus might have been able to ignore it had Potter not started yelling.

“Bloody Hell!” Potter yelled at one point, causing Severus to glare at him. Potter quieted down after that, so Severus decided to try and let it go. That was not to be, however, another twenty minutes later, the young man yelled again. “God damn it!”

Severus could simply not ignore it anymore, and he thought he had been pretty reasonable, as well. “Potter!” he yelled, turning around to face him. “I thought I made it quite clear when I allowed you to use this lab that it was under the condition that you are _silent_.”

Potter looked at him; his face clearly showed frustration at the potion he was working on. “I’m sorry, but I tried to fix this potion. The first time it was complete rubbish, so I started over,” he explained. “I thought I fixed it this time,  but it’s not any better! I don’t understand!”

Severus groaned, and waved his hand over his cauldrons, putting his potions in statis. “Honestly, Potter, you are hopeless…” He walked over and peered at the cauldron. “What potion are you attempting?”

“The one for my chest.”

Severus nodded. That one could be quite tricky for a novice, and Potter was most certainly that. “You are not being anywhere near precise enough,” he told him. “This potion needs to brew longer for one thing. You are also not putting enough porcupine quills in, and they need to be crushed up more. I can tell by the color and consistency that you didn’t make them into a fine enough powder.” Severus grabbed the ladle and stirred it some more. "Also, you need to add less salamander blood and stir it in more.”

Potter nodded. “I’ll try that. Thank you,” he said, preparing his ingredients once again.

Severus rolled his eyes as he went back to the potions he had been working on and took them out of statis. It was about another fifteen minutes before Potter started whining again.

“Er, Severus, I don’t think is right…” Potter said from behind him.

He groaned, and once again, was forced to put his potions into stasis and walk over to help Potter. He wasn’t his teacher anymore, so why was he doing this? “I swear if you damage my lab with your incompetence…” Potter simply glared at him. Severus just walked up to the potion and looked at it. It was better than his previous try, but he would ruin it again. He did not want Potter here all day. “You need to keep stirring.”

Potter slowly grabbed his ladle and started stirring, but the motion was too slow for this particular potion. “No, not like that, Potter,” Severus said, taking the ladle from the young man’s hand. Their fingers brushed, causing Severus to freeze for a second. It happened before, where their fingers brushed, and he felt… he wasn’t sure what. Potter obviously felt it too, because he had also frozen. Their eyes met for a second before Potter quickly pulled back. Severus started stirring the potion more quickly, keeping the mixture moving.

Potter kept watching him. “I was stirring it too slowly, I take it,” he said.

“For one thing,” Severus told him. “Now, as I stir, add in a bit more of the porcupine quill powder.” Potter nodded and did as he was told. “Now, stir it some more, and then start slowly adding in the salamander blood, but much less than your last attempt.” Potter nodded, carefully taking the ladle from him, and allowing Severus to go back to his work.

Severus had a feeling that Potter was still screwing it up somehow, so he only gave him about ten minutes or so before he checked on him again. After all, he didn’t want the young man in his lab all day trying to fix this. “Too much salamander blood again,” he told him, a cutting edge to his voice.

“Er, could I put in a bit more of the quill to balance it or do I have to start over?” Potter asked.

“Very good. Perhaps you are not so hopeless, after all,” Severus told him. “Yes, do that and then stir it quickly. Turn the heat up a bit more, too.” Potter nodded and did as he was told. Severus went back to his work, but knowing that at the moment, Potter couldn’t be trusted, he didn’t leave him alone for long. Severus went back another five or ten minutes later to make sure that the lab wasn’t going to blow up because Potter tried putting into more ingredients.

“How does it look?” Potter asked, a cautious tone to his voice.

Severus looked as Potter stirred. “It is acceptable,” he told him. “It would have been better if you had not been so generous with the salamander blood.”

Potter just shrugged. “I _am_ doing this to learn,” he pointed out. “If I didn’t need the practice, then I wouldn’t need to be here, would I?” The young man paused for a second before continuing. “The… effectiveness isn’t going to go down because of that, is it?”

 _He intends to use this on himself at some point?_ Severus thought to himself. _Surely, he knows that he can simply buy one from me. After all, it is my_ job  _to make potions, and he knows from what happened that one night that I already have some prepared._ “Why are you attempting to make this potion?” Severus asked.

Potter shrugged. “I figure I need to learn, so I don’t have to depend on other people,” he told him. “And this way, I have some already prepared for when our contract ends.”

 _Well, at least, he’s trying to think ahead,_ Severus thought to himself. “Fair enough,” he said. “It is ready now; you can turn off the heat. Let it set for a bit before you do anything with it.” Potter nodded. “And to answer your question, no the effectiveness shouldn't be lessened for attacks like the one you experienced here. If it doesn’t work, then chances are you should go to St. Mungo’s anyway.”

Potter nodded again. Severus turned and went back to his work, hoping that he would not bother him anymore. It was about five or ten minutes later when he heard Potter’s voice speaking to him again. “Thank you for the help today, Severus,” he said. “You didn’t have to help me. I appreciate it.” With that, he said his goodbyes and left.

Severus shook his head as he went back to work. Potter was missing the point. It wasn’t as if he had helped him just for the sake of helping him. That wasn’t in his nature. He was in his lab, and therefore, naturally, the potions shouldn’t explode or anything of the like. That was the only reason he had helped Potter.

The only reason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Severus, thankfully, didn’t see Potter again for a few days. Things were much quieter and simpler when he wasn’t around. Monroe didn’t even stop by, so he was where he wanted to be - in the lab, alone, working with the potions. Nothing ever happened that wasn’t supposed to. If he made the potions correctly, then they always came out the way they were supposed to. This was the way things were supposed to be - ordered and according to his own design.

Severus worked in silence, making progress on several of the potions he had been working on. It was late afternoon when he decided that it was time to take a break. He was at a stopping point in all of them, and there was no use in starting anything else tonight. As he was cleaning up, there was a knock on the door. It was then that he reminded himself that this was Potter’s contract date. For a moment, he had hoped he would get to go without seeing him today.

Severus made for the door, and when he opened it, he froze.

Yes, Potter was there, and while he didn’t usually looked incredibly composed, he looked even more disheveled than usual. His shirt was a bit thinner than usual. He was not wearing the Muggle jeans he was accustomed to, but another type of pant of loose material that he was not accustomed to. Potter’s clothes stuck to him, leaving little to the imagination of what lie underneath. Severus hadn’t realized he was staring until Potter’s voice cut through him. “Er, Severus, I’m sorry about this, really, but I went to work out today - been months, you know - and I just came straight here, afterward,” he explained. “I know I’m sweaty and sticky, and I’m sorry about that.”

Severus cursed himself for getting caught. Potter only thought it was because he disapproved of him standing before his door looking disheveled. That, of course, was the only reason. There couldn’t possibly be another reason. It had been a simple state of shock, nothing else. Even  _he_ was susceptible to that. “Of course,” he said curtly. “Come in.” Severus stepped aside and allowed Potter to enter, his eyes subconsciously noticing the way the young man’s shirt stuck to his back, which was surprisingly well muscled. His eyes started to drift a bit farther down before anger washed over him. There was no reason to even give Potter a second thought! This was foolish. He slammed the door shut, and then made his way into the lab. “Stay there,” he snapped, his anger evident in his voice.

Potter jerked slightly, before narrowing his eyes. He crossed his arms over his chest. “I haven’t done anything yet,” he said defiantly.

Severus quelled Potter with a look and then went to grab his potion. He put the single drop in the vial. He had remembered that as of today, Potter was down to one drop. That meant things were ending soon, and he wouldn't have to deal with him much longer. He walked back over to Potter and thrust the vial at him. “Take it,” he ordered. “You are down to a single drop as of today, so any withdrawal symptoms you have been experiencing will get worse.”

Potter reached for the vial, and Severus was quick to make sure that the young man’s fingers did not touch his own. “Thank you,” Potter said. “See you in a few days probably, since the contract dates are down to once a week.” Severus purposely kept his eyes averted. He didn’t want to look at Potter. He didn’t. He heard the door shutting, and Severus went back up to his flat. He didn’t want to think about him. There was no reason for things like that. He would not be mentioning this to Lucius, either.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lucius arrived at the same time that he had over the past couple weeks. Severus was not in the mood, but he knew that his old friend would never have accepted a cancellation. Besides, what reason was he going to give him? “Potter came over and distracted me, so now I’m not the mood?” That would have Lucius laughing from now until Christmas. It didn’t take long before they were in the middle of the first game. Severus was hoping he could get through this as quickly as possible. He wanted to concentrate on the game and only the game. There was nothing else that mattered, most certainly not Potter. It had been pretty silent between them so far, despite the fact that Severus knew that couldn’t last. This was Lucius they were talking about, after all.

“So, how has the shop been?” Lucius asked conversationally as he moved one of his Rooks.

“Fine,” Severus said, curtly, hoping he wouldn’t have to make small talk with the blond all night. That was  _not_ his forte. He moved one of his pieces.

Lucius nodded. “Any new potions in the works since you’ve been bothered by both Monroe and Potter?”

That was the last thing that Severus wanted to think about right now. He tried to concentrate on the first name that Lucius had offered, and not the second. “Not particularly,” he answered. “I get what work done as I can, but with the potions for the shop itself, the special orders that I receive, I do not get as much time to work on… personal projects as I would like.”

“Understandable, I suppose,” Lucius said.

 _No, it isn’t, not to you,_ Severus thought to himself. After all, no one in the Malfoy family _needed_ to work. If they did, they did so by choice. “Indeed,” was his only response, though. He wasn’t about to tell Lucius that Potter may have actually given him a good idea - writing a book - because that would require talking about Potter, something he didn't want to do. He didn’t want to be thinking about him, either. They played in silence throughout the rest of the game, and Severus was victorious once again. He hoped that Lucius was through with his small-talk as they reset the game. That was not to be, however.

“So, nothing interesting has happened at all recently?” Lucius asked. “Such a pity.”

Severus looked up from the chess table and glared at him. “Aside from being invited to Monroe’s wedding next spring that I do not wish to attend,” Severus responded, “No.”

“Yes, weddings are so trivial, aren’t they?” Lucius drawled as the game continued.

“Quite,” Severus said. “I have no need to attend it, except he feels obligated to invite me as I am his Potions Master. Therefore, I am obligated to attend as I was invited.” The game continued once again in silence. Severus just kept waiting for Lucius to speak again because he knew the blond couldn’t keep his mouth shut even if he tried.

It was partway through the next game when Lucius brought up the subject he knew he couldn't resist talking about. “So, what about Potter?” he asked. “Is he driving you as crazy as Monroe is?”

Severus tried to remind himself not to hex Lucius because the bastard could hold his own if he needed to. Besides, he didn’t really want to fight him at the moment despite how angry he was at the arrogant blond right now. “Potter… is a nuisance, and he will be out of my hair soon enough,” he said, moving a piece on the chessboard. The very mention of Potter’s name, though, brought a flash of the young man in his mind - Potter standing in front of him, disheveled, his workout clothes sticking to him…

Severus shook the image from his mind. He wanted nothing to do with Potter. Besides, if there was a remote possibility that what Lucius had been saying over the past couple of weeks had  _any_ truth to it - which he didn’t - it would never work. It wouldn’t even make sense. In the eyes of someone like Lucius Malfoy, everything could be simplified if he wanted it to be.

Lucius simply nodded. “Of course,” he said. “You are sure -”

“Yes.” Severus leveled Lucius with a glare, thus ending the conversation. The blond left at the next time, giving him a look before leaving through the Floo. Severus was done with everything about this day though part of him knew that the issues with Potter weren’t going just to go away. It didn’t matter. None of it did. He knew what he needed, what he wanted and Potter was most certainly not it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry couldn’t shake the feeling that something had been off when he had left Snape’s earlier that day.  It wasn’t like their usual meetings though he couldn’t say that things were ever typical with him, anyway. Nonetheless, even for Severus, it was a bit odd. He couldn’t shake the feeling as he went home and tried to continue with the rest of his night. It felt him feeling more confused than ever before. He was shaken out of his thoughts when Luna decided to pop in.

“Oh, hey, Luna,” he greeted, knowing that he sounded distracted.

“Hello, Harry,” she said. “I’m sorry that I missed your party. Russia took a bit longer than expected. Here you go.” She reached out and handed him something tied up in a paper bag, with the words _Happy Birthday, Harry_ written on it in color-changing ink. He opened it up to find a strange plant that he’d never seen before. “If you boil it, it’s supposed to help clear your mind according to the Russian wizards. I brought Neville back one, too, because I thought he’d like to see it.”

“Thank you.” He set it off to the side. “And don’t worry about missing the party.” Harry couldn’t help but hear the tone in his voice, the tone that said he clearly hadn’t wanted to be there.

“Oh, was it not a good party?” Luna asked. “Or are you referring to the fact that you never wanted one in the first place?”

Harry stared at her. “You knew?”

She nodded. “Wasn’t it obvious?”

Harry shrugged. “Apparently not to Ron or any of the Weasleys… minus George, of course,” he told her.

“They don’t see things the same way,” Luna told them. “They think you celebrate the fact that you lived, and you think otherwise. It’s just a difference of opinion. Everyone has them.” Harry nodded. “If you think that strongly, you should try talking to him to avoid these situations in the future. You didn't end up abandoning your own party, did you?”

Harry paused for a second, running a hand through his hair. “I stayed as long as I could, and then, yeah, I grabbed my presents and left.”

“Probably not the best way to go about that,” she said, joining him on the couch. Harry realized what she wanted to do, and tried to reach it before her. It was too late, though. He was the youngest seeker in a century, and Luna still always grabbed the remote to the telly before he could. Why was that? Harry had to settle for watching his unique friend constantly flip through channels for a couple of  _hours_ before she decided to leave. She said she was still adjusting to the time difference between England and Russia. She gave him a hug before leaving. He had almost thought about asking her about what to do about Snape, but he wouldn’t know how to put that in words anyway.

After Luna had left, Harry ran over the meeting with Snape earlier that day. There was something about it, and he didn’t quite understand, not yet. Something told him he should. He took his one drop of potion in his nighttime tea, and he was out before he knew it.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were some minor things corrected in the last chapter. :) Also, there might be a delay in posting the final chapter. I want to have at least two chapters of the sequel written before I post the final chapter of this story. Sorry for any delay in advance.

Harry hadn't realized that there would be any greater effect between the three and two doses of the potion that he had been taking so far, despite Snape's warning. However, that became clear over the course of the next week that he had been wrong. What else was new? He had noticed some effect when the dosage went down to two, but he noticed it more today. Yes, he had slept - at least, there was that, but over the next few days, he began to crave it more. Harry, for the time being, anyway, was managing okay, though. He knew this was going to get worse, though, because the one dosage lasted until the end of the contract. He still had six weeks before that happened. He tried to study though he knew he was slacking on that. He dropped off the money that George had asked for as soon as possible, making sure that Ron wasn't there.

That Friday was Dean and Seamus' wedding - yes, his two dorm mates were getting married. They had started dating after the Battle of Hogwarts, deciding that they should stop being stupid and admit their feelings. The two decided last year that they were going to make it official. Harry was happy for them, really he was - or he wanted to be happy for them. It was hard for him right now, and if he wouldn't feel worse for not going at all, then he probably wouldn't go. He had been invited, though, so it only made him feel obligated to go despite the fact that he was not in the right mental state for something like a wedding.

Instead of a Stag Night, Dean and Seamus decided to celebrate together at a pub. They invited all their old dorm mates. Harry really didn't want to go, but it wasn't as if he was going to be sleeping anyway. He showed up at the pub and was almost run down by Seamus, who came over and gave him a clasp on his arm. "Harry, how are you? Been a long time!" The Irishman said.

Harry forced a smile on his face. "Fine, I guess," he said.

Dean walked up behind him. "Hey, Harry, how are you doing?"

Harry wished everyone would stop asking him that question. He just shrugged, hoping no one would else would ask him that. Yes, he knew that it was something that people asked when they were greeting each other, but still…. Ron came up at the second, distracting the soon-to-be Newlyweds. Neville arrived soon afterward.

"Sorry we couldn't make it to your birthday party, Harry," Seamus said. "Neither one of us could get out of work."

Harry waved off the comment. "Don't worry about it," he told him. He noticed Ron conveniently wasn't looking at him since they both knew that Harry had left early without telling anyone. "I don't want anything either, so don't even ask. I'm good, really."

Dean and Seamus shared a glance, but let that conversation drop. Harry glanced at Neville, glad that neither he or Ron had mentioned that he'd left his own party early. No one knew that he'd gone to hide in Snape's flat, and he didn't plan on telling that to anyone, either. If that happened, they might come looking for him there next time. That would defeat the purpose then, wouldn't it?

The group went and sat down the bar, and immediately started ordering drinks. Dean and Seamus, of course, said that they were getting married, and both got free drinks. Harry nursed his one drink as the others had two or three. He didn't really feel like partying right now. The others all wanted to celebrate. Seamus tried to talk him into having another drink, but he refused. When the other four ordered their fourth drinks, Harry decided it was time for him to leave. He felt he was bringing down the entire vibe. "I'm heading out," he said. There was a chorus from Dean and Seamus that he should stay. "No, I'm good. Thanks. I'll see you all tomorrow at the wedding. Don't drink too much." After that, he went home, trying to sleep and mostly failing.

Harry woke up the next morning, and desperately wished that the wedding day would pass. It didn't, though, and he had to go to the wedding. He put it off as much as possible before he needed to go. He had agreed previously to be there early to help out Dean and Seamus' mums. After all, he had nothing else to do. It wasn't as if he was studying as much he was supposed to, or couldn't take the time to help out even if he was. The relatives that were there seemed to have everything well in hand, and he almost left before Seamus's mum grabbed him and put him to work. Apparently, the people who had organized and set up the tables hadn't done it right. So, she had Harry drag the tables around. He wished he could just use magic, but both Seamus and Dean had muggle relatives, keeping any of the magical folk at the wedding from speeding things up.

After that, he was put to work helping with table decorations. It wasn't actually that bad. Granted, it seemed as if he was the only guy here though Seamus's dad popped in and out. He was being useful, though, so at least, that was something. Then came the time where everyone started to leave and get ready. Harry left, Apparating back to his house once he had found a safe spot. He got dressed and made his way over to the venue. He ran into Ron and Hermione and sat with them. The ceremony started on time. Harry would probably wish later that he had paid more attention, but the truth was that he didn't. He zoned throughout most of the vows because he just wanted this night to be over. He caught bits and pieces here and there, though.

It really was sweet, and both grooms looked so happy. Harry felt a bit resentful. Everyone around him seemed so happy, and yet here he was. He tried to tell himself that nothing was wrong with him, but when everyone else was happy and moving on, what else was there for him to think? Neville was here with Hannah, and despite the newness of the relationship, both seemed happy. Ron and Hermione had gotten engaged not too long ago. Then there was him. What was wrong? Harry was glad when Dean and Seamus were pronounced married. They kissed and seemed like they were truly ready to be bonded for life. Photos were taken, and time seemed to inch by until they made their way inside for dinner. The food was good. Time still didn't seem to be moving fast enough, and then the party started. It made Harry want to crawl under a rock.

Harry was glad when Dean and Seamus were pronounced married. They kissed and seemed like they were truly ready to be bonded for life. Photos were taken, and time seemed to inch by until they made their way inside for dinner. The food was good. Time still didn't seem to be moving fast enough, and then the party started. It made Harry want to crawl under a rock.

Harry moved to one of the farthest tables, all the way in the back. He wanted to be as far as away from the dancing and celebration as possible. Part of him thought that he should just leave, but he didn't want Dean and Seamus to think that he wasn't happy for them and didn't want to celebrate. He really didn't, though. After leaving his own party early, though, he felt he should stick around. Luna came by and sat with him for a bit before moving back to dancing with everyone else. At least, if he listened to the music and paid attention to the partying a bit less, it was a bit easier. Harry watched as everything got a bit crazier as everyone had more and more to drink. Honestly, it would have been funny if he had been in the mood.

Luna came back and sat at his table. "You should try dancing," she told him.

Harry shook his head. "I don't dance," he told her. "Besides, I am perfectly fine right here."

"Do you want some company?"

"No, you go ahead," he told her, and she started humming along to the music as she wandered off towards the dancing.

A bit later, Ron and Hermione came back and sat with him. They said that they needed a break, but he figured that they, too, wanted to check up on him. It was a bit annoying, actually, and he would have been perfectly fine sitting here by himself listening to the music. They sat with him for a bit before making their way back out onto the dance floor. Harry was about ready to leave because he wasn't sure how much more he could take. That was about when Seamus decided that it would be a good idea to dance on a table. His former classmate, all of a sudden, just decided to jump up on the nearest table and started dancing like there was no tomorrow. It was so ridiculous to watch him - because he was so drunk now that the dancing could not be considered good.

Seamus's new husband, Dean, was standing on the floor. His arms were wrapped around his waist, and it looked to Harry like he was laughing his arse off. He didn't blame him - Harry was laughing too. The idea of dancing on a table at your own wedding was funny enough, and the Irishman made it even funnier by looking completely ridiculous as he did so. Harry couldn't help but laugh, and he actually got up out of his seat and moved towards the dance floor. He had no plans on dancing, but he wanted to get a better look. Seamus still looked like a complete nutter, a drunk one, but Harry could see a knowing smirk on Dean's face as he laughed. Then, Dean threw up his arms, before jumping up on the table with him. He gave his husband a kiss before dancing right along with him.

Harry smiled and shook his head at the scene as he walked back to his table. He knew that it was good that everyone was having fun and moving on. That was how things should be. That didn't make it any easier on him. At least one good thing had come from Seamus's table dancing - it had cheered him up a bit. He glanced up again, and the couple was still dancing on the table. Now, they were trying to get others to go along with them. Some went ahead and found their own table. Others, like Neville and Hannah and Ron and Hermione, refused and stayed on the ground. That was when Harry decided he should leave. He found Ron and Hermione on the dance floor and gave them a wave before walking to Dean and Seamus's table. He got their attention briefly and waved at them. With the music, he knew that no one could hear him even if he tried to talk. With that, he left, found a safe spot, and Apparated back to the alley near his apartment building.

~~~~~~~~~~

Harry woke up the next day, a slight headache from his drinking the night before. He hadn't drunk as much as the others. Ron, Neville, Dean and Seamus had all looked fine yesterday after drinking the night before, but he wondered how well they would be faring this morning. A smirk crossed his face at that thought. Harry knew that he needed to go and work on potions at Snape's lab. He hadn't been over there since last week. He wasn't going to get better without practicing, so he headed over there, albeit a bit later than he usually did. It had taken him a bit longer to get ready this morning. With it being a weekend, Diagon Alley was bustling with people rushing around, doing their shopping for the day. Harry walked around to the back of Snape's building, as always, and went inside.

Snape looked back at him, and their eyes met momentarily before the potions master went back to his work. Harry's gaze lingered on him for a moment, before he headed back to his corner. It was a few minutes before either one of them spoke. "You are late," Snape said. It was a matter-of-fact tone as if he was simply acknowledging that it was past the time that Harry usually came in.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Harry said. "I had a wedding to go to yesterday, so it took me a bit longer to get going today than usual. It's been awhile since I've been here, though, and I need the practice."

"Yes, as I know full well," Snape said, the entire time without looking at Harry at all.

Harry found himself annoyed, and he knew it wasn't the first time that Harry had been annoyed that the fact that Snape wasn't looking at him at all. It was even more aggravating because Snape was talking to him. It wasn't as if he was ignoring him completely like he used to; he was simply acknowledging him without actually looking at him. It was frustrating.

Harry unclenched his fists and then continued his work. They worked in silence for a bit longer, before Harry looked over at Snape, seeing if he was going to be glancing at him like he usually did. It occurred to Harry that he shouldn't care, but he knew he did. The older man seemed to sense that Harry was looking at him, so he quickly looked away, feeling like a complete idiot that he'd been caught staring. Why on cEarth would he want to stare at Snape anyway?

 _Hasn't stopped you lately, though, has it?_ He thought to himself. Harry shook that thought out of his head and concentrated on his work. He had noticed some pieces of parchment lying near one of the cauldrons.  _I wonder what that's for,_  he asked himself.

"Maybe you might improve if you paid more attention what you are doing," Snape commented scathingly.

Harry leveled his back with a glare.  _Turn around if you're going to insult me, you bastard,_ he thought. "Just curious is all," he said. "You don't normally have parchment out around your cauldrons."

Snape looked back at him with that remark, before turning back to his cauldron. "None of your business," he said.

Harry rolled his eyes and decided to just go back to work. If he pressed his luck, chances are, the old bastard would throw him out. They worked most of the morning in silence, but as they worked, Harry couldn't help but to look over at Snape and watch him. The man was very efficient. Despite having multiple cauldrons going, he worked all of them as if it was nothing. Harry could barely keep up with one, let alone two or three like Snape did on a daily basis.

Harry went back to work, slowly bringing his potion to completion. He cleaned up. "I'm going to go to lunch, Severus, I'll be back."

"Harry, I do not care," Snape said, not turning around again.

Harry glared at him, but turned and left anyway. He turned about forty minutes later or so, and of course, Snape acted like he had never left. He knew better, but it was still always worth noting as far as he was concerned. As Harry looked over at the potions master, he saw him still pouring over the pieces of parchment as he worked.  _It must something of his own making that he's working on, or he wouldn't need the parchment,_ Harry noted.

Harry glanced up at him, doing what he could to not get caught looking. Severus then cursed and then waved his wand over the potion. He assumed that Snape had vanished it. Apparently, it had not gone right. He supposed that happened, but it was unusual to see. Harry quickly looked away, and sure enough, he could feel Snape's eyes on him a moment later. Harry looked back up at him, to see Snape pouring over a piece of parchment. He watched as the potions master ran his hand through his long, greasy hair before making a note on the parchment with a quill that Harry hadn't noticed. Harry wondered, though… He could assume now that the reason Snape's hair looked so greasy was probably because of all the potions fumes he was around all day. That made sense. However, it got him thinking as Snape repeated the motion, running his hand through his hair again. He wondered what it felt like, freshly washed… Surely, it wasn't greasy then?

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, Harry immediately pushed it out. What was he thinking? He was not just… No. He went back to work, but that thought ate at him through the rest of the day. As he was cleaning up, Harry glanced back up at him, and that happened to be the exact moment that Snape decided to turn around. The look on his face was furious.

"Potter, you will not accomplish anything by staring at me," Snape said, glaring at him furiously. He was angrier than Harry had seen him in quite a while.

Harry also failed to see how what he had been doing was any different than what Snape himself had done on countless occasions! What a hypocrite! "You can't be serious," Harry said, gripping the cauldron. "How is that any different than what you do pretty much every time I'm here!" He knew he shouldn't be surprised, but of course, he wasn't. "You fucking hypocrite."

In the past, the look that Snape shot him would have at least given Harry a cold chill. As it was, he was so furious and annoyed right now that he couldn't stand it. He didn't have a chance to respond, though, because, at that moment, Snape came over, threw Harry's stuff at him, and then nearly dragged him out of his lab without another word. "Fucking bastard!" Harry yelled before walking off.

~~~~~~~~~~

Severus had been furious for the rest of the day. The nerve of Potter accusing him of being a hypocrite. As the potions master was had been adamant about many times, Potter was a novice using his lab. Therefore, as the owner of said lab, he had every right to watch him. It had nothing to do with Potter himself, of course. As soon as that thought had crossed his mind, he remembered how the young man had looked when he had come over last week.

Severus squashed that memory. He had no wish to remember it - ever. There was no reason why it kept popping it up in his mind.

Right after he had finished cleaning up from dinner, he set up for his chess night with Lucius. The man was punctual as always. They greeted each other, poured their first drinks and sat down to play. It was about halfway through the game before Lucius started wanting to talk.

"So, how has work been?" Lucius asked.

Severus knew that Lucius didn't want to talk about work. He was warming up to something, and he had a bad feeling that he knew what it was. He should throw the blond out on his arrogant arse right now, but he didn't. He enjoyed his chess sessions with Lucius, which was why he still let the annoying blond in his flat, to begin with. If he didn't enjoy his company in any fashion, he wouldn't tolerate his stupid questions and inane comments.

"Fine, as always," Severus said, not even bothering to hide his annoyance.

"Good to hear," Lucius said as the game progressed. Of course, it would be too easy for the blond to get on with whatever it was he wanted to ask, so he waited until they had started another game before asking again. Severus had, of course, won the first one. "You seem a bit… aggravated. More so than usual, I mean."

"It is none of your concern, Lucius," Severus told him.

Lucius seemed to take the hint, at least temporarily. He waited until the game was farther along before he spoke again. "I will take a wild guess and say it has something to do with Potter," he said, as he moved his castle. "What happened  _this_ time?"

Severus glared at him, and almost considered not answering. However, he knew full well that Lucius would not let it go if he wanted the answer. He couldn't avoid him forever, although he could certainly try. "Very well," Severus said reluctantly. "He was rather… annoying, more so than usual today. When I pointed it out to him, he called me a hypocrite. So, I threw him out."

Lucius smirked, and it seemed as if he was rather amused by that statement. "What exactly was it that he was doing that bothered you so?" he asked. "I admit I've spent far less time around him than you have, but he always seemed to be like that. You always complained about him. What happened this time?"

"He was not paying attention to his work," Severus said, his anger rising. "I do not wish not have my lab blown up because he can't concentrate."

"Or was it that he was concentrating on  _you_?" Lucius chuckled at the glare that Severus sent him. "I suppose that answers my question, doesn't it?" He shook his head as he delivered the finishing move, which won him the game. "You daft, blithering idiot. You are typically quite an intelligent man, yet you can't seem to see what's right in front of you, even if I've been telling you for quite a while now!"

Severus continued to glare. Neither man started a third game. "Excuse me? And what, pray tell, is that?"

Lucius gave an exasperated sigh. "I've been telling you to fuck him, haven't I?" Lucius asked. "You two are  _obviously_ attracted to each other. That was obvious from the first moment I saw the two of you in the same room, which is why I told you to do something about it. You haven't listened."

Severus felt his blood begin to boil, and it took much of his self-control to not hex Lucius where he stood. "I do not want anything to do with him," Severus said, a low, dangerous tone to his voice. "I am  _not_ attracted to him in any way, and even if I was, it doesn't matter. The contract will be over soon, and then I never have to see Potter again."

Lucius groaned and rolled his eyes. "You are in denial, Severus," he told him, standing up. "I wonder for how long." Without letting Severus respond, the blond left through the Floo, thus ending their conversation.


	18. Chapter 18

Harry was furious as he walked away from Snape's house. He had gotten kicked out of the lab - again - for doing something that Snape did every time he was there! Yet, _he_ got kicked out. And of course, Snape had been furious at Harry calling him a hypocrite. Figured, because he _was_ a hypocrite, the greasy-haired bastard. And to think that he had actually thought about… well, that wasn’t important now. 

Harry tried not to think about Snape at all over the next week. He knew, though, that every Saturday was a contract date, and he needed to go back. He also needed to work on potions, and that required using Snape’s lab. It was a twisted circle, and Harry was stuck right in the middle of it. It was maddening, and the only cure for it was for the contract to end. That brought about another series of worries and misgivings. The end of the contract, which was approaching sooner than he would like, meant no more sleeping potions - ever. Since he was currently addicted to them, the risk of taking more ever again was too high unless they were given to him by someone like Madam Pomfrey or Snape. Since neither one of those were going to happen, that left him with dealing with everything on his own. That was a scary thought.

The week passed by pretty quickly, and Harry had another couple of potions to work on. He knew he should be going more than once a week, but considering how things had turned out the last time he had been in Snape’s lab, Harry wasn’t pressing his luck. He used the rest of his time to try and study as much as he could. It was hard when he wasn’t sleeping, and he just felt like crawling into a hole and never coming out. Nonetheless, Harry found himself walking to Snape’s lab the next Saturday with his potions ingredients and parchment notes. He opened up the door and went inside. Severus looked back at him. Their eyes met for a second before they broke their gaze and went back to their own work. After the last time he had been here, Harry made a mental note not to look at him again. Besides, he didn’t _want_ to look at him. Sure, there was that weird thought he’d had last time he’d been here about Snape’s hair.

Harry shook his head and tried to concentrate on work. He had about six weeks or so until his test, and he needed to make sure he was up to par. That’s all he needed was to fail, and have that posted in every paper. Throughout the rest of the day, Harry noticed that Severus was specifically trying _not_ to look at him. Had Harry yelling at him last week made him realize what he was doing? He found that hard to believe because it wasn’t as if it was the first time he’d called him out on it!

Harry tried to get out of there as soon as possible and slept fairly well that night. He tried to study over the next couple days, but it got harder and harder as the days went on. It had been weeks on only one drop of the potion a week, and it was starting to get to him. He tried using the journal that Hermione had gotten him for his birthday, but it only made things seem worse. As soon as he read them back to himself, it made him realize how low he’d fallen.

It was on Wednesday night when he realized that his next contract date _wasn’t_ Saturday - it wasn’t for another week. He was going to be weaned off, after all. That sent a wave of panic rushing through him. He ended up having to take a potion for his chest when an attack came because of it. He slept worse that night than he had in awhile, and it left him feeling on edge the next couple of days.

Saturday night, he had enough. He had been woken up in the middle of the night by yet another nightmare, and it was as if a light switch had been turned on inside him. He thought to himself, _I need more potion._ So, he got up and threw on a pair of old jeans and a threadbare t-shirt that he used around the house. Then, he left, going to the alley and Apparating to Diagon Alley without another thought.

He had no idea how late it was, and Harry didn’t care. He made a beeline for the backdoor to Snape shop and knocked on it. He knew that it wouldn’t be open as it was for him during the week. He continued knocking, and when that didn’t work, he turned the knob and found it was, indeed, locked. He started to slam on the door. It didn’t occur to him that other people lived above their shops, too, not _just_ Snape.

It was another minute before the door opened. Snape was standing there, looking sleepy and confused. Harry figured he would know why was there in the middle of the night. He thought that Snape would either shut the door in his face or give him what he wanted. However, the potions master did neither. Instead, he stood there for a second, almost as if he wondered if he was dreaming before he slightly looked him up and down.

In Harry’s current mindset, he didn’t register it at the time. He just stared, wondering when he’d let him in or shut the door in his face. It was another minute or two before Snape grabbed his arm. “What on earth are you doing, Potter?” Snape asked. He sounded annoyed, and the firm grasp on Harry’s arm confirmed that. “It’s two o’clock in the morning. You’re going to make a scene, and I do _not_ want to end up in the papers again.” He dragged him inside, shutting the door behind him.

Harry was led upstairs to Severus’s flat. “I have to have the potion.”

“Potter -”

“No, I have to. I can’t go without. I need it. Please, just one -”

“Potter, stop -”

“Please, I need it. You don’t understand.”

“Potter, I told you before -”

It was then that Harry’s mind started to kick in a bit, and he realized what he had done. It was also then that he realized the look that Severus had given him after he’d answered the door. It was almost as if he had been checking him out or something. No, that couldn’t be right, could it? “Did you just…?”

“Did I what?” Snape asked, a warning tone in his voice.

Harry figured he must have imagined it. After all, he was a bit unsteady at the moment. It had been so long since he’d had sleeping potions, and this long break was wearing on him. He sat down on the couch, the entire even starting to wear on him. Snape had moved, though, and came back to him with a shot of something.

“Firewhiskey,” Snape said simply. “You’re not getting any more potion. I told you that before. You are addicted, so it is only natural that you want more. However, that is the point of our contract.”

Harry reached out to take the shot from Snape, their fingers brushing as he did so. Both of them had frozen for a moment before Snape pulled his hand back. Harry took the glass, staring down at it. He had felt something when their fingers touched, and it was obvious that Snape had felt it too. This wasn’t the first time that it had happened, either. Maybe it was just because they were both tired and exhausted right now.

Harry downed his shot, and then stood up. He walked over to Snape, standing right in front of him. “Sorry about this,” Harry said, feeling like an idiot now that he was coming to, so to speak. He realized then that he was probably standing a bit too close. He looked up at Snape, and then wordlessly left and went home.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry had felt ashamed of his breakdown. He had gotten himself into such trouble. He didn’t know how to deal with this. He figured he needed to just keep taking it one day at a time, because there was no other way that he knew how to deal with it. Not that he was dealing with it very well right now. Harry went over to practice on Saturday. Neither he nor Snape mentioned his freakout the night before. He left quickly that afternoon, though he couldn’t help but look back at Snape, wondering if he had thought about it. Then, Harry remembered that he wasn’t supposed to care.

The next few days dragged on by, and Harry just tried not to run out the door and beg for another potion. He wasn’t going to do that again. The next contract date came finally, and Harry almost ran out the door that morning to get it. He made himself go and practice at the lab, and not mention the potion once.  When Harry left that day, that left only two more contract dates, and that was a terrifying thought.

It left him realizing that after that, he’d have no reason to see Snape ever again. That left him feeling very confused because he didn’t want to stop seeing him. Shouldn’t he want to stop seeing him?

~~~~~~~~~~

For Harry, the next and a half week continued to pass by very slowly. He woke up each day wanting more of the potion and wondering how being cut off completely was going to be feel. He went to the lab once during that time period, but he thought more about Snape while he was there than the damn potion. Finally, his second to the last contract date came around, but that left only one more.

Three days before the very last contract date was Hermione’s birthday. Ron was taking her out for a romantic dinner, so Harry dropped by the night before to give her her present. Harry got her a leather-bound edition of the Complete Works of William Shakespeare. She oohed and ahhed over it, and of course, Ron had no idea what it was about or who Shakespeare was.

The next night, Harry had cleaned up from dinner and then was trying to study. After all, his test was next weekend! He was so far behind, or at least that’s how he felt. Right in the middle of that, there was a frantic knocking at his door. Frowning, as he wasn’t expecting anyone and Ron and Hermione were on a date, he went and answered. There, at his door, was a teary faced Hermione. She was wearing a knee-length lavender colored dress, with some cap sleeves and a flattering neckline.

Harry thought she looked great. It was nice that she had gotten dressed up for Ron because they didn’t get to do this very often.

“Hermione, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Harry asked her. Hermione shook her head. He led her inside and closed the door.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know where else to go. Ginny’s away at training,” Hermione said.

“Don’t worry about it.” Harry led her over to the couch and sat her down. “What happened?” His first thought was that Ron had done something horrible to get her to be in such a state.

“Ron and I had a fight,” Hermione told him. _That’s nothing new,_ Harry thought to himself. “I broke it off with him. The engagement, everything.”

Harry was a bit surprised to hear that. They had always worked things out before. “What happened?”

“It’s just… Ugh, I feel like he’s so… like he’s holding me back, almost. He’s not ready! He just doesn’t care about the details and our future… and I do care!” Hermione’s tears were beginning to still. All Harry could do was rub her shoulder. “I just was so angry, and I just knew… I just know that it just… wasn’t right. I love him, but… maybe that’s not enough.”

Hermione leaned into him, and Harry just kept his arm around her. They sat like that for a bit before her tears dried up. “I’m sorry about this, Harry.”

Harry shook his head. “Don’t worry about it,” he told her. “You’re my best friend. You can tell me anything.”

Hermione smiled at him. “Thanks.” She sat up, pulling away from him. He dropped his arm from her shoulder. She stood up. “I guess… I’ll stay with my parents. Tell them what happened.”

It was clear by her tone of voice that wasn’t what she wanted, but what she felt was logical. “Nonsense, you can stay here,” he told her. “I have a spare bedroom.”

“Are you sure?” She asked. Harry nodded. “Thanks. I appreciate it. I’ll be gone tomorrow.”

“Where are you going to stay? Ginny doesn’t have the room. Your parents? No way. You can stay here until you get our own place, for as long as you need.”

“What about Teddy?” She asked.

“We have magic,” Harry said matter-of-factly. “We can transfigure the couch into a bed for either you or Teddy.” He led her into the spare bedroom, and transfigured the bed into a full-sized bed for her, changing the pattern on the bedspread to something a bit more feminine and mature, and not quite for a three-year-old boy. He changed the furniture to give her a bit more room, too. “There you go.”

Hermione smiled at him again. “Thank you.” She gave him a hug. “You’re a true friend.” She took a deep breath. “I’m going to take a shower. Do you have something I can wear? I came here in this.”

Harry nodded. “Sure.” He gave her a pair of shorts and an old t-shirt. “I’m sure you can use magic to make the shorts fit.”

“Thanks again.” With that, Hermione went to take a shower.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night, Harry had been about to put a silencing charm on his room when he got scolded by Hermione. He explained that he didn’t want to wake her up in the middle of the night. He didn’t need to say why. Hermione told him that if something happened, he’d have no way to call for help or notify her. With his chest injury, she said, and his nightmares, it was too risky. She said not to worry about her. His health and safety were best. Harry had to agree reluctantly.

Hermione didn’t say anything about being woken up, but he knew he had. They had both gotten up early because Hermione had to go to work, and Harry wasn’t sleeping anyway. Besides, she needed to go over and get something to wear for work. They were eating breakfast when a loud, almost angry knock sounded at the door. They gave each other confused looks. “Go ahead and eat, I’ll get it,” he told her. After all, she had to go to work.

Ron was at the door, and he was furious. “Where is she?” he demanded. “Is she here? Hermione! Is she here?”

“I know who you meant, Ron,” Harry told him. Ron moved to push past him, but Harry blocked his way. “I don’t think she wants to see you.”

“Excuse me?” Ron’s anger was not dissipating.”She’s _my_ fiancee!”

“Not anymore,” Harry told him. He tried to be as gentle as possible about it, but the redhead had to face facts.

Ron didn’t want to hear anymore because he pushed past Harry into the apartment. “Hermione!” Ron called. “Are you here? I want to talk!”

Harry shut the door and stepped in front of him. “She was really upset last night. Give her some space, mate.”

Ron’s eyes narrowed. “Of course. She _is_ here. Of course, she came here to _you._ ”

Harry suddenly felt a rush of anger run through him. “Excuse me?” He opened his mouth again to hurl some insult because hexing him wouldn’t do when a voice spoke from behind him.

“Harry!” Hermione said, stopping their argument in its tracks. “Thanks, but I can take care of myself.” Harry looked back at her and nodded. “Can we have a minute, please?”

“Why are you wearing his bloody clothes?” Ron hollered.

“Because I can’t sleep in my dress, you bloody moron!” Hermione screamed. She took a deep breath. “I’ll be fine, Harry.” He walked past her and back into the kitchen, and couldn’t help but overhear their conversation.

“Hermione,” Ron said. “Look, we can talk about this. I’m sorry. I -”

“No, Ron, we can’t,” Hermione said. Harry could almost hear her shaking her head. He could picture it as he tried to finish eating. “Look, this just isn’t going to work.”

“We’ve been together for three years! We can work it out!”

“No, we can’t,” Hermione said. “You just… Look, every time we try to discuss it, your answer is always ‘later’ or ‘some other time.' I try to talk to you about different venues, and you say ‘Why not do it at the Burrow like Bill?’ I ask you about a caterer, and you say ‘Mum can do it.' I ask about decorations and colors, and you say ‘What Bill and Fleur did was nice’ or ‘George and Angelina are doing _this._ ’”

“What’s wrong with that?” Ron asked. He sounded almost offended at the suggestion that Hermione wanted something different, apart from Ron’s family and whatever they did.

“Nothing!” Hermione cried. “If that’s what you want. It’s not what _I_ want. I try to talk to you about finding a house, and you just say ‘we’re in a nice place.’”

“We are!”

“Not for a married couple! We were getting married!” Hermione said, the frustration evident in her voice.

“I can fix it-”

“No, Ron, you can’t! You can’t fix who you are,” Hermione told him. “I wouldn’t want you to. Besides, that’s not a relationship. You don’t want to get married right now.”

“Hermione, I proposed -”

“-because you think that’s what you want,” Hermione said. “But you’re not ready. You don’t want to talk about it, and until you do want to on your own… you’re not ready. I love you, Ron, but I want different, I want to be challenged, I want more. That’s not what you want.”

“But I love you, too, Hermione,” Ron said. “Isn’t that enough?”

Harry could almost hear Hermione shaking her head again. “No, it’s not,” she told him. “We just don’t want the same things.” Harry felt horrible for both of them and had flashbacks of his breakup with Ginny. _They_ hadn’t been engaged.  “What you want is dating, your job, and fun. I want a future, a husband, a life partner.”

“So, what does this mean?” Ron asked, sounding unbearably sad.

“Look, maybe in a few months we can revisit it, but I don’t promise anything,” Hermione said. “Sometimes, people just aren’t meant to be. You should apologize to Harry.” Harry heard their footsteps coming closer, and shortly, they both walked in. “I’m coming over in a bit to change for work, and then I will get my stuff after.”

Ron nodded. “Where are you staying?”

“Here,” Hermione said. “Until I get my own place. I will try and pay rent -”

“Don’t worry about it,” Ron told her. “I can handle the whole thing on my own.”

“You don’t have to pay here, either,” Harry told her. “Put your money towards your own place.”

Hermione nodded. “Thanks.”

“I’m sorry about what I said, mate,” Ron said. “I was just upset. I didn’t mean it.”

Harry shrugged. “Don’t worry about it.”

Ron said his goodbyes, and that left Harry and Hermione alone. He hoped that this didn’t change things because he didn’t want to be in the middle of them. He knew that Hermione had made the right choice, though.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The breakup between Ron and Hermione had left Harry thinking. Who was the right person for you? How did you know? His final contract date with Snape was coming up. He had no idea what was going on between them, but he knew one thing - he _wanted_ to keep seeing him. He knew that Snape was stubborn, but Harry knew what he wanted. He knew Snape wanted it, too. He needed to get him to see that - that they needed to figure it out, together.

Harry walked to Snape’s backdoor for his final contract date. He had no idea what he was going to say or how he was going to phrase it. He was not the most eloquent person in the world. He would figure out something, though; he always did.

Harry found the back door and didn’t even check to see if it was open. He knocked on the door and waited for a minute before Snape answered the door. “Severus, I-”

“Yes, I know why you’re here,” Snape said. “Here is your last potion.” He handed him the vial, and Harry noticed that he purposefully kept their fingers from touching. “Try not to inflict any more damage to your person. Have a nice life, Potter.” With that, Snape slammed the door in Harry’s face.

Harry stood there, in shock. “Really?” He kicked the door, and then slammed on it. “After all that? Come on!” That couldn’t be it. It just couldn’t be!

“You’re acting like a lovesick teenager, Potter,” Snape said from the other side of the door. “Now go away!”

“You can’t be serious!”

“I do not joke,” Snape said. “The contract is over, and thus, there is no reason for us to see each other. Go away.”  
  
Harry stood there, as feelings of hurt and confusion washed over him. What was he going to do? He wanted to keep seeing Snape, and he knew the old bastard wanted the same thing. Why was he doing this? Knowing that there was no way he could solve this today, Harry turned around and walked down the street and out of Diagon Alley.

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**  
**IN[AFTER THE CONTRACT](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6079473)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for sticking around! No, I am *not* ending it like that, I promise. I have a plan. There is a sequel, which I have already started posting. It won't be long now, I swear. Please go and read! Thank you again!


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